Made a decision
Standing at my crossroads
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Oregon
Posts: 25
Made a decision
From the advice and replies I received, I've decided that the 12 step program that I need to work is for co-dependency. I have printed off the list of the 12 steps, but can anyone guide me to online resources or literature that explains or gives examples on how to really work each step?
I have also found a Newcomer's AA meeting that I is helping me see how alcohol has effective my life choices. I have to attend 6 meetings to complete the state requirements and out of all of them, this one has made an impact on me. It's has that feeling of attending a funeral but in a good way. More like a celebration of life. It reminds me of sitting around with my family, reminencing about the good times and reflecting on the bad, but without the drinking. Even though I haven't labeled myself an alcoholic, I do hear the similiarities in the stories. I think this will be a good meeting for me to continue attending.
Now I am starting to see the insanity in trying to do this on my own. I told my bf last night, I feel like screaming out "I need help" and I don't give a flying f*** who hears me just as long as someone does. So, if he's not ready to be outed and face any of his personal fears, he may need to remove himself from my environment because I am not holding back. That didn't mean I plan on blaming him or bad mouthing him, it means I can't accept help without being honest about myself and my relationships.
I feel like this is Step 1, but I also would like more guidance in truly understanding it and not passing over it to easily.
I have also found a Newcomer's AA meeting that I is helping me see how alcohol has effective my life choices. I have to attend 6 meetings to complete the state requirements and out of all of them, this one has made an impact on me. It's has that feeling of attending a funeral but in a good way. More like a celebration of life. It reminds me of sitting around with my family, reminencing about the good times and reflecting on the bad, but without the drinking. Even though I haven't labeled myself an alcoholic, I do hear the similiarities in the stories. I think this will be a good meeting for me to continue attending.
Now I am starting to see the insanity in trying to do this on my own. I told my bf last night, I feel like screaming out "I need help" and I don't give a flying f*** who hears me just as long as someone does. So, if he's not ready to be outed and face any of his personal fears, he may need to remove himself from my environment because I am not holding back. That didn't mean I plan on blaming him or bad mouthing him, it means I can't accept help without being honest about myself and my relationships.
I feel like this is Step 1, but I also would like more guidance in truly understanding it and not passing over it to easily.
on your decision. Sobriety is the only way to go. SR is a great place to be.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
I don't know much about 12 step programme but getting a sponsor will help with your questions tinkertrain 
I'm glad you're making some decisions to improve your life, and that you're reaching out.
D
I'm glad you're making some decisions to improve your life, and that you're reaching out.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi,
I am a recovering alcoholic of about 9 years, and only recently in the past year have become aware that I had/have huge codependency issues long before I began to drink. For me, the beginning meant creating boundaries for myself. I needed to decide what was acceptable to me in my life.
You'll find lots of good advice here.
I am a recovering alcoholic of about 9 years, and only recently in the past year have become aware that I had/have huge codependency issues long before I began to drink. For me, the beginning meant creating boundaries for myself. I needed to decide what was acceptable to me in my life.
You'll find lots of good advice here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
I'm not sure what you're talking about here when you talk about a 12 step program for co-dependency. If you're going to AA, however, that is where you learn how to work the steps. And you learn under the guidance of a sponsor - one who has been sober for a while and worked the steps themselves. You won't get much out of reading anything on line, and the best literature out there the Big Book. Stick with AA for a while and you'll begin to understand what recovery is all about.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21
in agreement
Originally Posted by 51anna 
Hi,
I am a recovering alcoholic of about 9 years, and only recently in the past year have become aware that I had/have huge codependency issues long before I began to drink. For me, the beginning meant creating boundaries for myself. I needed to decide what was acceptable to me in my life.
You'll find lots of good advice here.
I am a recovering alcoholic of about 9 years, and only recently in the past year have become aware that I had/have huge codependency issues long before I began to drink. For me, the beginning meant creating boundaries for myself. I needed to decide what was acceptable to me in my life.
You'll find lots of good advice here.
Standing at my crossroads
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Oregon
Posts: 25
Yes, I'm talking about CoDA. I bought a Melody Beatty book "Codependent Guide to Twelve Steps" and I found some online reading material from the R.A. website. In the newcomer's AA meeting they are always offering a copy of the Big Book, so I am going to pick one up at the next meeting.
Last night after reading as much as I could regarding Step One, I fell asleep in peace then woke up around 3 am. Of course that's the best time for me to obsess with my past and my future. But in the couple hours of being awake I did have a revelation. I don't call myself an alcoholic because right now the drinking I choose to do is manageable and I don't struggle with that at all. When I heard the stories of binge drinking for several months or years, I didn't relate to that concept. Until last night. A light bulb went off. I became out of control around 27 years old, after my divorce I took drinking to a new level and I can honestly say, I didn't find myself again until I was 39/40. OMG!!! Duh!!! Then after that I fell asleep again pretty easy.
I can't wait to get back to my reading and understanding of Step one again. I have 2 more state required AA meetings to attend, and I keep saying to myself, I hope I make the choice to go on my own.
Last night after reading as much as I could regarding Step One, I fell asleep in peace then woke up around 3 am. Of course that's the best time for me to obsess with my past and my future. But in the couple hours of being awake I did have a revelation. I don't call myself an alcoholic because right now the drinking I choose to do is manageable and I don't struggle with that at all. When I heard the stories of binge drinking for several months or years, I didn't relate to that concept. Until last night. A light bulb went off. I became out of control around 27 years old, after my divorce I took drinking to a new level and I can honestly say, I didn't find myself again until I was 39/40. OMG!!! Duh!!! Then after that I fell asleep again pretty easy.
I can't wait to get back to my reading and understanding of Step one again. I have 2 more state required AA meetings to attend, and I keep saying to myself, I hope I make the choice to go on my own.
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