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Old 10-21-2009, 02:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Obsession


When was it that you really related to alcohol being an "obsession of the mind"?

For me it really hit home today as I related to another post about beer/booze runs. I would decide that I would have one beer only as I knew it was enough to get me a decent buz if slammed. I would go to the store, buy one Steele reserve, go home, slam it, start to feel good and go get another (at a different store ofcourse). Repeat previous sentence and you have my evening. I wasn't alkie because I only did this several nights a week. Looking back on it now, I was heavily in denial to the point of being delusional. Any similiar experiences?
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Old 10-21-2009, 03:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I couldn't relate to it until I was well into my recovery. Then I finally understood it was the first drink that got me drunk, not the second, or the twelfth, etc. From the time I put that bottle up to my mouth I was on a single track to oblivion.

I can definitely relate to your pattern of buying "just one" and then going back for more several times each day. And while I was a daily drinker I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I didn't drink in the morning. Well, not every day
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Old 10-21-2009, 03:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I wasn't an alcoholic because, although I drank all day (from first thing when possible) I never got drunk (drunk being falling down) until the evening...usually.

LOL.

D
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Old 10-21-2009, 03:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElegantlyWasted View Post
...Looking back on it now, I was heavily in denial to the point of being delusional. Any similiar experiences?
I was delusional to the point of thinking that 30 beers a day was "normal".
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Old 10-21-2009, 03:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It wasn't until I went into rehab and
began to learn about the disease I
had called alcoholism. It was then
I could see the pattern of drinking
I had fallen into.

So many nights id sit in front of
the tv after putting my kids to
sleep and making quite a few trips
to the kitchen to refill my cup
with cold wine.

Oh and I remember running to
the grocery store early evening
picking up my Gallo wine and opening
it up for a few gulps cause i couldnt
wait till i got home.

Yep i got caught by spouse when
he confronted me about the
opened bottle. I felt so embarr-
essed, but hey, i didnt want to
be low on my stash.

Staying in a controlled inviro-
ment with no contact with
alcohol for 28 days was a
life savor for me.

I had enough time to allow
the fog to clear from my
brain so i could recieve
the tools and knowledge
of my disease of alcoholism.

Some 19 yrs later i still get
crazy with life difficulties or
maybe its just hormones....lol
But i have a program of recovery
to help me every inch of the way.
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Old 10-21-2009, 04:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
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For me, it was when I left a friend's house after downing a couple of beers, with the kids in the car, and realized I wasn't tipsy enough. So I stopped at the local supermarket, left the kids in the car, and dashed in for beer. But then I decided it would look bad if I just bought beer, so I grabbed a box of Lucky Charms (we never really do crappy cereal for breakfast ...) And then I decided I'd still look like I had a problem, so I picked up hard cider instead of beer.

And came home and drank until I fell asleep. By myself.

Still took a while before I quit, but I felt like the worst mother even as I was doing it.
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