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Whoop dee doo!!

Old 10-22-2009, 12:50 AM
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Whoop dee doo!!

Who gives a damn? My real name is Dallas, and I'm tired of hiding behind a sreeen name I selected to join here. I'm a drunk and I drank again tonight. I don't care about those of you who think you are or may be wasting your time by responding to me, for I am you before you got sober. I am the shadow you want to forget, the mirror you want to pass by , the memory of how you were just a short time ago. Don't talk to me, that's ok, I'm still here and I'm real. I am YOU.
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Old 10-22-2009, 01:01 AM
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Hey Dallas
Yep, you are the 'was me' down to a tee.

If I wanted to forget people like you I wouldn't be here
I know how you feel...but I also know it doesn't have to be like this, as impossible as that seems...

My best advice to you is to dump whats left, go to bed, sleep it off, and start again.

Where you are now is no place to live.
You deserve more, and I hope you find it.

You're not alone

D

Last edited by Dee74; 10-22-2009 at 01:17 AM.
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Old 10-22-2009, 01:47 AM
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Dallas, cool name! Not as cool as Cliff but almost;-)

Keep drinking, keep posting...until the pain gets so bad that you are willing to do anything to get help...when r u going to your next AA meeting?

Bad, bad Dallas!!!!
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Old 10-22-2009, 02:08 AM
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Dear Dallas, I know how you feel I dont like hiding behind a computer/screen name either I wish I put my real name on too.
This is a complex disease that we share. Maybe you are gaining a new level of understanding by your experiment with drinking again!
Please just keep coming back and posting.
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Old 10-22-2009, 02:16 AM
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Hi Dallas,

Cool name (although firestorm090 is also pretty darn cool IMO...) but um, why do you think I think I'm wasting my time talking to you... When you're sober, you're funny, honest, and full of things to learn from. When you're not, you tend to lose the humor, but, a friend is a friend, and I consider you one (a internet friend, even before I learned your name...).

Shoot, we oughtta just have a backslider group here...

I can't speak no words of wisdom, 'cause I'm not being good either. But I am trying. Just no good at it, is all. I still am supporting you, for reasons of my own, and I mean it. Wake up, dust yourself off... if you didn't want this you wouldn't be here. I know, 'cause it takes more energy to come here than to ignore the whole idea... sooner or later it'll stick, all this stuff we're reading and learning. That's my hope... actually that's my only chance.

Take care of yourself as best you can, brother,
-TB, who's breaking her silence to say this...
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Old 10-22-2009, 02:51 AM
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So glad I dont think like you do anymore Dallas.....thanks for the reminder. Take care. Hope tomorr is better for you.
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Old 10-22-2009, 03:30 AM
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I wouldn't assume that people are judging you for relapsing. Relapsing is a big problem and an issue that people struggle with a lot. As many old timers and new timers here can testify to!
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Old 10-22-2009, 03:31 AM
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..sweet dreams my friend.. you'll beat this horror,and it is just
that.. an absolute nightmare that keeps imurging..be kind to yourself!!
..you are an important person..for all of us..Oz..
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Old 10-22-2009, 03:50 AM
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Originally Posted by littlefish View Post
I wouldn't assume that people are judging you for relapsing. Relapsing is a big problem and an issue that people struggle with a lot. As many old timers and new timers here can testify to!
I don't see this even as a relapse littlefish...this is just plain old caught up in the insanity for Dallas...he is 'relapsing' on the days he is not drinking at the moment not the other way around which means that even what may seem as a tiny step forward would be a massive leap into getting sober, like getting his ass down to an AA meeting and staying for coffees after! Point is this is not part of recovery, IMO he needs to start his recovery:-)

Would you agree?
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Old 10-22-2009, 05:18 AM
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Hey Dallas, I am Martin, no secret there, and I am an alcoholic, that also is not a secret.

So you say you are a drunk huh? Well I was a drunk for many years, the last 5 years of my drinking I did not draw a sober breath, getting sober was the easy part for me............. I just fricking gave up!!! I surrendered, I was willing to tell anyone that I have no idea how to stop drinking and STAY stopped. I told the entire truth to a Doctor because I thought he may have an answer for my alcoholism.

Well his initial answer was to put me into detox.

In detox they told me to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. Well I did just that.

I stopped fighting, I surrendered to the fact that I had not a single clue of how to stay sober.

Dallas what does your track record show about staying sober your way?

I went to far more then 90 AA meetings in 90 and I got a sponsor the first night. You see I had quit fighting, I stuck out my hand, asked for help in staying sober and the folks in AA took me by the hand and said "Want what we have? Do what we did and continue to do."

Guess what Dallas? I had given up, I was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober. These people all had a proven track record of staying sober, obviously they had learned how to stay sober and they were more then happy to share with me how they had stayed sober.

Dallas are you willing to do what ever it takes to get and stay sober?

