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Old 10-27-2009, 01:57 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by baldjim View Post

muppet lol

my partner did in fact go out with my 19 year old daughter for a while till my ex partner

got so drunk doing the splits and putting her leg up on the bar etc

my daughter went off with her own friends leaving my EX partner to drink with her own friend


i have not been john wayne bobbeted and am at my place

its sad after 14 years but now have stopped drinking i am not the person i was ,not better just not the same for the first time ever in my life i matter ,probably as i dont use booze as an escape from my problems and i'm stuck inside this big bald chrome dome seeing clearly for the first time ever what goes on around me

i may of come across as a "cry baby" but believe me i have some real 10 out of 10 horrors going on and the urge to escape for a while into a bottle is oh so very real and scarey.... i really dont need to be around drunks or drunken behavior at all ,for my sake and my daughters sake
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Old 10-27-2009, 02:14 AM
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My girlfriend get's smashed like that about once a month....at first I just accepted it without saying anything, then I got annoyed without saying anything about it, then I started to make mean comments about it, downgrading her, that made me feel like a bad person...

so i told her a few days ago that I find her simply put.....annoying when she's that drunk...
told her I find it is disrespectful towards herself, drewling, puking, falling over.....told her that I DO love her, but when she get's that drunk she just has to stay away a bit from me..cause I like her for the woman she is, not this humanoid monky-like substitute of her...

I would proberly brake up with her If she would do this every friday and saturday..
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Old 10-27-2009, 03:48 AM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Jim, not sure what to say really except if this right now is not a threat to your own sobriety then it all boils down to is your love for her enough to where on occassion you can accept this or not?

My wife had a drink last week when we were out to dinner, no big deal at all, I have not seen her smashed in probably 10 years, but I was still drinking them so I really did not care about it. She does not keep booze in the house, but as little as she drinks it would be a waste of time any how.

If she got really smashed how would I react? Heck I do not know, probably just move on, now if she started to get smashed all the time perhaps we would have a talk, but to be honest I doubt very seriously that would happen, we have been together for 18 years and in that time she may have drank as much as what I used to drink in a month! LOL
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Old 10-27-2009, 03:53 AM
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Thats not all that bad Jim! I went out with a scottish girl who when we went out on the **** would pee in the street when the occasion arose, my sponsor says 'normal' women don't do that, something to keep an eye out for
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Old 10-27-2009, 04:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Jim, not sure what to say really except if this right now is not a threat to your own sobriety then it all boils down to is your love for her enough to where on occassion you can accept this or not?

My wife had a drink last week when we were out to dinner, no big deal at all, I have not seen her smashed in probably 10 years, but I was still drinking them so I really did not care about it. She does not keep booze in the house, but as little as she drinks it would be a waste of time any how.

If she got really smashed how would I react? Heck I do not know, probably just move on, now if she started to get smashed all the time perhaps we would have a talk, but to be honest I doubt very seriously that would happen, we have been together for 18 years and in that time she may have drank as much as what I used to drink in a month! LOL
i dont think she realised what a problem drinking was for me ,my sister and brother,my mother and grandfather are/where proper alkies,i used to resist the urge to drink a lot but even though i told her wine in the fridge and jack d in the cupbord was bad for me it made me feel like drinking ,she refused to get rid off,and you guys know once yousee that bottle of wine or jack d in the morning those lets get smashed thoughts are in your head all day ...well in my case they are
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:00 AM
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Mornin' baldjim..reading your last past about your family made me think (I've from the UK too originally) how many Americans I know who are confused about my drinking, don't really grasp how daily drinking is such a norm in Britain. I grew up with family having what was a "normal" quantity (too much for my mum for sure who was a binge alcoholic) of booze each night. I'm only on Day 11 here, but am relieved my Dad and sister now live at the opposite end of the U.S. My husband though (true to form, we pick partners who are good drinking buddies) sits and drinks his 5 or 6 beers each day (ok, so he's from a Polish family, busting my theory about the Brits being unique - its only the French who have mastered control perhaps!) and I come home from work and just have to tell myself that those beers are about *him*, not about me or my quest. So far, Day 11, good. We've been married for nearly 20 years, so we're not about to boot the other one out. But frankly if I were younger and in a relationship of shorter duration with an alcoholic , I'd think about other options. Sounds harsh, but I realize that much of my life we've been enabling each other. Best to you, time to get ready for work.
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:03 AM
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i told her wine in the fridge and jack d in the cupbord was bad for me it made me feel like drinking ,she refused to get rid off,
Jim it may be prime time to talk with her again and let her know you are serious about this and if she is serious about you being around she may want to consider removing the booze. Booze is not something I allow to STAY in my house, I do not mind some one haveing a few drinks around me, even in my own house, but folks understand not to leave it at my house out of respect for my sobriety.
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:38 AM
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Second that emotion: alcohol in the house was a huge problem for me early in sobriety. It caused....no....I caused.... a couple of relapses because of it. After one relapse I ended up in the ER with serious withdrawal symptoms.

I was living like a mouse in my own house. I was afraid and lacked the self confidence to demand an alcohol free house.

