Curious about this is all.
 

How many attended parties or events with alcohol in them when they were new to sobriety and remained sober? How much fun did you have? Was it worth it and would you do it again?

l did.
At first l thought it was all very boring.
Now l am glad that l won't be waking up the next morning feeling like most of the others at the party's will feel.
People do say l am not as much fun as l used to be... yeah.. right..so be it..
Wish you the best.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

hello there.im just coming up to 9 months sober.when i first got sober i stayed away from social events,but i went to an AA convention.when it came to the dance part i felt abit uncomfortable,like a square peg in a round hole! that was when i was only a couple of months sober.im in AA and have a sponsor and "officially" finished going through the steps with her about 2 and a half months ago.since then i dont go looking for wet places,but i have been to a couple of social occasions,a wedding,and a 21st birthday party (eek!) both had lots of drinking going on,but thats ok,its just not for me anymore and i dont obssess about it anymore.i danced alot at both events and honestly had a really really good time.there was one lady at the wedding that was a bit of a pest but i just stayed away from her,and when i got home and reviewed the situation i just felt compassion for her.it is possible to have a good time at drinking social events,but i think you have to be in a really good place at the time.the steps have helped to get me to that place. :) interesting thread.

Me, yes, none, depends.

I have three months and there have been four of these occasions so far. Two were house parties...they are the worst. People repeatedly trying to shove a drink at me, looking hurt, confused, insulted when I say no thanks. I had decided that I wasn't going to site driving, medications, etc as my reason. On one occasion I was at the next door neighbor's, so saying I have to drive wouldn't have worked anyway. I will either say I'm not drinking tonight or I don't drink, and wow people are rude, or thick, I dunno. I went home in tears from the first one. I was bored to death at both. Yuck. I would not do those again.

On two other occasions I have gone to a bar/restaurant for a friend's birthday and a bar to see my friend's bluegrass band play. These were things where the point of the evening isn't just to stand around and drink. It's still weird and akward to not drink, but I can order a soda or something and have a glass in my hand. The bluegrass band was last night, and it was awesome to hear them play, it's been a really long time. There were some drunk chicks dancing and it made me aware of how good it feels to be dancing and be sure on my feet.
:dance:

Not me!

I tried it, had one of the most miserable nights I've ever spent and I went out and drank the next day.

I stayed away from all of that for quite awhile after.

I tried it once or twice in the 3-6 month mark - it was all very boring for me.

The objective of most parties I've ever been to is to get wasted, which kinda leaves me destined to be bored now.

Truth be told I was also pretty embarrassingly self righteous at the time LOL so I probably annoyed some folks :scorebad

Probably why I haven't been invited again :lmao ...

and thats fine :)

why do you ask Horsie?
D

Just seems to be a common topic with Newbies. "Should I go or should i stay. If I go there may be trouble. . . " Sorry went off referencing a Kinks song I used to love.

Really I was just wondering about it is all. I stayed away from places with alcohol like they had the plague in the beginning of my recovery and I wondered if I was a wimp or something. I actually have a girls' movie night this Friday night and found out there will be alcohol there. I will go but I plan on leaving if it gets uncomfortable. Still not at ease with being around the stuff.

The day after I quit we went to a neighbors BBQ. They all drank...I didn't. I was worried about it....they didn't even blink....I did feel out of place, miserable, in fact (if I'm honest with myself). Would I do it again, no...it was a pretty easy thing to have missed...and not worth early sobriety.

I had to go to 2 large business functions and one huge family reunion during the first 3 months. All of these things centered on alcohol. Yet, I could not have missed these things. I wasn't thrilled to be there, but I wasn't miserable, if that makes sense. I'm glad I went as it gave me confidence that I CAN do this. I can be sober and enjoy life even MORE than I did before.

I think the key (for ME) is that I was determined not to drink. I guess my stubborness finally came in handy. :)

Edited to add: Just saw your last post. I do NOT think you are a wimp. If I even suspected that being around alcohol was going to bother me, I wouldn't go. I think I believe that more with my amount of sobriety, than I did in the early days. There is simply not one damn thing worth risking my sobriety over.

Horselover....did you see my edit? I think we're both talking at the same time.....:)

You know what Coffeenut? I think I remember that b-que you are talking about. Didn't you post about it. It couldn't have been easy. Any ways, cool that it all worked out.

I also have Thanksgiving coming up and my Mom is going to have us and her husband's daughter's family also. The daughter is the one that couldn't understand how I could attend parties and not drink. Isn't life boring now? Yup! That was her question. I will be around the stuff then too. The wine kind of gets to me. I'm not tempted to drink. I just get pissy, a/k/a sour mood. Hope that changes over time.

