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I need some help if you are willing.

Old 11-07-2009, 03:30 PM
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I have never been to a AA meeting and probably never will. For me the burdens of life are way to big for me to carry or try to handle it on my own. I myself would fail everytime if I tried the will power thing or whatever you want to call it. For me,being honest with myself and God is all I needed,so I choose to let God be God and gave up my mighty power which is pretty weak! I ask people to pray for me daily,as I do for them also. I had to pour out my Booze at the Feet of Jesus or I was gonna die! God is way bigger than any of my problems,so thats the road I had to take.
I support all who attend AA and know its a good program. I would do everything you could to attend the meetings. If you cannot make the meetings,I'm willing to bet that there are Great church House's near by that are willing to help. You know, the ones that teach the Big Book and people that do not judge others. If someone judges you and points a finger at you,maybe they need to realize they have 3 fingers pointing right back at them.
Get help and ask for help! If we don't reach out to someone,how can we get help?

Keep us posted!

Ron
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Old 11-07-2009, 04:13 PM
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Thanks Ron, I have been asking God for help for a VERY long time. I thought I had the faith needed for the Lord to help me. I have not seen the help that I expected. I have not given up. I still love the Lord and will continue to have faith. When I am finally cured I will give all of the thanks and glory to our Lord. I have prayed and prayed and continue to do so. I cannot figure out why God will not just control my urges. I have asked Him and asked Him to please just take control of my thoughts and get rid of my urges.
I will continue to pray and seek a cure for my weakness.
Thanks for your post.
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Old 11-07-2009, 04:14 PM
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By the way Ron. What are you holding in your avatar?
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Old 11-07-2009, 04:50 PM
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Jason! That is a Cat Fishy,lol. Just as I have free will to go fishing,God gives us free will to go about our own business and do whatever. God will let us go thru the tough times for reasons. The things we do that God told us over and over not to do,are gonna leave deep scars to remind us daily why we should not want to return to that way of living. Without the scars of the Hellish Detox pain and suffering,I would more than likely fall right back into the things that only brought me pain. The enemy will never ever leave you alone,because you are seeking what God has for you. The Enemy never bothers with the people who are on the road to destruction,he has them right where he wants them. The shear fact that you and everyone that turns to God for help and healing,only angers the enemy and temptations will flood our lives.
Tough times will come,so that your faith will be proved Genuine and you will walk out of the fire! My life is not easy by any means,but being sober is worth it. Or I could just sit back and drink my life away,not achieving anything and awaiting the day my family would have to bury me drunk with a broken spirit.
Keep up the good fight because the victory is ours Jason.

Pray for our Troops and those who lost loved ones in Ft. Hood.
Pray for our Troops all over the world,that are willing to give up thier lives,so we might have freedom!

Do not worry about tomorrow,because today has enough troubles of it's own!

Ron
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Old 11-08-2009, 06:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Jason R View Post
So, I got up and went to a counter where they serve food. I found out I was in the wrong room.
LOL Jason, I've been pointed to the wrong room. Although I attend AA also, NA is my main fellowship. As a 46-year-old woman who attends meeting after work in her "office attire," I have had a couple of times when I've been directed (by fellow addicts!) to the "church function" and I've had to tell someone, "No, I'm an addict. I'm hear for the NA meeting."

Now, that I got that out of the way: :ghug3 CONGRATULATIONS! Jason = 1, Alcohol = 0

They then asked if there was anyone that had 1-30 days of sobriety. I gave my name and told them that I hadn't had a day of sobriety yet.
This is huge! With 20+ people in the room, you probably could have gotten away with not opening your mouth. But, you CHOSE to speak.
Jason = 2, Alcohol = 0

When they were done reading they asked that everyone say something about themselves but told me if I didn't want to that's fine. I chose to tell them about me.
Man, you were on a roll! Jason = 3, Alcohol = 0

After everyone was done we all stood up and recited the Lords prayer (Which I thought was strange because they told me don't refer to God as God.
I don't believe that all AA groups end with the Lord's Prayer. Mine does. I've heard that it's customary for those who do not subscribe to the prayer to join hands and to remain silent. In our group, people feel comfortable simply leaving before the Lord's prayer. Although everyone is entitled to their own concept of a HP/God, the program does not deny the existance of a HP referenced as God. Some a- or non-traditional theists can't get past this. Personally, I believe that those who have a fairly traditional conception of God have an easier time in AA in the beginning. However, the avowed atheist can find a home in AA as well.

