beautifulbc

It means only "admitted addicts" attend. Open discussion allows anyone; family, friends etc
I haven't gone to a meeting (yet) so can't give you any more info on this...

Good luck today

Tazman53

I agree with beautifulbc, but will add this. One never has to say "Hi I am Martin and I am an alcoholic." If you feel that you are an alcoholic then a closed meeting is probably the best type of meeting to go to for a newcomer, of course Newcomer meetings are great for a newcomer as well as a speakers meeting.

Jason R

Well, I did it. I went to my first meeting. It wasn't what I expected. I pulled into the parking lot and followed a couple of guys in. Upon entering I saw a bunch of tables with people sitting around them talking. I had thought this was where the meeting was. I couldn't see anyone that was obviously directing it. So, I got up and went to a counter where they serve food. I found out I was in the wrong room. I went into the correct room where the two men I followed into the building were sitting. I introduced myself and was told to have a seat. To begin with there were only three of us. At pretty much dead on 1:30 about 20 more people came in. A person stood up and introduced herself and proceeded to read from a book. They then asked if there was anyone that had 1-30 days of sobriety. I gave my name and told them that I hadn't had a day of sobriety yet. They all responded "Hi and welcome Jason" After the serenity prayer each of the tables broke up individually. I had originally thought that there would be a specific table where you would sit depending on your sobriety success. It didn't appear to be the case. There were eight people at my table. Everyone but me took turns reading out of a little yellow 12 steps pamphlet. When they were done reading they asked that everyone say something about themselves but told me if I didn't want to that's fine. I chose to tell them about me. After everyone was done we all stood up and recited the Lords prayer (Which I thought was strange because they told me don't refer to God as God. Refer to him as "A Higher Power"). After that everybody just walked away and left. I thought to myself "I guess we're done?" While I was leaving one gentlemen said it was nice meeting me. I expected a bit more guidance and what I should do next but didn't get any of that. I think next time I'll look for a different meeting. This was a smoking meeting also. I knew upon going that it was smoking but figured I'd just deal with it. Well, I literally think every person in that building was smoking. Too much for me. I have been home for an hour and still am sneezing and coughing.

Payton

Congrats on going to a meeting - that is awesome!!!!!

:ghug3

dojoro

You went...great! That is such a huge first step and you did it. My meeting was completely different so you are definitely right about finding a different one. A few people on here had mentioned that before I had even gone to one..."shop around" if you will.

I had to laugh about you being in the wrong meeting at first because that was one of my fears. The other was being part of a small group like you said it was when you first arrived...so not only did you get the nerve to go but you faced two of my biggest fears. Thanks! I'll thank you even more when after all that you find a different meeting one which will most likely be perfect for you. Hope your sober and haven't chewed the doors off!

have a good night.

Jo

beautifulbc

That's really awesome Jason!
You must feel a great sense of accomplishment - wow!

Even though it wasn't what you had hoped/imagined did you feel relieved/confident(??) just being there?
I have yet to get a meeting in...I live in a really small town that I grew up in, raised my kids, volunteer etc. and I haven't mustered up the courage yet.
But I'm so happy for you that you did!!

Jason R

Thanks Payton and Jo. Thanks for the encouragement.
Jo, I'm glad I could make you laugh. I'll definitely make another attempt at a different meeting. Also because I took a shower and can still smell smoke. Wow, did that mess up my sinuses. No worries. I'm sober now. Actually surprising considering that my wife is gone until Sunday and I am completely alone. I think what is keeping me straight is that I have a 14 year old blind/deaf Beagle that is keeping me busy. I try to sit down and she starts barking again.

vegibean

YAY!!!!! So glad you made it Jason.

Jason R

bbc- If I may be honest. It was half and half. I was actually surprised I had the guts to actually go in (I did consider leaving). Confident? No. Because I'm going to half to do it again at a different meeting. Relieved? Yes and no. I was seriously just plain uncomfortable going. Am I happy I went? YES!

barb dwyer

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

Yep - now it's just a matter of finding the meeting for you.

