Scarygood
 

Good Morning! I'm headed into London for a yoga event soon, and today will be the first day I haven't been able to go to a meeting since I got sober. Today is day 6.

I'm not worried, I know that it will be fine and that today will be a good day. The reason that I am scared is a bit harder to explain.

Basically, I feel great. Yesterday I felt great, partly due to a really fantastic young person's meeting. And feeling this good scares me on some level. I feel like I have joined some sort of cult (NOT SAYING AA IS A CULT), or am replacing one habit (drinking), with another habit (going to meetings). With it comes a whole new vocabulary, and I am seeing alcoholics everywhere. It has totally changed my perspective in just a few short days.

I know that I have loads of work to do to fill this hole that I have been filling with booze. But feeling so good scared me, because I am afraid it will lure me back. I'm also afraid that I'm replacing one obsession with another. I've always been an addictive personality, and been really keen on things at first, only to get bored shortly.

Hopefully someone else on the board has been here. Any perspectives would be appreciated. Thanks and hugs.
:ghug2

From my own experience, the fear of change kept me drunk for a long time.
I had to trust the people here at SR when they told me I was doing the right thing, and I'm glad I did - they were right :)

and I'm not in AA but I've yet to hear of a meeting where they lock the doors ;)
D

I replaced drinking with an obsession for recovery, a strong urge to work out, and an addiction to a nightly bowl of low fat ice cream. So far, it's been a pretty good trade off for me.

:a122:

"and I'm not in AA but I've yet to hear of a meeting where they lock the doors
D"

I suggest you read 'Phoenix In A Bottle'. Interesting stories about AA meetings in there!

Thanks for your share. The first law of addiction states that if you pick up, you will end up where you left off. I can not pick up. I can not handle being a practicing alchoholic. I will go through life with optimism, hope and courage. I hope that all is well with you. Best regards. Dan.

Thanks everyone- on the train now and today I don't even mind the rain. On a different note, can anyone point me towards some good recovery books- not religious if possible though spiritual is okay. I want to keep on this path.

This is a good book :)

http://i557.photobucket.com/albums/s...ver_shadow.jpg

Best of luck in your new journey... someone told me early on--its not easy. But you are defiantly never going to regret not picking up... What your talking about happens to a lot of people getting really excited about recovery early on. It didn't happen to me... But its normal just know that you are not going to feel this way all the time.

Yeah I saw your post in the Book Club.

That's the book where the two authors claim they can drink responsibly again, Coolmummy...I think that's a very very dangerous thing to claim.

I think they might just have an axe to grind...and a few books to sell...I believe they also run a PR firm.

I'm not in AA either, but if I can judge it on the men and women I've met here, it passes muster for me :)

D

Ah to be on a train to London and to a yoga event. Get hooked on yoga. I'm only on Day 16, and still really in shock that I've come this far. At night when I've my typical end-o'day urges, periodically while cooking dinner, I kick off my slippers and do some poses; inverted L's against the wall, down dog, basic stuff, but yoga just does a lot I think to relieve those anxious moments. I too have what I think of as addictive personality, or impulse control problems...always have, whether it was pulling my hair out in my 20's or overeating...overdrinking. You'll have to channel some of it somewhere - hopefully to something that doesn't do the harm of alcohol. Best to you!

PS - my avatar is taken in the British Museum (from UK originally). Love that place . . !