Hey there guys....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
Hey all.....just thought I'd put in my little update since i posted a week ago. I didn't make it very far this week. I was feeling great Monday and Tuesday, then I found out on Wed, that I was going to have Thurs, Fri, sat, sun, and Monday off!! WHOHOO.......
So what's the first thing I did??.......YUP...went to the beer store to " celebrate" my mini vacation. Somehow in my stupid head I justified it because I was going to try this new light, low calorie beer. Even when I was in the beer store I felt sick to my stomach, knowing how good I was feeling, and thinking that I would never be there again.
Anyway, got the beer....it sucked, I drank about 6 and barely had a tingle. Thats when I called my wife at work complaining about poor me and my crappy beer, and would she pick me up some yummy strong beer. Which she did.
Anyhow, I've been drinking nightly since Wednesday night, but not too much. Just enough to get a little drunk and pass out early. Now that I have the idea of quitting in my head, and since I've been coming to this website...I've noticed that I have this little voice in my head saying to me " Steve...you know you want to quit....you should go read SR.........just go to bed, don't you want to feel good tomorrow?"
The thought of giving up alcohol completely is honestly scary for me. When I was walking into the beer store wednesday I was yelling at myself in my head....WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?!??!?! Yet I did it anyway. I'm so sick of not having control over my own actions.
I was just reading a post by Firestorm090 a few minutes ago, and one thing he said really struck a chord with me. "At this point, all I know is that drinking sucks and not drinking leaves me lost. "-------man oh man...I hear ya.
I still have hope....I feel confident that I will overcome this problem with drinking. I feel it's starting to happen..... It just that it feels so damn right when I'm drinking. Damn me!
Sorry for rambling guys. It feels good to get all this out of my head and onto a page.
Have a great Halloween guys......Off to go carve the pumpkin with the little ones
Thanks
Steve
So what's the first thing I did??.......YUP...went to the beer store to " celebrate" my mini vacation. Somehow in my stupid head I justified it because I was going to try this new light, low calorie beer. Even when I was in the beer store I felt sick to my stomach, knowing how good I was feeling, and thinking that I would never be there again.
Anyway, got the beer....it sucked, I drank about 6 and barely had a tingle. Thats when I called my wife at work complaining about poor me and my crappy beer, and would she pick me up some yummy strong beer. Which she did.
Anyhow, I've been drinking nightly since Wednesday night, but not too much. Just enough to get a little drunk and pass out early. Now that I have the idea of quitting in my head, and since I've been coming to this website...I've noticed that I have this little voice in my head saying to me " Steve...you know you want to quit....you should go read SR.........just go to bed, don't you want to feel good tomorrow?"
The thought of giving up alcohol completely is honestly scary for me. When I was walking into the beer store wednesday I was yelling at myself in my head....WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?!??!?! Yet I did it anyway. I'm so sick of not having control over my own actions.
I was just reading a post by Firestorm090 a few minutes ago, and one thing he said really struck a chord with me. "At this point, all I know is that drinking sucks and not drinking leaves me lost. "-------man oh man...I hear ya.
I still have hope....I feel confident that I will overcome this problem with drinking. I feel it's starting to happen..... It just that it feels so damn right when I'm drinking. Damn me!
Sorry for rambling guys. It feels good to get all this out of my head and onto a page.
Have a great Halloween guys......Off to go carve the pumpkin with the little ones
Thanks
Steve
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
When I finally gave up drinking it was due to the guilt, anxiety and self hatred. I knew it was going to be hard because I loved drinking wine. It gave me the same warm feeling beer gives you.
You CAN do this... It isn't easy, but is so worth it. Tell yourself that you wont drink today.
You CAN do this... It isn't easy, but is so worth it. Tell yourself that you wont drink today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traveling in Europe
Posts: 415
Hey man, good to see ya. We have all been there. Obviously I love the taste of beer. That is why i'm here... in the first couple months of sobriety I would endlessly fantasize about a Guinness or whatever, now it rarely enters my mind. (i'm talking about only a couple vivid thoughts a week here) When it does I know that I don't want to go back to the depression, the self hate, the uncontrollable anxiety. Screw that brother. I use AA in my recovery and I would suggest trying it out. But there are many people on here who use different methods to recover. When the pain exceeds the pleasure you'll know what to do. Keep posting, Keep comin' back!
in the first couple months of sobriety I would endlessly fantasize about a Guinness or whatever, now it rarely enters my mind. (i'm talking about only a couple vivid thoughts a week here) When it does I know that I don't want to go back to the depression, the self hate, the uncontrollable anxiety. Screw that brother. I use AA in my recovery and I would suggest trying it out. But there are many people on here who use different methods to recover. When the pain exceeds the pleasure you'll know what to do. Keep posting, Keep comin' back!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
One thing I can tell you (having been a chronic relapser in the past) is that you can never go back to the way you were, with drinking.
I don't mean that it will always get worse (which it generally does) but that by actively deciding and admitting that you need to stop, you have changed your relationship to alcohol forever.
In the past I have drank again because I was bored, scared or angry, among just about any other reason I could come up with, and always in the back of my mind was the knowledge that what I was doing was not only stupid but not even much fun anymore.
I think I have finally got to the point of deciding it's not worth it before I actually take a drink (it's taken a while ) but what I mean to say is that even though you only lasted a couple of days you have taken an important step, so stick with it and never stop giving up.
I don't mean that it will always get worse (which it generally does) but that by actively deciding and admitting that you need to stop, you have changed your relationship to alcohol forever.
In the past I have drank again because I was bored, scared or angry, among just about any other reason I could come up with, and always in the back of my mind was the knowledge that what I was doing was not only stupid but not even much fun anymore.
I think I have finally got to the point of deciding it's not worth it before I actually take a drink (it's taken a while
) but what I mean to say is that even though you only lasted a couple of days you have taken an important step, so stick with it and never stop giving up.
Just another day...
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
Hi Steve!
I had many day 1's. Actually I'm on day 6 right now. But I try to not dwell on that or I end up getting thirsty. I think allport is right, you made the important step, you realized you have a problem. Don't give up. It obviously takes some longer to quit for good then others.
I had many day 1's. Actually I'm on day 6 right now. But I try to not dwell on that or I end up getting thirsty. I think allport is right, you made the important step, you realized you have a problem. Don't give up. It obviously takes some longer to quit for good then others.
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