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Evil Roommate Strikes Again

Old 11-04-2009, 04:32 PM
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Evil Roommate Strikes Again

I can't take this no more. And now my mind's back to thinking that drinking isn't a solution, but at least I don't have to take this if I'm drinking--I can ignore it all...

I know there'll be a price to pay, but some other day I won't have to come home to this... unfortunately it's starting to look like this will be the whole semester/possibly the whole year.

Here I am on bedrest with the second flu in a month, and as soon as my Evil Roommate is alone, she starts knocking on my door... and when I wearily ask what she wants, I am inunduated with verbal slights and accusations of not being willing to listen to her--she wants me to clean up after all of them, and she is not particularly clean in her day-to-day. Just thinks that it's okay to leave the house a mess all week, and then do a deep cleaning when she gets the urge. And I'm supposed to go along with this... after all I'm doing "nothing" (usually either here or studying...imagine that).

It's her issue, sure. But she's making it mine. I can't be in here without my headphones on... it's not that I believe anything she says, it's just that I'm tired of hearing it and don't feel obligated to listen. She's not the boss...

Now I should go live somewhere else, because what right do I have to have the flu?

So I go report it, and they tell me I can't talk to nobody, just file a report. They'll read it and get back to me--they've said this before, repeatedly. It's establishing a pattern, they say... If I had money, I'd leave and rent an apartment--anywhere would be better than here. But I don't have money.

I don't know what to do. I am trapped, and, worse, it's killing me to either recover--keep wanting to drink 'cause it's easy to ignore what's going on in my life that way, and *this* is what's going on in my life--or to get any schoolwork done properly. I am always stressed, waiting for her to snap at me, again... she knocks on the door till the song goes down and I hear her.

I can't take this no more. I don't know what to do.

Take care y'all, thanks for putting up with me,
-TB, shaking and crying
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Old 11-04-2009, 04:42 PM
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TB-(((hugs to you)))

I know this roomate situation is not healthy for you, at all, and that you are doing your best to stay on the course to recovery.

Remember., this isn't forever..and just because she says it doesn't make it true.

She is not worth drinking over....
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Old 11-04-2009, 04:44 PM
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TB

I don't know what to tell you beyond the fact that, if you're thinking drinkings your best solution, you need to go back to the drawing board.

I hope sharper minds than mine will help here...I don't know what will solve this problem - but running away to the bottle or ignoring the problem won't, TB.

D
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Old 11-04-2009, 04:47 PM
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I'm run out of solutions, is more accurate D.

Not aiming for drinking. I wanna *solve* this... People back in the chatroom.

Thanks y'all...
I know: June and I'm outta here. Not that long.

-TB
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Old 11-04-2009, 09:49 PM
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Hi TB,

Sounds like it might be time to have a long talk with this person, at least to try to express your side of the situation. It's worth a try and we both know a drink is not the answer.

I do have a cattle prod though, that may come in handy on those days she wants to lay around and let you do the work, lol. Couple of stings on the rump, and she'll be singing a new tune, lol.

Hang in there, starting over at day one is no fun, we know that!!

One day at a time,
Dallas
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Old 11-04-2009, 11:02 PM
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Yeah, no more day ones. They hurt me.


I know what she says isn't true, ANew... it's actually ridiculously over the line. My favorite line was when she claimed I didn't bother to clean up two dead rats on the vanity counter. Around here, the rats are the size of small tomcats.


I figured something out over the last couple hours. It's no longer just my roommate herself that bothers me. It's the way that the powers that be are just treating this all like it's nothing... I've been there before, in childhood, in adolescence, when I'm dependent on people who don't care at all. It'll go away... we can't stop him from doing that, just be happy he leaves... that sort of thing.

I guess it's issues I got, but it still doesn't feel good to be ignored like this. I guess they think I'm exaggerating--and the problem is, it's so far over the top, that may in fact be it, although I try to under report so it's at least believable.

I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in my own personal Hell, and I live in a small physical one too--and just like so many previous situations... it's a living Hell that nobody believes/cares is going on...

I won't drink, that's over--thanks FS for the little slap upside the head. I don't want to be back on day one. It won't solve the problem. There is nobody higher up than the people who are 'dealing' with this issue, unless I go to a statewide level... and I don't expect I'll get much results there.

So once more, I get to live in silent agony.

I'll be alright. I survived the last time.

