My first meeting.
 

As soon as I pulled into the parking lot and saw not a few but many other cars it really hit home. My last excuse (no one else would be there) had been extinguished. I even saw people walking in one by one. At that point my ever present emotions got the best of me. The tears started to well up. I saw another car pull in. At this point I was already walking the same path I had seen two others go down. I got to the building now questioning if I really was in the right place..at the right sort of meeting. There were a few doors I didn't know where to go. So afraid of entering a room which would have a diet and nutrition meeting taking place or whatever. The tears started flowing as the man in the car that pulled in behind me came down the path. I thought about being clever and asking if Bill W. was inside but instead I sobbed "I don't know where to go". He looked at me confused, I think I said something I know I cried harder. He said Oh...your looking for a meeting and opened the door. "Are you OK?". My reply..."I will be when I get through the door." He said..."you'll be fine we don't bite" Not realizing how very true my last statement was I walked in, still crying and was immediately overcome by the number of people in that room. At least 30. This is at 10:30am! I was more astounded by the women who looked like me. It was a relief to see girls my age...there were about 6 of them. The room wasn't so big three tables shaped like the letter U in the middle and tons of chairs along the perimeter of the wall. Not many seats left, full house. I found a seat next to a girl who looked to be about my age. We never spoke but I felt safe there. I wore a hat kept my head down, cried and listened.

I bit my lip, clenched my fists, read the posters they had pinned to the wall, stared at the ceiling, stared at my feet and then the sharing started. The stories were all different all interesting all helpful. If you have been reading my posts you well know I have a lot to say...so many questions, so many thoughts. I felt the need to share and I did. Although I couldn't say the "and I am a alcoholic part" I did a roundabout version of it. Something along the lines of I guess I' here because I might, I think...I have a problem. I may be an alcoholic. Told the story of my Liver enzymes and how I was simply asked to stop drinking and couldn't. Told them how I had gotten through 9 days on willpower and I knew it was running out. told them I was sent to AA because AA can help. The end. Happy I said it...nice to see the smiles and nods. Just a relief.

What happened last was so wonderful. The meeting ended and all the girls who looked like me came over and put their phone number in my hand. Then some of the older women started giving me their numbers and then a few men. I have a pocketful of numbers of people I can call. I don't think I will but it was so nice, it made me feel good. I was 15 minutes late to pick my son up because so many women WANTED to talk to me. I don't think I have felt that in a long time. They wanted to hear my story to share theirs to encourage me. Even men were, I guess for lack of a better word "congratulating" me and offering advice and support. Many suggested other meetings to attend, someone gave me the book Living Sober everyone listened and smiled and encouraged me. I left feeling great. I want to go again.

I feel like my deep breaths just got a little deeper. I am so relieved but more then that I am hopeful. I look forward to going again...maybe even tonight at 7. I am starting to really want to be sober. It seems there is a bright side. Thank you SR for getting me through the first 9 days...I have more then just willpower now. I think I may be a member of a group that 2 weeks ago I thought was for "other" people. Instead it may be that group I have been looking for unknowingly for years...I fit right in.

Jo

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Way to Go Girl!!!!!!!! :)

Congratulations, how wonderful! I am so glad you went!

My first AA meeting was almost the exact experience you had.

I tried living sober on my own with no face to face support. After five years, I convinced myself things in my life were going well enough that I could drink and not be sucked back down into the bottle.

I was very wrong.

This year has been a series of starts and stops...till finally, I surrended, and went to AA.

I have never felt the freedom, peace and love that I feel in those rooms. Those people are just like me, they get me, and the crazy thoughts and feelings I have.

I am so glad your experience was a good one.

Congrats, Jo! At my first meeting, the folks there treated my arrival like a celebration. And a friend who's in AA as well kept telling me how excited he was for me, that life was about to change and become BETTER.

I am on day 47 or 48, and I can tell you, it is a celebration. A drunk in denial is sad, a drunk in recovery is worth rejoicing over. Congrats to you.

Jo! That is awesome! I'm very proud of you and also inspired.

I called the helpline and found a meeting actually, there are a few to pick from. I have asked a dear friend to go with me. Haven't heard back. I'm one of those insecure people that needs someone to hold her hand. Well...not when I'm drinking I like to do that alone:)

So good job Jo! Wish me luck!

Karen

Not so bad, uh... ?? sounds like this is a group that you'll fit in well with!! I knew it when I found my "Home" group... Now I look forward to meetings.

Mark

Jo,

I am glad that the meeting went well for you.

I am not an AA person, but I think it's great that you are doing whatever it takes to stay sober.

Hi...:wave:
I noticed on another thread you were asking for some links
These are interesting IMO

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

ALCOHOL'S DAMAGING EFFECTS ON THE BRAIN

How We Get Addicted - TIME

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

I'm so glad you went....AA has been an awesome adventure
for me I wouldn't ever give it up.

Well Done.....:hug:

((((((jo!)))))

I am so happy for you! Please do call the women, we do want you to hear from you! Find out if they know any good women's meetings. I've met some amazing women in recovery who really helped me on my journey to health and happiness.

Love,

Lenina

This thread brought a great big grin to my face. Thanks for sharing, Jo. Keep coming back.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Glad it was a good experience for you! :)

I'm glad you went Jo - I'm glad you're moving on in your recovery too :)

D

Good for you for walking thru the door! And do call those women who gave you their numbers. They want you to call them. They can help you stay sober and by asking for their help, you are helping them to stay sober. I'm glad you went and had a good experience! :c011:

Hours later and I still feel good, don't get me wrong I still have cravings...been thinking about a celebratory glass of wine all day. But my mind isn't as convincing as it was yesterday...I feel a little stronger. If you are thinking about going please go. If it is anything like my meeting you will be sooo happy you did.

JKaren...I was trying so hard to find someone to go with me but I think it was better I did it alone...if you don't hear from your friend go anyway...you'll meet new friends very quickly! Everyone was soooo nice and happy to see me!

Jo

madam..........you just made my day.
what a wonderful begining.....

theres nothing like that feeling of hope and maybe there is light on the horizon..

Thankyou for posting.......

That was a great post Jo and you have a gift with your writing. Maybe some day you'll author a book. Thanks for sharing. :)

Congratulations Jo! That is great! I had a similar experience last week with my first meeting but you did a much better job at putting it into words:) I agree with Horselover about writing a book some day!

Jo,

I found a meeting and my friend is going with. I am committed to going but....don't want to. Nerves...I'll be fine and I am looking forward to the experience I just find new vulnerable situations HARD.

Karen

****************{dojoro}}}}}}}}}}}}

welcome to the Fellowship!!!

USE those phone numbers, woman! You never know you might be keeping one of THEM sober!