While I was leaving one gentlemen said it was nice meeting me. I expected a bit more guidance and what I should do next but didn't get any of that.
I'm glad that someone came up and personally welcomed you, Jason. What I have found, especially in the beginning, is that you will be given only as much direction as you request. If you simply want to attend meetings for five years, no one will prevent you from doing so nor will anyone tell you that you have to do anything else. Even the twelve steps and getting a sponsor are suggestions. They are suggested because they have worked for others. However, the only thing that is required for membership is a desire to stop drinking. The fact that you went, looking for direction: Jason = 4, Alcohol = 0

If you want, at your next meeting, indicate that you would like to speak to someone after the meeting or that you would like to have some phone numbers to call people during the week to speak to them. That's something that, I've found that AA doesn't do as readily as NA in my area. No newcomer leaves an NA meeting without being given a meeting list on which every person of his/her gender has written his/her phone number for the newcomer to contact.

I think next time I'll look for a different meeting. This was a smoking meeting also.
I assume that's because there are so few smoking meetings around any more. It's absolutely wonderful that you're anticipating your next meeting already. Jason = 5, Alcohol = 0


Jason, it sounds as though it was a winner of an evening. When I was first attending meetings, I thought, "You've got to be kidding me. They read the same stuff at every meeting to introduce the meeting? What good is that going to do me? The same stuff over and over." Well, they've been doing it for something like 70 years and it's been working for them. After almost a year of going to meetings, I've come to find out that it does work. I can't tell you why getting together with a bunch of fellow drunks/addicts several times a week and listening to the same readings meeting after meeting helps me to have the kind of sanity that helps me to stay sober, but it does. I guess that it doesn't matter why it works. It only matters that it does work.

One more time, CONGRATULATIONS on your first meeting, Jason. You've taken a huge step. The secret now is to keep stepping forward.
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Old 11-08-2009, 06:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Jason R View Post
I cannot figure out why God will not just control my urges. I have asked Him and asked Him to please just take control of my thoughts and get rid of my urges.
Jason, you are singing my song. It's very confusing, isn't it? I can't figure out why, after twenty years of not drinking, not drugging, raising my family as a Christian wife and mother, that I mistakenly became addicted to opiates in response to trying to treat anxiety with them. It was so bewildering. Then, I turned to God to get me out of the trouble and I couldn't get past the insanity that came when I tried to quit. Because of my faith, I would never consider killing myself. But, the addiction had robbed me of that sanity. Most people can't understand that. However, I find that I don't need to explain it on these boards. Those who post here, not only understand, they've lived it.

For those who are Christians, we understand that Christ did not save us as individuals. He saved us as a people (remember that he established a church in Matthew 16, a group of people against whom the gates of hell would not prevail). In fact, after His death and resurrection, His followers continued to meet together and their numbers grew daily. I believe that in the same way, God has given us a fellowship in which we can become and remain sober.

I don't deny that there are a precious few who can get and remain sober on their own. Some only appear to be doing it. I thought that I was doing it for almost eighteen years. Today, I see other areas of my life where my addictive thinking was still in full force during that time. Eventually, my addiction reared its ugly head. It was so cunning that I didn't see what was happening. I found myself in the grips of an obsession that was worse than anything I had ever known before (I'm the dictionary definition of the progressive nature of this disease).

Could I do this alone today? No way, no how!
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Old 11-08-2009, 12:29 PM
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I actualy registerd as a member becasue of this thread, everyone seems so helpful.

