firestorm090

I spent my entire adult life racing to get somewhere, and the truth is I don't know where. That's plain nuts. I hear people speak of the Serenity prayer, I've joined in at the end of meetings and said it, but I don't know what serenity is. I posted about this is my other thread, and am just curious about what serenity means in the real world. I was taught at a young age to work hard, be a man, losers never win, don't cry, buck up and get the job done, take care of your family, walk the dog, and don't air dirty laundry in public. While these may be fine and dandy ideals, I think somewhere along the road I got sidetracked, for the rewards were diminishing as I progressed at my constant pace to stay ahead of the next guy, to beat the Joneses of the world, to really become someone important, with all the trappings of success. I wonder why they call them trappings, well to me that's what they are. I've chased an illusion, I've never felt content, that enough is enough, and that I am enough. My own failure to achieve sainthood has caused me much pain, I just can't seem to win the Nobel Peace Prize regardless of how hard I work, and so I wrap my little failures all up in a cute little package, then I get drunk and smash the package to bits. Serenity alludes me, peace of mind is off in the distance, just over this hill, around the next curve, over the next bridge, it's like chasing a rainbow. Somehow, here lately I've just run out of gas. Even a case of scotch cannot quell the tempest inside me.

How do you find peace of mind?

tricky164

SERENITY.

To be able to see unclouded. (for us, without the fog).

how do you find peace of mind ? go to AA, get a sponsor, work the 12 steps, work with others.

selfish and self centred is the root of my problems, when i work with others im not thinking about me. because when i think about me "im miserable !!.

peace and fellowship to you.

god bless

Gypsy Feet

For me I've learned about it in a couple of different ways. The biggest eye opener for me, is gratitude. When my mind starts racing, I try and stop and just think of all of the good things in my life today. It's 7:30 right now, and I made it through a really tough Friday night. I don't have to work today, yippee=). I have a stack of unread books I got for 50 cents each at the library!

The next thing I found that works is stretching my beliefs a tad (what can it hurt really?) and reaching out for that Higher Power. When I am sick with worry over my daughter, I think "She is a wonderful human being, and no accident, therefor she has a grand Creator. Because she is the embodiment of love for me, her Creator surely loves her, and therefor has her in the palm of his or her hand, and will keep her safe."

From there, I can thank the universe for giving me so many gifts, and I too can feel loved, because what ever is out there, what ever helped me open the door to my escape that I couldn't open myself, loves all of us. Thats just the way it has to be. I am a nice girl, why wouldn't I be loved=)

So the stuff that is too heavy for me to carry, I ask for a little help. It doesn't seem to matter that I only sort of believe, if I feel a little better after the asking, who cares right?

pennylane2009

Hey Dallas,

Been reading your posts the last couple of days ... all I can say about serenity is that not drinking is the first step. I am just over 30 days in to this sobriety thing, and little pieces of wisdom and calm revealed themselves to me every day for the first few weeks. Work on understanding the "one day at a time" concept first. One day a time not drinking, one day at a time about life, one day at a time solving all your problems. Don't think way too far ahead about where you will be or when you'll win that Noble Peace Prize or find the cure for cancer or whatever. Just calm down, take a deep breath, look around you and focus on today.

It took me a while to "get" the one day at a time concept. Actually, it may have taken a whole week of just thinking about it, letting it bounce around in my head while I did other things.

That's one step towards feeling more serene. Start with that.

Best,
PL

firestorm090

Thanks ladies,

I know you're right, I do get ahead of myself and forget the Good Lord most of the time. I'm glad he/she hasn't forgotten about this ole drunk and still tolerates my bs, lol. It helps me post the crap in my head because I don't talk about these kinds of things with others personally. Maybe I should, but then again, who really wants to get deep inot things? Best to just get busy and do something, at least it occupies my mind. Think I'll put a new floor in the shed today. That's a start and another chance to use the new tools I bought last spring. I think I've turned on the table saw three times since then,

Thanks again for helping me and I hope to do the same for others soon.

Mark75

Hey firestorm....

All I can give is my experience. I went to rehab to save my career. I was there for two months... When I came home, my mind was a whirling conflagration... they say avoid people, places, things....... yeaaaaaa....right! ....... I live in the house where I drank for twenty three years surrounded by my wife and family, whom I drank around (and with my wife, though she's not alkie at all).... every thing I ever did, almost, I did while drinking....

Serenity? WTF......

So I worked the program of AA... found some meetings I liked.... learned all I could about the 12 steps, worked the 12 steps, have a sponsor and a support group.... I read and post a lot over in the 12 step forum.....

Slowly.... You know, I experience serenity.... yep... the whirling is gone!

Was it just sober time (I am 13 months now)? No, not really.... I can really use a lot of what I've learned in AA, easily, handily and frequently to stay.... well, relatively.... serene.

Second and Third steps.... once I really got them down and in my heart... that's when it started happening.

