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Only hours in and feel horrible....

Old 11-02-2009, 01:56 PM
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Only hours in and feel horrible....

I am only 12 hours in from taking my last pill of dilaudid. The withdrawal is terrible and very frightening, never experienced these feelings of pain/anxiety before.
My family think I have the flu because I'm too ashamed to admit my addiction to pain killers.
If anyone has any helpful ideas to ease the sickness I would be really grateful
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Old 11-02-2009, 01:59 PM
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Welcome to SR. I see it is your first post.

I don't know anything about the painkillers, but have you consulted a doctor? It is pretty important to seek medical help for withdrawals. I'm sure there will be more people on, but I do think a doctor would be an important first step.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:04 PM
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Not to be taken as medical advise.... Opiate w drawals suck, but are not life threatening. If you don't have access to a dr., stay hydrated, you can get through it.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:09 PM
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Wishing you all the best, girl. You have made the right decision and you will find great support here.

Stick with it!
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:09 PM
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Yes, my dr suggested I go into a hospital to detox but that's not an option as I really am looking for discretion.
I have read many suggestions as to weaning off them but I don't think I have that kind of discipline.
I feel if I don't just do it cold turkey I won't be able to at all.

Thank you for taking the time to post, this is all new to me.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:11 PM
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I am really scared. This feels so horrible.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:55 PM
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:57 PM
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B - Is there anyone at all you can talk to or confide in besides here? This place is great, but if you're scared and are having withdrawals that are uncomfortable I wish you could get with someone that could help is all.
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Old 11-02-2009, 03:17 PM
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I am sending positive thoughts your way!
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:13 PM
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I called my daughter and she is coming to stay with me.
The feelings of shame are unbearable...but the worst feeling is the fear that I will take a pill.
I didn't throw them out because I'm afraid if the pain becomes too bad I'll have to cave and take one. I have exactly 63 left....I always know how many days worth I have before I need to worry about getting a new prescription.

My goal is to be able to flush them in the next day or two, depending on what I encounter with the detoxing process....
But then what if I have a mental 'break-down' and my mind wins the battle? I really don't know if I should flush them or not now?

Thanks to all who took the time to write - I had this fear inside of me saying that nobody would see my post or worse not care enough to write. I guess that says a lot about how insecure I am.
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:17 PM
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Oh B - We do care because we have all been there at some point. This is why SR is such a great place. We don't judge people. We do try to help.

I'm not sure what I would do if I was withdrawing from pills. I wish someone that had been through this would come on. My poison was alcohol - quite literally. I had to cold turkey it. I couldn't have weaned myself because I never would have been able to clean up, but that's my story.

Hang in there hon. It will get better. I am sending some prayers up for you. :ghug3
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:19 PM
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Glad your daughter is coming over. Does she know what you are trying to do?
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:22 PM
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Hi BC

If you won't go to hospital, thats your prerogative. I'm glad you have your daughter coming.

I really do urge you to see a Dr about your meds and your pain tho - we all need to be responsible to ourselves in recivery, and that includes responsible pain management.

You'll find a lot of support here too. We have some other forums here you can check out too

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Recovery and Pain Management - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:40 PM
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Welcome to SR

Detox is no fun. Stay hydrated, eat what you can (good stuff, not junk food), avoid caffeine/sodas/monsters etc, sleep when you can.

Taking a shower/bath every now and then makes you feel better, and gets rid of the sweat...

ETA I mean per day.

