old demons coming home to roost

Old 10-24-2009, 05:58 PM
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Location: kingston ontario
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Question old demons coming home to roost

Hello I am new here and unsure if am even posting this right. I have a question I have been on methadone now for 2 years and it has saved my life however i just ended a nine year relationship with the man i was supposed to spend my life with because i was on the sober train and he was on the derailment train getting high and going to jail...etc... My problems is now that he is gone and i can concentrate on myself I am havin alot of nightmares and can not sleep well anymore not only that but when my mother (whom i live with) works nights i can't seem to sleep at all. I find myself up and waiting for someone to break in or to come to collect old debts that my ex left behind for me to deal with.... I am a single mother of a 14 year old living with my mother and i try not to let anyone know what I am afraid of because i don't want to cause unneeded fear especially in my son.. I have told my mother and she will call to try and calm me down and get me to sleep and she thinks i am being silly and i know that I am safe but i just can't get rid of these demons is this surfacing now because i have all this time to worry about just my sobriety and how do i kill these demons they are really turning me into something unpleasant to say the least I know the whole no caffeine, take walks but this isn't insomnia it is fear.....true and honest fear of a past life from 2 years ago seems far enough away but just resurfaces every night... I am prescribed seroquel and i have stopped taking it because it doesn't work...Fear out weighs medication what can i do i wish i could erase my memory any suggestions please am tired of reliving that life
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Old 10-24-2009, 06:11 PM
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Old 10-24-2009, 06:19 PM
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Hi Stratta

Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support here.
Have you seen a doctor recently about your sleep and anxiety problems? I think that might be a good start.

A good face to face support programme like NA might help too? SR's great but it's always good to have numbers to call and people to talk to in real life I think.

You should also check out our substance abuse forum
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

keep posting
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Old 10-24-2009, 06:25 PM
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I'm glad you posted and it's good to see a fellow-Canadian here.

Our amazing Administrator, Morning Glory, posted this article on PTSD. It has helped me a lot. There are things that you can do to help control your mind from running away:
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Old 10-24-2009, 07:00 PM
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I was just reading that article and I think that maybe I might have low seretonin levels because i have been under enormous stress for over a year now with alot of situations to many to even to get into but all the things it describes the waking at 4 in the morning the craving for sweets i eat a thing of ice cream a day and crave it like i need it like air...headaches it is like someone has listed all my symptoms.....Thank you I thought i was going crazy and that my ex leaving triggered some post traumatic stress thing...when really leaving him has made my life easier and lessened the amount of triggers i am exposed to..Now i can talk to a doctor about this everyone has been telling me to stop being so childish i even had bloodwork done looking for brain tumors because of headaches and paranoia but you just shone a spotlight on what i think is the problem i guess it is depression although i never felt sad but have been totally stressed to the max for over 12months only one way for the brain to respond thank you thank you thank u
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Old 10-26-2009, 07:34 PM
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Welcome to Soberrecovery. There will be more along to welcome you! Hope you find refuge here.:day6
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