big book
 

I started reading the big book. Altough i'm not an alcoholic, I do have a very addictive personality, i can really really relate to what i've been reading so far

Self-knowledge will not suffice..

I always believed, the more I know about my own addiction personality, and addictive behaviour in general, I would be able to 'conquer' this disease.

It never worked.

God knows I tried every method there is, except for getting commited that is.

Nothing worked.

I've found online a 12-step workbook, so currently i'm taking my first step. My 'old' self still tells me every once in a while I don't need to do this, that I can beat this without the steps, but deep down I'm starting to realise i completely don't have any control watsoever.

day 3...had the worst of my detox...

Hey man yeah lots of good stuff in the big book... A famous passage I like is pg 86-88 Beginning from On Awakening... Just because Alcohol isn't your DOC doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to get something out of it... I'm pretty sure you said your DOC was pot... I know there is a fellowship for that Marijuana Anonymous - The Netherlands I have never been near a meeting, but I would defiantly check it out myself if I had the opportunity... I'm a hopeless pothead and alcoholic who has a daily reprieve from how I was living... XA-Speakers - The lights are on! is a talk I have listened to online my only connection with the MA fellowship... worth checking out... While a workbook would undoubtedly be good the 12 steps are intended to be worked with someone who has gone ahead before you...
Great to hear of this positive step man... Keep up the good work...

I'm glad you got through Day !

Reading the Big Book is a good idea. I'm not an AA person, but I know it was essential to my recovery to recognize the addict voice in my head, and to be able to dismiss it.

thanks for the XA link....There are no NA meeting near my city that I can combine with a job, and the local AA appareantly did not want me in cause i'm not an alcoholic (WTF!!!)...it will be very refreshing to listen to the story's of fellow addicts....

with all due respect,,,(WTF) ?? you have stated you are not an alcoholic.so why Alcoholics Anonymous? it dosnt make sense.i wish you well in your recovery though.and well done for taking action.im afraid that would be like me saying i would go to overeaters anonymous because they do a 12 step programme but im not an over eater,just a plain old alcoholic.do you get what im saying?

have you read the na basic text...........it talks alot about addiction.
you may find that "fits" better....

The book alcoholics anonymous talks alot about alcohol and alcoholism...

Step one talks partly about admitting powerlessness over alcohol .....how would you approach that?
apart from changing the text.......and if your going too do that why read a book for alcoholics?...

please read this as if im talking with you........not down to you as not intended..

CC, you know we are in the same boat when it comes to the pot thing. I have personally read both the Big Book and the NA Basic Text (numerous times in the case of the Basic Text) and really identify much more with the NA fellowship. I know is sucks not to have a face to face fellowship you can attend, but if you haven't, I'd definately encourage you to check out NA.

Now you may run into some folks who think "pot is a joke" because they have issues with "harder" drugs. F 'em!! We both share the same experience of being able to kick the "hard" stuff without many issues, but having pot rule our lives. You have to take from it what you need. I'm pretty sure you can find online meetings if you look. Not the same as being there, but better than nothing. The NA forum here is also quite active, I'm sure you can find some support there as well.

I also have a Step Study Guide, and even though I know it is not intended for solo use, found it to be quite helpful. Take whatever you need from whatever program you come across, as long as it helps you stay clean, it's all good. Just build on each day until not smoking becomes as much of a habbit as smoking is now. You can do this. Take care.

Do some folks think pot is a joke tyler?....
I have a friend whom was addicted to cannabis/skunk.

and it ruined his life....he still has paranoid episodes 18 months later.
sucked the life blood clean out of him.....
his life consisted of ......sofa.....smoke....bed.........sofa ......smoke ...bed.
for years..

opened my eyes to the nasty sh..t.

my daughters father started with pot at the age of 16,he died at the age of 32 from a herion overdose.im not saying pot leads on to stronger things very time but it did for him.when i go back to my hometown in england i often see one of his old friends wandering the streets,he is about 40 now,for the last 10 years he has wandered the streets suffering from pot induced physcosis,so no i dont take pot lightly.

I WAS angry at the AA here in my town, I know it's main focus is alcoholism, but the basics of addiction is all the same!!!
Currently I'm reading the big book, that's AA literature, but I recognize all the aspects of addiction that's in there....cravings, loss of control, feelings of desperation, trying everything there is to handle it 'normal' etc. etc. etc. and etc.

I guess i was just angry and dissapointed i can't have a 'real-life' group of fellow addicts whom I can share with...Maybe the clinic I applied to has something similar so i'll just wait and see.

I understand what you mean,
I don't know were to get this NA basic literature...ofcourse I otherwise would have ordered their book :)!!!!!!

I just now I truely can relate to feeling and being powerless, and so far reading the big book has helped me to get to day four so i am grateful and glad I did order it..

do you now were to get this basic NA text?? is there like an online version of it??

thanks for ur reply man,

I had phases like that...luckely they didn't last for years but mostly weeks...

It opened the door to XTC, speed, acid, shrooms, liquor etc. for me....doors that thank god are closed now for quite a while, still barricating them tough...

http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw...Webposting.pdf Here you go, the basic NA text online. Let me know how it is I am mostly an AA guy myself, but i'm sure i'll read it sometime... peace man...

Hey Coming Clean,
If you are reading the Big Book you are reading the only step guide you will ever need. Cocaine anonymous is a fellowship that uses the Big Book as the basis of its recovery program, so does overeaters anonymous. The program in that book is not just for alcoholics, it is universal. There is also all addicts anonymous which I believe is up in your country. He is CA:

Cocaine Anonymous - Local Area Phone Numbers and Web Links

Welcome to Cocaine Anonymous

Thank you very much....i will read it...this one is a lot bigger then then one I got (the original first version) :)...

axactly my thought.....thanks!