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Old 10-21-2009, 02:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
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When was it that you really related to alcohol being an "obsession of the mind"?

For me it really hit home today as I related to another post about beer/booze runs. I would decide that I would have one beer only as I knew it was enough to get me a decent buz if slammed. I would go to the store, buy one Steele reserve, go home, slam it, start to feel good and go get another (at a different store ofcourse). Repeat previous sentence and you have my evening. I wasn't alkie because I only did this several nights a week. Looking back on it now, I was heavily in denial to the point of being delusional. Any similiar experiences?
He who neglects what is done for what ought to be done, sooner effects his ruin than his preservation.
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Old 10-21-2009, 03:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I couldn't relate to it until I was well into my recovery. Then I finally understood it was the first drink that got me drunk, not the second, or the twelfth, etc. From the time I put that bottle up to my mouth I was on a single track to oblivion.

I can definitely relate to your pattern of buying "just one" and then going back for more several times each day. And while I was a daily drinker I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I didn't drink in the morning. Well, not every day
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!"
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Old 10-21-2009, 03:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I wasn't an alcoholic because, although I drank all day (from first thing when possible) I never got drunk (drunk being falling down) until the evening...usually.


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Old 10-21-2009, 03:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
Laozi Old Man
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Originally Posted by ElegantlyWasted View Post
...Looking back on it now, I was heavily in denial to the point of being delusional. Any similiar experiences?
I was delusional to the point of thinking that 30 beers a day was "normal".

"Guess what? I got a fever, and the only prescription is more Taobell!"

- All Big Book quotes are from first Edition -
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Old 10-21-2009, 03:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It wasn't until I went into rehab and
began to learn about the disease I
had called alcoholism. It was then
I could see the pattern of drinking
I had fallen into.

So many nights id sit in front of
the tv after putting my kids to
sleep and making quite a few trips
to the kitchen to refill my cup
with cold wine.

Oh and I remember running to
the grocery store early evening
picking up my Gallo wine and opening
it up for a few gulps cause i couldnt
wait till i got home.

Yep i got caught by spouse when
he confronted me about the
opened bottle. I felt so embarr-
essed, but hey, i didnt want to
be low on my stash.

Staying in a controlled inviro-
ment with no contact with
alcohol for 28 days was a
life savor for me.

I had enough time to allow
the fog to clear from my
brain so i could recieve
the tools and knowledge
of my disease of alcoholism.

Some 19 yrs later i still get
crazy with life difficulties or
maybe its just hormones....lol
But i have a program of recovery
to help me every inch of the way.

Baton Rouge, La.

I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily basis for guidance, care and protection.
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Old 10-21-2009, 04:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
it's all happening
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For me, it was when I left a friend's house after downing a couple of beers, with the kids in the car, and realized I wasn't tipsy enough. So I stopped at the local supermarket, left the kids in the car, and dashed in for beer. But then I decided it would look bad if I just bought beer, so I grabbed a box of Lucky Charms (we never really do crappy cereal for breakfast ...) And then I decided I'd still look like I had a problem, so I picked up hard cider instead of beer.

And came home and drank until I fell asleep. By myself.

Still took a while before I quit, but I felt like the worst mother even as I was doing it.
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