Please welcome Mlewis904

Old 11-12-2009, 09:32 AM
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Please welcome Mlewis904

Hi there my boyfriend of over 4 years finally said to me last night that he wants to go to AA today. I've checked out all the meetings in my city and they are all called different things. I don't know which one to choose from because there are so many...some are book study, some are discussion....but they are all open to the public and there are several throughout the day. Which one is the best one for your first time?

Also my boyfriend was kinda freaked and said he didnt want to be the only one there. Are there a lot of plp at these meetings...what are the meetings like? Does it really help! He needs a good support group and I just felt like AA would be perfect for him, and I hope it is...

What can he expect? Are there any younger people there? Do the people there make you feel comfortable?

He used to drink everyday. A 12 pack and a pint of has caused me and his family so much pain. A couple of weeks ago he broke his arm and swore it was sign telling him he cause everyone so much pain. So he decided to quit drinking. He's been sober for two weeks, but last night I caught him sneaking it, so he told me he can't do it alone and needs AA...

I hope this is what changes his life!

Any info about AA would be great! Thanks so much!

Last edited by cece1960; 11-12-2009 at 10:09 AM.
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Old 11-12-2009, 09:41 AM
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You may want to wander over to the Friend & Family forum, a lot of good information to be found there.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 11-12-2009, 09:43 AM
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Hello M. Lewis, and welcome to SR. I've asked the moderators to move this over to Newcomers, in the meantime I'll try to answer some of your questions.

For a newcomer to AA I'd recommend an open newcomers meeting, but he will find support at any meeting, for the most part we are all very welcoming and supportive to anyone who has the desire to stay sober.

AA meetings can be as small as two people, or sometimes there are hundreds, it just depends on the group. At our club we have members as young as 14, alcoholism doesn't discriminate by age so neither do we.

I hope he finds a meeting that he feels good about, and I also hope you'll consider checking out Al-Anon, it might be good for you to be informed and think about recovery and taking care of yourself too.

Please look around here for more info
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Old 11-12-2009, 10:40 AM
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I see a couple of warning signs - why are you looking up meetings and posting questions here instead of him? You cannot work his program for him, he has to do it for himself.
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Old 11-12-2009, 10:52 AM
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He doesn't know how to use a computer. I help him because I love him with all of my heart. He is my best friend, and he has no one else.
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Old 11-12-2009, 11:23 AM
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Awesome that you want to see him happy and sober. The absolute best thing you can do to help, is go to some al-anon meetings, or at least read about it. Some of what you can do to help him will be a little counter intuitive and perhaps even objectionable to you.... at first!

Welcome to SR

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Old 11-12-2009, 12:56 PM
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Welcome MLewis

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Old 11-12-2009, 12:58 PM
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The New Me starting 1/11/09
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Old 11-12-2009, 01:50 PM
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you'll find great support here
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Old 11-12-2009, 03:02 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Welcome to both of you....

While he starts AA you might want to start Al anon
Al anon is for those who deal with loved ones alcoholism.

Best of luck to the two of you...
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Old 11-12-2009, 03:43 PM
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I do hope you try AlAnon and the Friends & Families forums on this board for support for yourself.

Hopefully your boyfriend will seek support for his addiction.
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Old 11-12-2009, 03:45 PM
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same planet...different world
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and no, he won't be all alone. I hope he'll find an 'open diswcussion' meeitng.

that's the kind *I* started out with.
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Old 11-12-2009, 04:06 PM
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Welcome! Just go to any open meeting and see what happens. Just be
ready to say " my name is .... And I'm an alcoholic", or you can pass and not say any thing. Try to interact with someone after the meeting that you relate to and go from there. Also, if you have time
check out hbo's addiction website. Good luck to you guys! Question; why isn't he checking it out as well?
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Old 11-12-2009, 04:24 PM
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Welcome, and I also hope you find help for yourself. I know you *think* you're being helpful doing this for him, but a huge part of recovery is making the effort (think 'whatever it takes') to initiate it yourself, even something as seemingly simple as looking up meetings. He can find the number to AA in the area, in the phone book, call, talk to someone who knows about the meetings in the area, and guide him. That first step in helping MYSELF was huge for me.. having anyone hold my hand along the way, actually did more harm than good. His recovery has to be completely independent of you.
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Old 11-12-2009, 08:02 PM
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