SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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-   Newcomers to Recovery (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/)
-   -   Apparently, practicing shaking hands... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/187145-apparently-practicing-shaking-hands.html)

TheCuriousGent 10-26-2009 02:54 AM

Apparently, practicing shaking hands...
 
..isn't the only thing I can't do by myself :headbange

I'm not really sure how to start.. erm, my introduction? Atleast, I think that's what I'm trying to do; introduce myself and see if I can get some help *nods*
I suppose I'll just kinda explain the situation, tell you good folks a bit about myself, then pretty much just see what happens. So.. yeah... anyway, the reason I go by the Curious Gentleman is because one time someone asked me to define my core values, and the first three were: "Knowledge; never stop learning", "Dignity; always treat people with respect", and "Chivalry; upholding romanticism and the ways of a gentleman".

Once a friend told me: "If something gets to the point it keeps me up at night, I remove whatever it is from the equation." My addiction and my weakness has done this countless times, in addition to allowing me to waver from my commitment to my core values, so I've finally decided to eliminate addiction from my life.

My dad used to talk about how he'd blow the rent money on coke, then he'd come down and do it again to snuff the feelings of guilt and shame. Everyone always thought he was making excuses, but either way, I know how he feels.

I adore music of almost all kind. I always have. Listening to good music is the only thing that could ever put me in a good place emotionally other than my former drug of choice. My recipe for a good mood: Hot Shower (while listening to music), then hot coffee and a smoke while listening to more good tunes.

I'm clinicly a Schizophrenic individual with Sociopathic Tendencies. I tend to hate myself, but think I'm better than everyone. I feel guilt and remorse but have no qualms about hurting someone I don't know for superficial personal gain. I dislike this about myself, so I'm going to try and think of myself as a good person from now on *nods*

Monday, October 19th of 2009 was the end of my 2 year addiction to Hydrocodone. Atleast I keep telling myself that, but I know deep down that I am truly powerless against my addiction. I googled "Life After Addiction", found Sober Recovery, thought you fine folks were pretty cool, so I decided to reach out.

*is listening to "Help" by The Beatles*


Thanks for Reading, guys

The Gent

bohemianzen 10-26-2009 03:10 AM

<<<stretches out hand to shake
welcome gent! you are right-there are lots of cool people here at sr. and you've come to the right place for support. congrats on your sobriety date--dig in your heels and hang on for the ride. and don't forget you got sr in the back seat to yak at anytime you wish.
:hug: bo

TheCuriousGent 10-26-2009 03:27 AM

*shakes hands with a smile*

Oh mate, any doubts or hesitations I had about SR were eliminated, if for no other reason than your name is "Bohemian Zen" and you have a Hemingway quote in your siggy :biggthump

Now if someone quoted Voltaire I'd feel right at home! Haha xD

watsonc 10-26-2009 03:55 AM

Welcome! I'm new here also, Day 10 today, a large hurdle to get into double digits. A bit like running 10 miles the first time (and last for me apparently as I injured myself!). I'm curious - do you have a mental health clinician you see regularly as well given your clinical diagnosis? I do know that numerous mental health disorders have co-occurring disorders with them. Typically addiction. Hope that you stick around. This site has been a savior for me these last days as I come to terms with who I am, what I need to be, and how to get there. Some great people with great kindness and support.

Dee74 10-26-2009 04:04 AM

Welcome Curious Gent
You'll find a lot of help and support here - some enouragement too :)
I'm sure we'll see each other around a bit :)

Feel free to have a look at our substance abuse forum as well
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

vegibean 10-26-2009 04:15 AM

Hey there!! Welcome to SR, you did happen to find a great place here. Hope you'll stick around and keep reading AND posting!! :)

Sikkisirus 10-26-2009 05:49 AM

Welcome to SR. I love your avatar :a122:

xenodamus 10-26-2009 05:55 AM

:welcome

Good to have you aboard! If nothing else, I've found there to be an endless supply of reading here to keep me from getting my work done :)

mirage 10-26-2009 06:34 AM

Glad you found SR, Gent! I stumbled upon it last month, and I've found it and the people here really helpful..hopefully you will, too. Congrats on your days clean! Keep comin back! :c031:

Anna 10-26-2009 06:44 AM

Welcome!

You'll find lots of support here.

TheSunAlsoRises 10-26-2009 06:48 AM

Welcome, yeah its funny you bring that up i'm re-reading A Farewell To Arms... Welcome to a better life. There is lots of support here...

littlefish 10-26-2009 06:59 AM

Welcome! I have a brother with clinically diagnosed paranoid Schizophrenia and he is lost, mixed up and is a chronic alcoholic. No hope in sight for him.
I feel a lot of hope reading your post.
Keep coming back: I would like to get to know you....

thirtybubba 10-26-2009 08:32 AM

Welcome to SR... :wavey:

I'd put a Voltaire quote, but I decided a while ago to keep my signature line on a case-by-case basis...


And I'm too tired to say much more than

Good Morning!

Take care,
-TB, groggy again on a Monday morning...sober

Wolfchild 10-26-2009 09:03 AM

:welcome

TheCuriousGent 10-26-2009 12:11 PM

Watson: Aye, indeed. I go to my primary caregiver every 4-6 weeks and take Seroquel regularly. I've tried a few recovery places, and this is the only one I've ever felt comfortable with. I'm actually even considering going to a local NA meeting :biggthump

SikkiSirus: Thanks, mate =D I tried to find something that personifies my usual stressed-out, coffee and marlboro morning self :lmao:

Xenodamus: Haha! Indeed! One can never have too much material to procrastinate with :D

LittleFish: I'm glad that I could share a bit of my wide eyed optimism =D Anything you'd ever want to know, just ask away! I'm pretty much an open book =3

Lionne 10-26-2009 12:51 PM

Welcome Gent! You will find a lot of support here!
I can relate to this:

Listening to good music is the only thing that could ever put me in a good place emotionally other than my former drug of choice.
And for me, in the end, listening to music was the only thing. Strangely enough, when I went to concerts, I always managed not to get wasted, because I didn't want to miss out on the experience.
But I have also to admit that listening to some songs proved to be triggering, so I had to refrain from listenig to them for a while. Probably because they were connected to some drinking experiences

Take care and have a good day, S.

Asta1 10-26-2009 01:03 PM

If the 19th was the end, then you have just a about a week in the can. Congratulations! I myself am on day 10 but it seems like a WHOLE lot longer. I have found this site very helpful in keeping my memory fresh on the agony of overdoing my DOC, alcohol. I read the posts frequently, at least once or twice a day. It seems there are a lot of great people here. I hope you stay. I care.

Charmie 10-26-2009 01:13 PM

welcome to sr,some great folk with plenty of words of wisdom and encouragement to be found here.i am glad to meet you.keep coming back.

joedris 10-26-2009 01:38 PM

Ah, at least one thing I can relate to : You're actually even concidering going to a local NA meeting. This might just bolster two of your core values: Knowledge, never stop learning (especially about addiction and recovery), and Dignity, perhaps you could begin to treat yourself with respect. I doubt a Curious Gentleman woiuld have a lot of self respect knowing he was an addict. That sounds like a good start on the road to recovery.

tigers13 10-26-2009 02:04 PM

Welcome Gent...The first thing I recommend to you being here, is to read, read, read...then read somemore. I think you'll see you're not the only one in your position, then start posting until your fingers are ready to fall off if it helps you. This will probably be the best decision you will ever make in your life...getting clean. Way to go on the clean time, you're off to a great start!!! :c011:


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