I have attended 2 AA meetings thus far and found them to be fantastic. Full of support, info, and just about everything I feel I need. The only problem is I feel anxiety over speaking. I am currently involved in some legal problems, not my first time, and not surprising since I am an alcoholic. I want to be honest at the meetings but I don't want it to seem like I'm there to make myself "look good" in the eyes of the judges, prosecuters, etc. I am there to get help and feel that I have already come to terms with the first Three Steps, it only happens to be becasue of my current situation that I was brought to me knees and forced to face myself (FYI: really starting to hate self-reflection). Has anyone else faced this?
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Old 11-08-2009, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by RockHound View Post
I actualy registerd as a member becasue of this thread, everyone seems so helpful.
Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 11-08-2009, 03:06 PM
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Welcome rockhound

Yeah this is a great place
Good to have you onboard.

Feel free to start your own thread to introduce yourself too
D
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Old 11-08-2009, 03:34 PM
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Haha, good call Dee74. Didn't mean to de-rail the post strings. and thanks for the Welcomes.
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Old 11-08-2009, 04:01 PM
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RockHound, You are welcome to hijack my threads anytime you choose.
What is a Rockhound anyway?
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Old 11-08-2009, 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted by OzSandy View Post
I've seen people at church suffering depression issues, trying to battle it out on their own, rather than getting appropriate medical help, it's not a good way to go.
And some of us are able to hide our pain really well and we feel grateful that we can because we're ashamed to let anyone know that we're suffering with things such as depression or addiction. That's one reason that AA/NA is playing such a crucial role in my recovery. I'm much more comfortable sharing with those who know the pain and the shame that this disease inflicts. As the months go by, I'm gradually (okay... slowly) growing in self-acceptance.

Hey, RockHound! Welcome to SR and to this thread. As a new AA attendee, you may identify especially well with what Jason posts here. Hopefully, you will find a lot of encouragement.

So, Jason... No drinking the day before yesterday? How did yesterday go? What do you have in the works for another meeting? (And how well have you stayed away from the refrigerator )? Hopefully this last paragraph doesn't come off like an interrogation. I'm just wondering about how you're doing. As I posted earlier, it helped me to be accountable on the forum.
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by christin1225 View Post

So, Jason... No drinking the day before yesterday? How did yesterday go? What do you have in the works for another meeting? (And how well have you stayed away from the refrigerator )? Hopefully this last paragraph doesn't come off like an interrogation. I'm just wondering about how you're doing. As I posted earlier, it helped me to be accountable on the forum.
Doing ok. I haven't made another meeting. Really don't know if I'll be able to make one within the next few day as I am working and going to school from morning until late night (that'll keep me off the alcohol though). Doing fair as far as the drinking. I was I was hanging with a friend yesterday and had a two beers.
As far as the eating a bit better yesterday.
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Old 11-20-2009, 03:52 PM
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Just an update. Haven't made another meeting yet but haven't anything to drink since my last post. I guess that's good. I feel fairly well. Headaches are getting a bit out of control and I'm pretty cranky but I guess it'll pass.
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Old 11-20-2009, 09:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Jason R View Post
haven't anything to drink since my last post.


I'm pretty cranky but I guess it'll pass.
... without meetings? It's less likely to pass.
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Old 12-31-2009, 07:07 AM
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Just another update. Went a different meeting a while back but was just not comfortable there. I haven't been back to another one since. I did get a small info packet and a few phone numbers that I have yet to call.
So far I'm still doing good. Dropped ten pounds and feel better. I hope all is well with all of you.
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Old 12-31-2009, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Jason R View Post
So far I'm still doing good.
I'm very glad to hear this, Jason. I hope that you continue to be successful and that, eventually, you find a meeting where you feel at home.
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Old 01-01-2010, 04:58 AM
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welcome jason and congrats on searching for your first meeting. you will find alot of supportive, open and honest people in AA. i am also discovering alot of laughter in the rooms of AA too. I'm new to recovery, 32 days sober and am grateful everyday.

peace and blessings to you.
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:22 AM
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Another update.
Still haven't been to another meeting.
Have been good since November. Out of nowhere I had 2 beers last night. Not even sure why I did it. It was encouraging that I was able to stop after two though. Disappointed that I drank last night but encouraged that I was able to keep it at a small about and didn't have the urge to keep drinking. I definitely won't use it as an excuse to convince myself that I am fine and can occasionally drink though.
Back to day one.
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Old 03-15-2010, 04:40 PM
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Welcome back Jason.
The inevitable question - are you planning to do anything different this time?

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