Dallas.... I am not going to try and sell you or anyone AA.... some here have some problems with the spirituality aspect of the program, and some just can't grasp the difference between spirituality and religion, or are so biased, through previous bad experience that they just won't even try.... so be it and I even have serenity with that....

But if AA is on your radar screen.... Jump in man! With BOTH FEET!!! You are so bound up in self, it takes my breath away.... I just can't help thinking that a life beyond your wildest dreams await you, just break the shackles....

Come over to the 12 step forum if your interested.... there is some good sobriety there and if you want what AAs have.... well.... see ya there!! No, it's not always an easy ride, but it's worth taking!

Mark

firestorm090

Thanks Mark,

I've beaten around the AA bush for some time now, so I think I'll get it an honest go. I have to buy a new BB, and get some new numbers, cause I tossed the ones I had in the trash one night while drunk and angry, oops! I think I keep tripping over step 3. haven't figured out how to do that one.

mirage

Oh you help others...just by posting. It may not feel like it right now, but you do.

Anna

Hi Firestorm,

I had no clue what serenity was when I stopped drinking either.

I was miserable and like you, I kept thinking I would 'get there', wherever 'there' was. I had no clue where I was heading, was fixated on the destination, and ignoring the journey. Alcoholism brought me to my knees and I had to learn to listen to my soul, to my inner voice. I had to stop living my life according to other people's ideas of what I should be doing.

firestorm090

Hi Anna, I agree wholeheartedly that we place too much emphasis on what others think of us. One of the reasons I post here is because i can be brutally honest and say what's on my mind, and I don't have to impress anyone. I can sit here and type with holes in my jeans, (actually I have a couple pair just for the fashion statement, lol), spill coffee down my shirt and no one says anything about it. I really wish the hair on the top of my head could stand up, but it went bye-bye long ago, lol. Anyway, you're right Anna, reovery has to be personal, and at this point I don't care what others think, the booze is killing me, so it has to go.

traderjane

Hey there firestorm, Serenity for me is acceptance that things are exactly as they should be. Everything happens for a reason, though it may not be clear to you (me) right now. Things in life do not make a lot of sense sometimes and I've stopped trying to impose my version of the world on top of what truly IS. Along with realizing I was trying to make drinking fit into my life, there were a whole bunch of other things I was trying to change that really are not changeable. People in my life I wanted to fit a certain mold were not fitting in, boyfriends were not who I wanted them to be, etc. So acceptance, calm and inner peace come with this zen feeling that things are unfolding as they should.

Admittedly, I have gotten a lot of this from my yoga classes. But also AA is helping me get to this as well.

Hope that helps!

Zencat

I found still mind meditation helps me have a quiet mind in times of distress. When I catch myself with a racing mind I can return to a still point within my mind. The still point I have cultivated with a daily practice of meditation. meditation is achievable and developed with regular practice over time.

goofers

The trek to sucess does not bring serenity and certainly does not guarantee any great happiness..... Sucess is peace within yourself, attaining the level you YOU.....want to get to, not someone else's idea of what you should be.
If you attain even ONE GOOD FRIEND in life you are a sucess. Cherish that position of life. My best friend is my wife...and I have others now. I am not rich, famous, or notable but I am happy. Achieve what your idea is of sucess and serenity will follow....a peace within yourself. Your soul will glow and people will notice. The love of friends and family is a great start. Booze wishes to destroy you and your body, mind, and heart. Love of God is an individual thing and for me it was the turning point in my attitude off drugs.
Good luck and know that I think you are worth more than money could ever buy. No Nobel peace award, chairman of the board position, movie star, or would make me want to think differently. You are within yourself more than enough and the value of you is priceless. Wishing you a sober continuing life.
:ghug3

firestorm090

Wow, what a wealth of support and indepth, caring replies. You should all be proud, for you've helped this old drunk stay sober a couple more hours.

You know, I was outside, tearing uup the floor of my shed, pulling 2x4's from the rafters of the garage and setting up my table saw when it dawned on me that when I'm busy working on something I enjoy working on, I'm content. I just never thought of it as serenity before, and the truth is I like to work, especially when building something. You see, I worked as a carpenter for years, 20+, and still enjoy building anything, it doesn't matter if I'm repairing something, building a new deck, building an awning, a kitchen cabinet, or bath vanity, it just feels good to have tools in my hand. The reason I keep coming back here and asking so many questions, bitching, moaning and complaining is because I can't seem to find the tools to build a new life, even if they are right in front of me. Yesterday, I was going to run to the store and was looking for my sunglasses. I checked my office, den, kitchen, then asked my room mate if she'd seen them. She chuckled, then told me they were on my hat, which I was wearing at the time. DUH. That's the way it is with recovery, I know it's there, I know it's possible, I know I'm a smart guy, but the tools for recovery allude me. Maybe I need to get out of my own way? Maybe I need a pair of binoculars to see them. I'm just glad all of you know how to use them, because I learn better when taught the right way.

I'm still listening and am grateful to each of you for your help.