Edit: I agree with you Coffeenut. I also know there is nothing worth risking my sobriety over too. :)

Edit 2: This sentence is confusing "Isn't life boring now? Yup! That was her question." That "yup" was not as in yup life is boring. That "yup" was yup that was her question. Wanted to straighten that out. LOL!

I don't think you're a wimp either Horsie :hug:

I think it's good to strike that balance - not to be scared of doing things, but to always have a healthy respect for ones sobriety :)

have a great time!
D

In hindsite, that bbq was hell. I could taste the damn margaritas, and they even had my favorite beer...:)

Your thread is so fitting, I just got off the phone with my son. He referred 'Fun Bobby' from Friends...the character quit drinking and wasn't fun anymore. We had a long talk about how much friendlier to his liver he was. :)

Even if he doesn't 'get it' right now...I'm determinded to show him a sober adult in his life. Our entire family is (probably) mostly alcoholic. It's time to stop the madness...and if I have to be 'boring' for that to happen. So be it. It's time.

I'm only on day 15 and went to a Halloween party at a bar on Friday night. I would have skipped it, but it wasn't 'any old night'...a fundraiser for a sick friend. I was making excuses for myself if I drank, as I was getting into my costume at home, but I ended up being strong and only drank Sprite. It was crowded and I was catching up with old friends, so no one even noticed what I was drinking.

I only stayed till 10:30...I'm sure the fun was just getting started and I got some grief for leaving early, but I was ready. I figured the goal was to go and not drink...not set any kind of records for staying late or closing the place. Like coffeenut said...I wasn't thrilled, but I wasn't miserable. Sure was happy the next morning, tho! :)

"Even if he doesn't 'get it' right now...I'm determinded to show him a sober adult in his life. Our entire family is (probably) mostly alcoholic. It's time to stop the madness...and if I have to be 'boring' for that to happen. So be it. It's time."

OMG! That is exactly what I told my husband about my son. I don't want him growing up in it and I don't want him turning to it because that was the norm in his family. It ran in my family too and its what I knew. I want to stop the madness too. Thanks CN!

I have gone to events with me not drinking and each one was different..house parties..ugh, boring. Esp some of the ones where they play poker, which I do not. Do not mind Euchre but that wasnt being played. And playing that with drunk people is hell..omg..what was trump? who led?trump again? is that trump?

The bar wasnt bad...one bar has a band that I like..the singer is a cutie and sings his ass off and the other bar I like to dance with the girls and strangely enough I can dance without being drunk! Who knew? I always thought I had to be drunk to have fun dancing but what I discovered is that I sweat less therefore it is so much more enjoyable..im not a hot sweaty drunk mess like the rest of my friends who are out there shaking their butts thinking they are ohh so hot..when I know, cuz im the sober one, they are a complete mess! who are they kidding!? tee hee hee wink wink And Im sure we are all guilty of being that one drunk person on the dance floor that thinks they are just the ****..and actually, from a sober persons eyes, u cant dance to save ur life, ur eyeliner is on ur cheeck and ur lipstick on ur chin, ur hair is a mess and ur making some stupid faces..thinking its a sexy look..lmao..oh I dont miss that!

Another bonus..u r the one that remembers it all! haha ur the story keeper! that is a big bonus for me..i love telling people the next day what they did..as it has been done to me way to many times.

We hosted a Christmas party when I was at about 3 months, home from rehab about a month.

It freakin' sucked.... sorry, but it did. I felt so sorry for myself. We had already committed to having it, so we did... my wife's family. She felt bad about it.

Now, I am fine, the self pity is gone. We hosted a birthday party for my BIL in September, there was a moment or two, but, I had a great time.

So, for the first one, I stayed sober, it was awful... but it was my own self centeredness that made it that way, and yes, I did in fact do it again, but I was a year sober, working a good program, and it was all OK!!

Good thread.... I hope our newcomers find it helpful... Hey Guys... It's gonna be alright, just hang in there!!

Mark

It's a Clash song. :)


I was with friends who were drinking two days before I drank, I was 4 and half months sober. I didn't stay all night, I left when they were obviously being affected. I felt fine about it at the time but now I do think it played a part in my slip.
Luckily the slip only lasted a day and I am back on track.

:rotfxko
Nin's sexy tip for the day: Fierce high heels are great, much sexier if you can walk without falling down.

Clash - Kinks - Same thing, right? LOL!

That is the type of thing I was wondering about Stone. I appreciate you sharing that. Thanks a lot.

Same number of letters as well! lol