If you are, REALLY are willing, then you should be able to follow a few simple suggestions that have worked for millions of other alcoholics right?

If you are not at that point yet, keep drinking and trying to stop your way, alcohol will do one of 2 things:

1. It will kill you!

2. It will bring you enough pain to make you willing to do what ever it takes to stay stopped.

Dallas you are so right, you are who I was just over 3 years ago.

I am the shadow you want to forget, the mirror you want to pass by , the memory of how you were just a short time ago.
No Dallas, I do not want to forget who I was, you and many others like you help me to remember where I came from, a HUGE part of my recovery is offering the solution that worked for me and millions of others to you and any other suffering alcoholic who seeks a solution for thier alcoholism.

Dallas I love myself today, not in an egotistical way, but I care about me today, I was you, I walked in your shoes for MANY years.

I have been in that hole you are in right now! Want out of that hole?

First things first, give up on digging the hole any deeper......... now look up...... see a way out that you know will work? I looked up and all I saw was NOTHING!!! I was hopeless, I had no solution, I knew of no way out of that damn hole!

At this point of hopelessness I surrendered, I reached out and I asked for help because I knew that my way only kept me digging the hole deeper. Well a group of recovering alcoholics hopped in that hole with, they took my hand, they smiled and they said "Follow us, we have found a way out of this hole." I stopped fighting and simply followed them along the same path they had taken.

Dallas it sounds as though you are getting close, I pray you get there before alcohol kills you.
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Old 10-22-2009, 05:36 AM
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Dallas, I was prepared to start writing a whole post here, but plain and simple

I have to agree with Taz's Post. If you want what we have, and are willing to go

to ANY length to get it. You and only you can decide if enough is enough. AA has

worked for me and many others, and IT CAN work for you too. Hope you make it.
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Old 10-22-2009, 05:41 AM
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Dallas, I sincerely hope you find a way to stop drinking soon. Drinking can only bring you to a bad end and I hope you can stop before you come to a bad end.
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Old 10-22-2009, 05:44 AM
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Hi Dallas... Keep coming back. Re-read Martin's post.

My name is Mark and I am an Alcoholic....
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Old 10-22-2009, 06:15 AM
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Hi Dallas, as you already know, my name is Cathy and I am also an alcoholic.
Thank you for your post! I would never think that anyone here is wasting time posting, you never know who needs to hear what you have to say at any given moment. We are here when you are sober, we are here when you slip, and we are here to welcome you back to recovery. That is the beauty of the program, no pressure to be perfect, just support.
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Old 10-22-2009, 06:25 AM
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Dallas, I don't forget. Not trying to start anything with anyone, but when I do see a post on here by anyone who wants to know why others "just don't get it? why do they keep drinking", my usual response is "don't forget you were once there too."

It is so rare that anyone wants to quit, does quit, never picks up again, yadda, yadda, yadda. Heh, if I had a dime for every time I wanted to quit...........

For those that are rough on you, they just want to see you succeed. People like me who have, want to see you get it. Of course we want you to do well.

Hang in there, I can tell you're frustrated. I'm sure I would be to. Everyone has their path, I hope you're eventually able to find yours. :ghug3
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Old 10-22-2009, 06:34 AM
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I still love you Dallas, been a long strange trip for us.

I see the life waiting for you even when you don't, and today, even though I suck at it, I am going to pray that someday soon you will see it as clearly as I can.

Keep coming back honey, never give up.
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Old 10-22-2009, 06:34 AM
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And yet, given all the posts, those paths are supposed to be easy to find...

I guess for some of us they're not so easily found.... which is not to say that it's impossible, merely that we gotta look a little farther to find what we need to find. I have faith, Dallas, that we're not lost--and no, I don't mean that in a religious way. And I'm named K- for what it's worth... I done told a bunch of people IM'ly, why not tell the world... you're right. It's an irrelevant fact, though, come down to it....

Last edited by thirtybubba; 10-22-2009 at 06:52 AM.
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Old 10-22-2009, 06:40 AM
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Hi Dallas,

We do understand how you feel. I will always remember how I felt when I was spiralling down.

I hope you make a decision to stop drinking today.
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Old 10-22-2009, 07:00 AM
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I think Kiana is a cool name.... so is Dallas for that matter. How did I get stuck with Laura (just kidding)...

So I'm Laura and I'm an alcoholic. Just wanted to chime in here. It feels good to say that because the battle is over.

And there is another life out there -- you just have to want it badly enough. I went a little further down the path of alcoholism before knowing that. I went as far as I want to go.

I'm seeing not only the benefits of sobriety (which I saw a few months ago) but RECOVERY ... which is what Cliff was saying.

I get it!!!!
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Old 10-22-2009, 07:17 AM
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Yeah, I was you.. thank God I choose not to be any more. That was hell.

I hope you find your way, Dallas. There's lots of paths before you.
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