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Old 10-30-2009, 04:19 AM
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Im new

hi just thought i would try a quick intro to me,
im trying to quit alch after drinking extreme amounts every night to go to sleep.
i know im an alcoholic, but i feel its different for me, i do not drink usually during the day, i used to have a beer or two after work, but i dont even do that anymore. i just used it because i couldnt sleep. but i guess the definition of an alchie is needing it right?

i had a co worker who recently got sober, and it showed me that just maybe i could do it too.

its been about 2 weeks, my plan has been to dose myself down slowly, in order to try to avoid any crazy withdraw symptoms. im very familiar with withdraw, i quit opiates before i started drinking, by dosing myself down, went through hell with those, but now i have a new hell with alch.

i have only been able to make it for 24 hours without drinking, ill stay up all night then finally sleep at 9 or 10 in the morning. im trying to make it 2 days sober, that is my next goal.

i have no info or experience about this, never been to any aa, dont know what to do, other than keep trying. i have read so much already on this site, and i already feel like a brother in arms. dependency sucks, but we can all help each other through it. already love you all

"im not living, im just killing time"
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:26 AM
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Welcom to SR. If I may make a suggestion, here is a Big Book you can download- Big Book AA | Self-HelpSoftware.com

In this book you will learn that not all alcoholics drink every day. One of the common denominators for us is that when we drink we cannot guarantee everytime that we will be in control of ourselves...

Give it a read, if you feel it doesn't apply after looking at it, by all means try another method.
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:35 AM
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Originally Posted by myxomatosis View Post

i know im an alcoholic, but i feel its different for me,
There's a term for that... Terminal Uniqueness.

I felt that it was different for me too.... I am told by nearly everyone, that they felt that their case was special too. You and I are not so different. Many nights I would drink myself to stupor just to go to sleep, or rather, pass out.

Welcome to SR!! It's a real good place to start. Steve suggested reading the Big Book, I second that. You can get an analog version, hard or paperback, at an AA meeting. You'll be amazed.

There are other paths, that work very well for some people here, I am sure you already know that if you've been lurking.

If detox is a concern, your doctor may be able to help. It's kind of hard to wean yourself.

Keep posting!! Good to see you here...

Mark
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:44 AM
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Hi again myxomatosis

Like I said on another thread, joining SR is a great move.

We're a wonderful community here - you'll find a lot of support and encouragement. There's a lot of people who've been exactly where you are - you're not alone

I know the no insurance thing etc...but I urge you to look at ways you can see a Dr.
Detox can be rough, and weaning yourself off rarely works in my experience.

D
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:46 AM
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Your experience sounds similar to mine in some ways. I kept trying and trying and trying.... I still am... only have 5 days but this feels different this time. For one thing I made it 5 days.
Keep on trying. You are doing this for yourself for the long term good. Don't give up trying.
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:23 AM
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Welcome to SR!! Glad to have you aboard.
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Old 10-30-2009, 07:33 AM
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Welcome to SR myxomatosis, every single alcoholic is unique, none of us drink the same amount, the same thing, at the same times etc. An alcoholic does not have to be some one who drinks wine living under a bridge, I am an alcoholic.

I am an alcoholic, I only had one DUI and that was 25 years or so before I quit drinking, I never was fired from a job for anything, I never spent a night in jail, I only wrecked one truck in 40 years. Yet the last 5 years I drank I never went a single day without drinking, I drank 6-8 every day driving home from work and then would spend the rest of the evening drinking alone in my garage.

M-F I never drank before 1 PM, the reason was I was working until 1 PM.

I was a functioning alcoholic for MANY years, but it was catching up with me in the end in all areas of my life, when I hit my bottom I was probably less then a year from losing my family, my job, my home, and my truck........... The house of cards were in a windstorm of my alcoholism and I was really having a heck of a time keeping it all together.

As several others have suggested read the book Alcoholics Anonymous, if you are an alcoholic you will be able to relate to a lot of what is said in there in regards to alcoholism.

FOR MOST normal folks , drinking means conviviality,
companionship and colorful imagination.
It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is
joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is
good.
I remember that well in the early days of my drinking.

It took a lot of years of drinking for me to relate fully to the following:

The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew
from society, from life itself. As we became subjects
of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It
thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought
out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship
and approval. Momentarily we did--then
would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face
the hideous Four Horsemen--Terror, Bewilderment,
Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this
page will understand!
Do some reading on alcoholism, it is a progressive disease, the longer an alcoholic drinks, the worse the disease gets, it never levels off, it ALWAYS gets worse with every drink!

I progressed in my disease slowly, it took me 35 years of drinking before I reached the point I was at the last 5 years of my drinking which is described described in my last quote from the Big Book.