Take care, you'll get through this.
-TB
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Old 11-02-2009, 10:24 PM
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Originally Posted by beautifulbc View Post
I am only 12 hours in from taking my last pill of dilaudid. The withdrawal is terrible and very frightening, never experienced these feelings of pain/anxiety before.
My family think I have the flu because I'm too ashamed to admit my addiction to pain killers.
If anyone has any helpful ideas to ease the sickness I would be really grateful
I have detoxed from dilaudid a few times and it is no cake walk. I would just keep telling myself that I had the flu, because that is what it feels like. It would take me about five days to feel better and after 7 days I felt OK. You can do this if you want it bad enough. My only concern for you is that you still have a good supply of pills left. For me if I was in your shoes I would end up taking a few pills just to feel better. So give your pills to someone outside of your house and you will stand a better chance of getting through this. Don't give up and don't give in. There is really nothing that will ease the sickness. Advil for pain, decongestant for head, something for the diarrhea and drink a lot of liquids as this will help flush it out your system. You will have to go through what you have to go through to get on the other side of this problem. When you get to the other side just always remember what it was like to get off of this highly addictive drug Dilauid. Hope this helps. Good luck on your journey. Logo :praying
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Old 11-03-2009, 12:34 PM
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Thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers.

Logo - I am really grateful you posted. I have never come off of dilaudid before and really don't know what to expect...
Was a rough night last night. My body would seize and then shortness of breath. I took half a pill (2mg) at midnight so I could sleep. Really disappointed I couldn't make it through the night but I was truly scared. Don't have a tremendous 'craving' for the high (yet?) but am afraid that will come too and I'll end up caving.
I am giving my daughter the pills today and will keep a half again for tonight in case I "freak out" again.
I have been taking them since April 4mgs 6 - 8 times a day. They were prescribed for back pain and the rest is such a repetive rambling....

I have never experienced this whole encompassing pain before. The loss of body control is extremely scary and unnerving. My skin is on fire but freezing???
How long can I expect this to last?

I am so grateful to you all for posting, it has kept me from becoming completely unglued.
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Old 11-03-2009, 01:59 PM
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I just got off the phone with my dr and he is suggesting that I taper from 4 a day to 3 for 2 weeks, 3 to 2 for 2 weeks etc.
I don't want to 'lose' the last 36 hours...In that time I've only taken half a tab (2mg) and both times were at night to stop the jeks, anxiety attacks, seizures(?).
I really feel that if I can get through the next 24 hours the worst will be over - any experiences with coming off this is welcome.
My daughter just left with my pills, I felt panicky giving them to her and made her promise not to flush them. She's a strong girl though and I am confident she will not cave to requests from me to give them back.
God I am lucky to have her. I would always give in to my father and get his liquor out of "hiding".
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:50 PM
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Hi there, B...a fellow dilaudid addict here, wanted to check in & see how you're doing. I've tried to stop before and know exactly what you're feeling right now & it's pretty damn awful. It's good that you have your daughter on your side, though.

Be strong! I hope you can overcome this. I'll be thinking about you!
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Old 11-03-2009, 10:21 PM
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beautiful, i have quit opiates, pills, i know exactly what you are going through right now. i was prescribed oxy for 2 years strait. you can get off them.
i know you dont want to waste the time you have already spent, i totally understand. its up to you. all i can tell you is what i did.

i dosed myself down, just like your doc said. i went from 4 pills a day, down to 3, down to 2, down to 1, then none. doing it that way, i had no withdraws. it worked for me, im not saying it will work for everyone that way, but it works for me.

the pills are easier to quit than alcohol, but oh god, the withdraw is horrific. sweating, laying on the couch holding my stomach and crying. i remember the spinning knives. it feels like a ball of spinning knives cutting everything up in your stomach. its these kinds of withdraw that scared me about quitting drinking. just try to remember that its only temporary. mylanta and pepto stuff kinda helps, kinda dosent.
god im so sorry, this was 6 years ago, and i still remember the pain like it was yesterday. stay strong

its your decision, i would say that if you can make it and are half way there than keep going without them.

just please please dont do what i did. when i couldnt sleep after quitting the pills, i went to alcohol. dont replace one addiction for another. sober is the only way to go.
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Old 11-03-2009, 11:10 PM
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Actually opiate withdrawal can be life threatening. Everyones physiology is not the same, and what can be a cake walk for some , may kill another. Its best to see a doctor. Although I haven't known someone who died from detox, I do know someone whos died from the same drug I was taking but in a lot less of a dose. He was younger and healthier than me too. So you never know
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