cambridge

Yes, since I am American I had to look up how to spell Guy Fawkes. Today wasn't that great of a day. Day 10. I was pretty useless at work, and then went to a meeting over lunch that really bummed me out. Usually I am pretty happy after meetings, but this one seemed quite negative and a lot of cross talk about whether you can trust/rely on/be friends with AA people or not. Also a lot of God talk, which I am still struggling with, as an Atheist.

I went to my class after work, and it ended up being cancelled because hardly anyone showed up. So we all walked down to Midsummer Commons and saw an amazing fireworks show. Better than drugs, and I was glad to see fireworks sober - wonder how long it's been...

Then, I got in touch with my husband, who I am separated from, because I knew he'd be there. Our relationship is a bit touch and go, and it has been a very trying few months for both of us. Met up with him and kissed him - 'You've been drinking!'. He's not an alcoholic, just funny how I don't remember tasting it on him before, probably because I had always been drinking too.

That was the first time that I had tasted alcohol since my sobriety, not to mention the pot smoke at the fireworks.

My choice was - go to the pub with him and his friends, go to the pub with my classmates, go to the pub with my pub quiz friends, or go home.

So here I am. I'm none too pleased about it, but I have a nice cup of tea.

It was funny, this was my first real craving since I quit. I could see as clear as day a cold pint of lager and wanted it so badly at that second. Then it passed.

I know some of the emotional turmoil and weakness is also related to the whole - separated from your husband in a foreign country when you moved to that country to marry him thing.

But everyone has problems, and mine won't get any better by drinking on them.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day.

Saphie

Hey Cambridge,
this alcoholic did it the other way around. I moved from Bicester, Oxon to PA to marry my American husband. We are not separated though (well not yet
Well done for going home and Happy 5th of November. 'I miss it' Next year you'll be able to do both: Stay sober and celebrate.
I would probably miss July 4th if I moved back.

cambridge

That would be nice. The bonfires are great though, just not so much to celebrate right now. Cept another day sober

Saphie

That's what it's all about - another day sober. I know it's tough at first, but I'm on day 44 and I promise it does get easier. If you let it. 11 days is great, you could celebrate that by having a nice English cup of tea Heck have your own bonfire. Keep going and posting. People on here are great.