It is in the asking that we are gifted. So next time, ask what to do next if that hits ya to do.

yay yayay!

Was that the closed meeting?

dojoro

My husband is gone too. It is really hard...I usually had a big ol patrty for one whenever he left..no guilt what so ever, no questions no one to even see the amount I could drink. This is gonna be tough...already missing my party for one.

deaf/blind beagle that is funny. I am actually laughing outloud...sorry it isn't funny but I hope you don't have steps in your house and how exactly do you feed him or her? I have these funny pictures going around my head. Gosh I am being mean...I am sorry but wow! I have 3 boys under 5 so I have a good idea of the distractions but they are about to go to bed and then...well just me and my white knuckles.

Jo

Jason R

If I did this correctly. This is Blind Dog Katie (sounds like and old blues singer)
Water - Have to put water in my hand so she knows it's there and slowly guide her to her bowl.
Food - I stick the bowl in front of her face and she does a pretty good job at finding it.
Outside - She get's this panicking sound to her bark that tells me she has to go outside.

barb dwyer

I used to groom dogs.

I had a blind/deaf elderly customer.

She actually got around fairly well.

Jason R

Yes it was a closed meeting. I felt uncomfortable asking anything. The way the meeting went, It seemed that no one should say anything except the next person speaking after the prior one is done. I didn't feel I had a chance to say anything and certainly didn't want to be inconsiderate of others. I guess I just didn't know what to do.

anono

sounds like a good plan, maybe try an ID meeting where people share their stories, or a beginners meeting, i remember going to one like that at the start, and thinking wow... is that it??

but have found that to be the only one like it, rest i have been to are friendly, social, and no smoking allowed in any buildings.. (though your not even allowed to smoke in pubs or nightclubs over here!, let alone churches!!.) we begin with a small reading from the book, 'usually how it works' and read the serenity prayer at the end

kate

dojoro

She looks like a big cuddler! so cute. For a blind dog she sure does a good job looking at the camera. I bet she knows what your going through. Especially since she is blind and deaf she probably senses your anguish and pain. Dogs are so smart...talk to her when it gets tough I bet she hears you.

Jo

Jason R

Thank you.

barb dwyer

Yeah, that's the usual courtesy. Another thing to think about is - this group could have been 'together' for a while now, and sometimes, they get into this ...'greet the newcomer, I thought YOU greeted the newcomer' kind of thing.

Although I go to several different types of meetings here in town, and most of these meetings have the very same people who are in the OTHER meetings (the town just ain't that big) the energy or 'flavor' of each meeting is different.

Definitely shop around,
I think you'd benefit from an *open* meeting,
but the size of that one sounds about right.

Go to as many as you can find!

Also - just thought I'd mention ,
the 'closed' meetrings I have attended
tend to be ... well, more *intense*
than an open meeting.

It's got a more 'let's quit the crap and get to work' energy about them.

hell, I'm still just psyched you WENT!!!

Jason R

Holy Crap. I quit drinking for a day and all I am doing is eating. I'm going to get huge. I generally don't eat too much. Maybe I'll leave and go work on my boat for a while.
Have a Nice Day!

dojoro

Totally get it. I quit two days before Halloween and next thing I knew I had 3 bags full of Halloween candy which I wouldn't let my boys eat. I ate every mini KitKat, reeses, snickers, baby ruth, 1000 grand, butterfinger and crunch bar I could find. I felt like I was replacing my wine drinking habit with candy bars. Not so good...especially since I am diabetic! It has since faded but I can tell you if I am hungry the cravings get worse and if I let myself get to starving they are almost unbearable. So I think by eating you are actually helping yourself not hurting. Think of all the calories you are saving by not drinking...eat what you want and enjoy it but don't drink today...just today...one little day

Jo