How precious our lives are and fleeting
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Bethany, OK
Posts: 47
Horselover, depression kills hope and hopelessness leads to despair and it always attacks the sweetest and most sensitive souls. My prayers are for all whose lives this tragedy has touched. I weep for the children. Thank you for your many posts that have given me hope. John in Oklahoma
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I am totally blown away by you people. I do have a lot of work to do to get on with my life. I haven't been able to pull anything out of my bag today for the gratitude boards. I feel a bit black myself. I guess I can allow it though. Its probably even a "normal" reaction. I received the details of the burial. I know this is selfish but I can't go. I have offered to watch my friend's kids for her so she can go. That works. She was closer to the family any ways.
Thank you all for helping me through this moment of darkness. I know the light is somewhere nearby.
Thank you all for helping me through this moment of darkness. I know the light is somewhere nearby.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Oh the horror, her kids, her family and you all, I am so sad for all of you. Thank you for your post, how quickly it can happen. I am going to call my loved ones today and make sure I tell all of them I love them.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
********************{horselover}}}}}}}}}}}
Once we learn that -
just how transient this existance is ....
when we say "I love you"
we mean it more deeply than before.
When we live as if
everything we do
might be the last time we'll ever do it ....
our own lives become far deeper experiencially
and have far more meaning
than before.
In that way
I found a way
to move forward
in the depth of turmoil
and of grief
because I can look on these many many people
who have tried and failed
to work things out
or to even continue living their lives...
as teachers of that simple truth.
Everything we do
we could bwe doing it for the last time.
Everything we say
we could be saying it for the last time
every hello
and every good bye
(and every chocolate)
could be that last one.
I want to make *my* 'last thing'
... mean something.
Hokka-hey.
Today may be my last.
Once we learn that -
just how transient this existance is ....
when we say "I love you"
we mean it more deeply than before.
When we live as if
everything we do
might be the last time we'll ever do it ....
our own lives become far deeper experiencially
and have far more meaning
than before.
In that way
I found a way
to move forward
in the depth of turmoil
and of grief
because I can look on these many many people
who have tried and failed
to work things out
or to even continue living their lives...
as teachers of that simple truth.
Everything we do
we could bwe doing it for the last time.
Everything we say
we could be saying it for the last time
every hello
and every good bye
(and every chocolate)
could be that last one.
I want to make *my* 'last thing'
... mean something.
Hokka-hey.
Today may be my last.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Bethany, OK
Posts: 47
Originally Posted by barb dwyer 
********************{horselover}}}}}}}}}}}
Once we learn that -
just how transient this existance is ....
when we say "I love you"
we mean it more deeply than before.
When we live as if
everything we do
might be the last time we'll ever do it ....
our own lives become far deeper experiencially
and have far more meaning
than before.
In that way
I found a way
to move forward
in the depth of turmoil
and of grief
because I can look on these many many people
who have tried and failed
to work things out
or to even continue living their lives...
as teachers of that simple truth.
Everything we do
we could bwe doing it for the last time.
Everything we say
we could be saying it for the last time
every hello
and every good bye
(and every chocolate)
could be that last one.
I want to make *my* 'last thing'
... mean something.
Hokka-hey.
Today may be my last.
Once we learn that -
just how transient this existance is ....
when we say "I love you"
we mean it more deeply than before.
When we live as if
everything we do
might be the last time we'll ever do it ....
our own lives become far deeper experiencially
and have far more meaning
than before.
In that way
I found a way
to move forward
in the depth of turmoil
and of grief
because I can look on these many many people
who have tried and failed
to work things out
or to even continue living their lives...
as teachers of that simple truth.
Everything we do
we could bwe doing it for the last time.
Everything we say
we could be saying it for the last time
every hello
and every good bye
(and every chocolate)
could be that last one.
I want to make *my* 'last thing'
... mean something.
Hokka-hey.