-TB.
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Old 11-04-2009, 11:08 PM
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I remember when I was at Uni/College, I sometimes had to get REALLY annoying and persistent for things to get done. Bureaucracy is the same the world over.

It's not nothing, and it needs to be addressed.
Keep on them, TB

D
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Old 11-05-2009, 12:30 AM
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..you could use my 'rabbit-trap'..
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Old 11-05-2009, 12:51 AM
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ooh ozy! rotflmao... thank you. you killed my depression. i wanna photoshop her into it....

Sorry y'all for the inside joke, but i had to post that Oz here killed my depression about 45 seconds after the chatroom shut itself down. I had been in there to keep myself distracted, and it appears I have to do something else for a while... just when I find a good thing. Grr. Oh well, I guess that's how life's gonna be, huh.


Good timing, Ozy.

:ghug2

-TB
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Old 11-05-2009, 01:03 AM
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TB!

Your situation sucks ass! Is it till only June, as you indicated? If so then suck it up and keep on going in your sobriety! Reminds me of a couple of situations i got in when i was younger, in both cases i used to hate going back to my room...there was a kind of alley behind the house at one place and i used to sit there until it was time to go to bed instead of going in and sitting with the people there. I had no money at the time and could not move, i remember feeling very alone and sad...it's no fun!

Trying to remember what i did, oh yeah forged signatures on some cheques and cashed them, then moved to another place which i got kicked out of when the police came round with a warrant and then ended up sleeping in my car for a few nights and in front of the magistrates a few weeks later lol So there is one thing you shouldn't do!

I doubt your room mate has any idea of how much effect she has on you, but wow she will have all power if you drink because of her...so don't...AA meeting soon?
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Old 11-05-2009, 02:56 AM
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That roomate (or hellmate) of yours sounds a stinker TB but she ain't worth drinking over. I know you know this but it doesn't hurt to repeat. Hang in there TB *Hugs*
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Old 11-05-2009, 05:28 AM
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TB sounds like a tough spot your in...... take it up the chain!!!!

If the people you have complained to do nothing then that gives you the right to go up the next rung in the ladder.

You said you had to write it up and give it to them, did they reply to you in writing?

If they did then it is time to find out who is directly above them on the ladder, make a copy of what you gave them and thier reply and give a written complaint to those folks. Keep taking it further up the ladder, you will eventually get some one to take action if it is warranted.

How do I know this works? Well when I was in the Air Force we took a problem up the chain of command, we started with the local person in charge, from there to the Base commander, then HQ of the Air Force, and when none of that worked we took it to our Senators and congressmen!!!! Things got straightened out REAL quick once congress got into the picture!!! BUT we showed them we had exhausted all other avenues before we went to them.
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Old 11-05-2009, 05:34 AM
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OMG thirty, I totally feel for ya!! Southern Cali??? Is that where you are? Have you checked Craigslist? I know it's extreme but have you called the local Police Dept. and talked to them? You can call their non-emergency line and explain your situation and listen to what they suggest. Are you in school?? I'm trying to get this, want to help from all the way here in FL. LOL!!!

I felt trapped with my X before he filed for our divorce. I WISH I would have had some where to go, so I totally get your hardship there. I ended up on someone's couch for way too long and that certainly wasn't ideal.

Other than that, I like Ozboy's suggestion as well. Hee hee....... rabbit trap.

How about a roll of duct tape???
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Old 11-05-2009, 06:01 AM
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Bubba, everyone has given you some good suggestions, but the best was DO NOT DRINK, there is nothing a drink will make better, it will only make it worse and I think you know that.

Ozzy saves the day!!!!
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Old 11-05-2009, 07:19 AM
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Thanks for your share Bubba,

If you take that first drink, you will be back where you left off.
You are dealing with an *******. All assholes are insecure. They expect you to treat them like they are an *******. Do not ever treat them with kindness. Do not ever reward them. Do not ever get personel with them. You can tell who is an *******, watch their behavior. They are into gossip, and public humiliation.
Do not drink, one day at a time.
Best regards, Dan.
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Old 11-05-2009, 09:37 AM
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U can either do the cleaning or just ingore her.
Just do not drink!
Turn the headphone volume up, do not answer the door, take a walk, do anything else, but drink.
Stay strong.
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Old 11-05-2009, 09:43 AM
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Sorry for your troubles, TB. I never did like having roommates.
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