My disease evolved slowly and I adapted as I needed to to maintain my drinking.
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Old 10-30-2009, 09:47 AM
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I had also wrongly convinced myself that getting drunk helped me sleep..nah, it helped me pass out.

Since I got sober, (and it took a while), I have never slept better in my life..
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:10 AM
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Welcome!! Like smacked, I thought I needed booze to sleep but I sleep much better sober. Exercise and a regular schedule also help, up at 530 am, walk 10 miles, work out at the gym, I am totally ready for sleep by 9 (some days I only make it til 8 haha).
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:59 AM
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I am new too...nothing unique about my wine addiction

I am new to recovery - day 2. I have had enough! It is hard to admit I am a wino and can't drink like a normal person anymore. I have gone as long as 15 days recently...generally I get my 1 bottle down every 3-4 days...except now I am up to 2 bottles in one night...every 3 days. It's a sick cycle...If I had $10,500 I would be checked into a 42 day recovery program.

Its was for me to drink - I work at home all day by myself, so I can drink without anyone bugging me.

I am a mother, a wife, a business owner and a fantastic high functioning alcoholic. I love that I think I can hide my wine in the garage, then throw out the empty bottle. No one will know...except me.

I don't know why I drink quite frankly. My mother was an alcholic before she died at 59. I really started to drink after she died, after my 1st marriage broke up, after I had a mental breakdown 8 years ago. Yikes, I have been a out of control drinker for 8 years. I didn't drink much in my twenties as I was to busy being pregnant, exercising and having fun with my kids. Hello 30's! what the hell happened?

I just want it to stop!:praying
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:02 PM
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thank you all for your replys, it means alot to me.

i will read the book like you said. what scares me is seeing my family members, and past 'friends' i had, just drinking themselves into oblivion, what scares me is someday needing to be drunk just to get through the day. i know its in my family, thats why i need to stop it now before it gets worse.

i guess i always thought that if i can quit it and just say no from now on that i wont ever touch it again, but thats not how it works right? its always going to be a battle.

your totally right girls, the drunk sleep is not sleep at all, in fact its gotten to the point where i sleep after i finally filtered my alch, cause my body needs the natural sleep and it needs to dream, in the past 6 months i have found myself sleeping a total of at least 12 hours a night.

i also have not had any dui (yet) or gotten any trouble really, i just know that it cannot continue, cause it will get worse. im hoping to get engaged to my longtime girlfriend soon, and that is another big push for me. she has never asked me to stop, or given me an ultimatum. i want to stop because she deserves better.

i really dont want to hit rock bottom, cant i quit before i do? preemptive to losing everything? i hope so.

any advice other than seeing a doc during detox? (i know i read the post on what it was like for everyone) i was considering taking 4 days off of work and dedicating those days for detox. i cant imagine trying to work though it. is that a good plan?

partydiva, keep trying, i will keep posting my efforts and progress, maybe we can get strength from each other, and everyone else
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:14 PM
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also sandpoint, dude im totally jealous of your 5 days. way to go! i can only get 1 so far.

im also wanting to sleep naturally again so bad, its just been so long for me, but i know its right around the corner. i know i need to keep that regular schedule too, ive never been regimented, but i can see how its necessary.

also does anyone know how i can see a doc or detox specialist without health insurance? other than defecting to canada?
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by myxomatosis View Post
...but thats not how it works right? its always going to be a battle.
Not at all. I haven't felt that battle for a long time. It ended when I surrendered and, instead of fighting, was shown a path to being recovered.

From 10th Step promises,
Originally Posted by AA Big Book, 1st Ed.
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:33 PM
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welcome to SR myxomatosis
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Old 10-30-2009, 03:04 PM
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Glad you're here, myx! I find SR really helpful..I hope you will, too.

Yeah, I was either going to bed drunk, so I'd fall right asleep, or tired from the night's before drinking so I'd fall right asleep. I'm only on day 13, but I'm sleeping so much better now. That wasn't even sleep. I've heard a lot of people here say they had trouble sleeping for a while after they quit, so try not to get discouraged...it gets better.

Hope to see more of you around these parts!
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:57 PM
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:12 PM
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You never sleep on booze, the same as you don't wake up. You come around which is different from awaking
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Old 10-30-2009, 07:50 PM
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Welcome!
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:26 PM
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Welcome to SR ...

To answer your qustion about de tox

You can call your local Salvation Army ...they have
excellent free de tox centers
You could go to a local AA meeting and ask
and....
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Routing Service available at
1-800-662-HELP
This service can provide you with information about treatment programs in your local community and allow you to speak with someone about alcohol problems

Glad to know you are planning to be both
sober and safe.....
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Old 10-31-2009, 03:50 AM
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thank you all for the welcomes, and thank you carol for that info, i really am green and new so i really dont know where to look for help.

god its almost 3 and im not tired at all. just want to sleep
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