My family regarded my issue with a nonchalant attitude. They continued to bring a lot of liquor into the house and it created problems for me in the form of relapses.
I finally made some demands and spoke up for myself. The mouse roared.
Felt kind of good to finally roar. Now things are really different around here and I can finally feel like my home is my shelter, and I don't have to worry about booze staring me in the face anymore.
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Jim it may be prime time to talk with her again and let her know you are serious about this and if she is serious about you being around she may want to consider removing the booze. Booze is not something I allow to STAY in my house, I do not mind some one haveing a few drinks around me, even in my own house, but folks understand not to leave it at my house out of respect for my sobriety.
we broke up this time for good

i'm just not the same person since i stopped drinking

not better ... not worse i'm just different

we just dont have anything in common anymore

i am much more used to being on my own and i tend to think of me and what i want more and all the time i was drinking i was a do anything to keep the peace sort of a guy as long as i could go out and have a laugh with my drinking buddies i would of put up with anything

but now i dont go drinking or see them i feel restless and like i want more from life

what do you sober guys do now you dont drink ????
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:47 AM
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Jim.........alright mate.
cant believe this thread is still going......
seems to have got over complicated.........imo you already had the solution.

like you said.......if she is drinking dont go round her place.
stay away for 24 hours
seems like a simple solution to me........maybe im missing something?

i mean you love the girl right......i presume she has tons of attractive qualitys
she stood in your corner when the [email protected] hit the fan plenty i bet..
so she went out and got blitzed....so what...

life goes on.........people still have fun with booze.........nowt wrong with booze..
just "us" and booze.....remove yourself from the equation next time.
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:49 AM
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Wow, sorry to hear you broke up. What do we blokes do when sober? Well, I am a blokette and I don't have enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do.

When I was drunk the hours and days stretched out like an infinity and I didn't have a single idea what I was going to do.

The ideas will come: you will naturally find a way to use your time.
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:49 AM
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Originally Posted by baldjim View Post
we broke up this time for good

i'm just not the same person since i stopped drinking

not better ... not worse i'm just different

we just dont have anything in common anymore

i am much more used to being on my own and i tend to think of me and what i want more and all the time i was drinking i was a do anything to keep the peace sort of a guy as long as i could go out and have a laugh with my drinking buddies i would of put up with anything

but now i dont go drinking or see them i feel restless and like i want more from life

what do you sober guys do now you dont drink ????
thats real sad to hear mate.......surely theres more to this than her going out and over doing it...

still... if your happy......good luck
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:52 AM
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what the hell is a blokette?????..........do i really wanna knows this ..lol
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Old 10-27-2009, 05:56 AM
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Wow i didn't realise it would go to break up...

As far as the what to do when sober thing, you know i go to AA...you know the meetings and meeting sober people like yourself is a real plus mate...you might want to check out a couple if you are going to have more time to yourself...you will probably pick up on some good ideas to occupy your time as well...don't get lonely and don't start isolating cos that is not good for any of us:-)
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Old 10-27-2009, 06:00 AM
  # 75 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by trucker View Post
what the hell is a blokette?????..........do i really wanna knows this ..lol
i think its an older more mature laddette
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Old 10-27-2009, 06:03 AM
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its the same as the lad and ladette thing, but i think blokette's behave much better though than ladettes;-)
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Old 10-27-2009, 07:07 AM
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well,i am a lady these days (sort of----ish---lol) never thought i would be able to say that! jim i think trucker has some valid points.was it worth splitting up over?
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Old 11-01-2009, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by baldjim View Post
my partner went out with a friend last night ,i was there with them till about 10 pm they were drinking shots and jack d my fave drink, by 10 i wanted to go home but the girls being drunk wanted to go to a night club for an hour and the deal was i'd stay up and drive pick them up at 12 midnight

suited me fine i went back took my partners kids some pizza and watched the football on tv (soccer) we ate the pizza me and her 15 year old son had a good chat ,i took the dogs for a walk and i had a nice chilling night

at 12 i checked my phone no come and pick me up text

12.30 nothing

1 AM nothing

1.30 nothing

i sent her a text saying i'm tired and i could do with going to sleep is she going to be long

nothing

at 2am i drove down to the night club and waited outside

2.30 she staggers out of the door very very drunk bare foot,her top rght down showing enough cleavage to park a harley in ,she see's the car trips in through the door ,gigling like a schoolgirl saying i;m dwunk and slurring

the stench of jack d and shots was over whelming

as i drove her home she had her head out of the window as she felt sick ,every time i went around a corner she fell all over the place sometimes falling onto me whilst i was driving other times smashing her head on the window

all the journey home was .. stop the car i want to walk ,i feel sick etc

i spent a very sleepness night with her moaning in her sleep ,snoring like a wounded wilderbeast and her tossing and turning getting up to the tiolet 50 times

this morning has been no better listening to her being sick into a bowl and saying stuff like never again etc

yet i cant really say a word can i ??? i have done this and much worse over and over again ???

i know i cant really preach here but if she dont stop drinking .... i wont be able to stay in this relationship

what sort of moron am i saying this???

i have been much much worse but i cant stand it :wtf2
I am at a loss here as I am new to this forum and have been reading through people's struggles to come to terms with addiction. Why would you talk about this lady like this on a forum? It sounds as if you have had a long relationship with the lady and yet your writing of her is very down putting. Is she alcoholic or was she just having a good time with her friends?
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Old 11-01-2009, 03:31 PM
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Hi Blackhawk

Welcome to SR.
Feel free to start your own thread and tell us your story
How can we help?

D
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Old 11-01-2009, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi Blackhawk

Welcome to SR.
Feel free to start your own thread and tell us your story
How can we help?

D
Thanks, that's real good of you to welcome me. I'm having a hard time coming to grips with some things in my life so I will start a thread. It's been a great help reading the posts and seeing how people here cope as that helps me.
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