coming_clean

life is awsome...

how´s that for inspiration

keithj

I can respect that Neo, and wouldn't try to convince you otherwise. I will, however, note an observation that I see around this forum. The people that have remained sober for an extended period of time (years not months) seem to have in common the willingness to do anything to stay sober. It doesn't matter how they work their recovery, be it AA or something else. The common factor is that they are willing to go to any length. And they work hard at it and make it their top priority.

When I got sober, I would have done anything. I still will. If someone had told me that a bunch of people were having success with sacrificing chickens and eating their entrails, I probably would have tried it.

The point I'm making is that ruling out anything strikes me as a reservation. I don't think having reservations works very well. The mindset of, "I'm willing to do this and this for sobriety, but not this other thing," is somewhat limiting. You know what I'm saying? I'm willing to recover, as long as I can recover the way I want to kind of thinking.

For me, it was the willingness to do exactly the things I didn't want to do that led me to real happiness with sobriety.

NEOMARXIST

Joedris thanks for that post...you speak with much wisdom and knowledge. Thankyou. You are spot-on in what you say. I recognise what you say and I am learning to deal with it and to grow through it. Thankyou. What is gone is gone and I know deep-down in my heart that the mellow goodtimes are long since passed and that addict part of me gets sad and pines for them when given the strength too ie- lack of gratitute, acceptance, honesty, projecting out of the present day etcetc.

Also thanks Jomey too. I like what you say about sitting with the "uncomfortable" thoughts/feelings and not letting them gain too much of my time and just letting them come and go without making anything out of them diminishes their power/influence. I can relate to that and will be a technique I will apply to my recovery from now on.

I gained great inspiration from the AA meeting I attended tonight. There were some good shares and I shared about where i am currently at. AA for me personally needs to be a take what I want and leave the rest as when anything starts to become "forced" upon me that is where the addict in me reacts and thoughts of anti-establishment, authority show up and the F*ck-it and F*ck-them mentality arrises in me. I am learning to recognise what works for me and to understand my mind more and more.


Thanks again to all of you from whom I gained inspiration.

peace xxx