Today may be my last.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Thank you for sharing this horse lover, my sincerest condolances to you as well as her family.
Sharing this helps us all in MANY ways, far beyond staying sober through the worst of times.
It may not seem like it now, but already good has come of this, many folks contemplate suicide, the majority of us will never follow through with it, you sharing this lessens the probability of every person reading this right now of following through with it when the thoughts seem over whelming.
Knowing the pain and guilt brought upon others by suicide now could be just that little bit of knowledge that will cause some one to seek help rather then following through with the act.
Thanks for sharing this with us, my heart aches for the children and my prayers go up that one day these children will be able to get beyond this without to much emotional scarring.
Sharing this helps us all in MANY ways, far beyond staying sober through the worst of times.
It may not seem like it now, but already good has come of this, many folks contemplate suicide, the majority of us will never follow through with it, you sharing this lessens the probability of every person reading this right now of following through with it when the thoughts seem over whelming.
Knowing the pain and guilt brought upon others by suicide now could be just that little bit of knowledge that will cause some one to seek help rather then following through with the act.
Thanks for sharing this with us, my heart aches for the children and my prayers go up that one day these children will be able to get beyond this without to much emotional scarring.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Sarah. 
How sad for all concerned. It highlights how serious depression can be, hopefully it will help someone reading this thread.
It may seem selfish but I agree with your friend who said when you are that depressed you honestly think the world (and even your kids) will be better off without you. So it isn't really selfish it is a mental illness.
How sad for all concerned. It highlights how serious depression can be, hopefully it will help someone reading this thread.
It may seem selfish but I agree with your friend who said when you are that depressed you honestly think the world (and even your kids) will be better off without you. So it isn't really selfish it is a mental illness.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Thank you Barb, Taz, Jahnilee, Wolf, Selfseeking, Stoney, Believe, and everyone that's taken time to post on this.
I have to say that I didn't know her well. We were more acquaintances, but for some strange reasons hearing about this hit me deep. Maybe it was because I can't get past the fact that it could have been prevented. Maybe its because we are both Mothers and I know how lonely that job can be. Maybe its because her faith was so strong and I don't understand how it couldn't help her. Maybe because my husband has depression. I don't know what the string was that tied us at the end, but it was there.
She is being laid to rest today and it really is for family and close friends. I won't go, but I may go visit the grave at some point. We spoke a couple of times at the mom's group, but that was it. The mom's group is putting together something in order to take care of her husband's and the girls' immediate needs such as meals, errands, and childcare. I finish my work at the dairy in about 2 weeks and would like to step up to this task. I have to do something. I still ache for her family, but I know their church, the mom's group, and their neighborhood will help the family. We are having a prayer meeting at my son's school tomorrow morning for the family. Hopefully all this will help in some way.
One of the things I have taken from this experience is at least right now, I love deeper and I am living in the moment as much as possible. It really does teach you that life is fragile.
I have to say that I didn't know her well. We were more acquaintances, but for some strange reasons hearing about this hit me deep. Maybe it was because I can't get past the fact that it could have been prevented. Maybe its because we are both Mothers and I know how lonely that job can be. Maybe its because her faith was so strong and I don't understand how it couldn't help her. Maybe because my husband has depression. I don't know what the string was that tied us at the end, but it was there.
She is being laid to rest today and it really is for family and close friends. I won't go, but I may go visit the grave at some point. We spoke a couple of times at the mom's group, but that was it. The mom's group is putting together something in order to take care of her husband's and the girls' immediate needs such as meals, errands, and childcare. I finish my work at the dairy in about 2 weeks and would like to step up to this task. I have to do something. I still ache for her family, but I know their church, the mom's group, and their neighborhood will help the family. We are having a prayer meeting at my son's school tomorrow morning for the family. Hopefully all this will help in some way.
One of the things I have taken from this experience is at least right now, I love deeper and I am living in the moment as much as possible. It really does teach you that life is fragile.
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