Anodyne

Hi there. If you're anything like me, it's about 3 am, you're having some super fun shakes, or a headache, or just plotting out exactly how you will have alcohol in your hands 1 minute after the gas stations start selling them again.

I'm old to the site, but still a virtual baby to recovery. I've run the mini gamut from "wow I love being here, you people are awesome" to "I'm perfectly fine (while I ruin my relationships, **** people off, and get thrown in jail) I don't need you too goods."

I'm on 42 says sober, which seems like a huge number, to me, and I have found that still, the middle of the night is the worst. I haven't told a lot of my real life friends about my problem, I just say no thanks when I am asked to go out to a bar or a club or a casino. Some people are apparently able to go to places like that and just not drink. at this point in time I am not one of those people, so I just don't go.

So, well, it's 3 am, I'm all twitchy, and I'm afraid to call anyone I know, because I don't want to bother people. If any of you are having hard times with the middle of the night, post in here, and we'll try and get some talking going on.

Maggot4Life

Hi Anodyne, I feel you man, the middle of the night is always the worst for me, because thats when I did most of my drinking and my body is like WTF where is the liquor, last night I had the worst headache and felt so ill, detox is the worst, Congrats on the 42 days sober, that is awesome stuff, Im on Day 02 today.

Eating sweet things to cut the cravings helps a little bit, I prefer eating healthy foods cuz it makes me feel that much better but some nights I just cant resist that milkshake or chocolate muffin

Good Luck with your recovery man, we all in this together

Richard54

I'm on the coast so about 2 hours behind you I guess.

Wifey was snapping beers all this evening... each snap made me twitch.

About 11:30 I jumped in the car and went to Safeway before they closed at midnight.

Bought 2 tubs of ice cream... one strawberry and one butterscotch ripple.....and a lemon meringue pie.

Wifey is passed out now. I'm sittin' here... finished almost half the pie.
Debating about a bowl of ice cream.

No way I'm gonna drink (there's plenty of wifeys beer in the fridge)

I'm only 8 days in....did 6 months from jan/july, longest since i was about 13...then I blew it.

Don't go to the gas station Anodyne.

Dee74

Hi Anodyne
So glad to hear you have 42 days...that's great

Hope you guys can hang out some more - maybe even get a few more 'members'...
D

Anodyne

Thanks Maggot, I hope you keep up your life sans drug of choice, too.

Right now I'm just munching sunflower seeds and reading cryptomundo.

I've found that sour or salty things help a lot more if I use them to keep my mouth busy than sweets do. this might be a personal thing, but if anyone is having troubles, I would say try sour candies or sunflower seeds, worst case you feel just like you did before.

I guess I am personaly at the stage where anything is worth a shot, and I want to encourage anyone else who is feeling like that to -not- give up. To me, at least, I feel like the most utterly alone person in the universe when it's the middle of the night, I can't sleep, I refuse to drink, and I refuse to bother any of my non-addicted friends with my whiny crying like an 8 year old girl because I'm lonely and blah blah blah.

I may not be seeing everything exactly right, and I mean no offense to any 8 year old girls, I am sure you are awesome, but I hate this feeling, and so if anyone else struggles with that, I'd be keen on just talking to you for a bit, in the middle of the night. Play some internet texas holdem, or chess, or just talk. All we have to do is make it a few more hours.
*thumbs up*
And we can.
We so can.

Anodyne

that would mess with my head, Richard, a lot. If there was plenty of someone else's beer right there in the fridge.

I'm pretty sure that I would turn 'plenty' into 'not enough' within a few hours, if I had my druthers.

Again, I do not envy your situation at all, but I am very much impressed with the fact that you're 8 days in, with it right there in the house.

Anodyne

There goes 42. Just like that.
While I was sitting here on this site, extolling the virtues of -not- doing this again.

Looked under my tv for my Transformers DVD, apparently I had stashed a 16 ouncer of bud sometime in the past there. Saw it. Considered it mana from heaven. Really smart, eh? Now I have 'the taste'

I really dislike myself sometimes.

Maggot4Life

Yea I would of had those beers eventually, could not resist them at this stage in my recovery

Richard54

Anodyne that is a real drag. Don't drink it man.
What would be the point of 'one' bud?

Maggot, you're over the worst hump now. Day 3 should be better for yah.

Tazman53

Welcome back Anodyne. You know when I was in early recovery I had a group of folks that I could call at any time of day or night and they were glad I woke them from a sound sleep!!!!

Oh yea, I know........ what is that fruit cake claiming now, calling people in the wee morning hours and they are happy he called!

Well the folks I could call had walked in my shoes before and they had called people in the wee hours of the morning as well.

You may ask who the heck would be happy some one called at 2:30AM? Well in these cases it was folks in AA, I have been called by folks myself, I love it!

You see one of the reasons AA works is because it is one alcoholic helping another alcoholic stay sober!

Try telling one of your none alcoholic friends what it is like to be an alcoholic, more then likely they will tell you the same thing my wife used to tell me...... "Why don't you just stop drinking!"

If you were talking to an alcoholic who knows how to stay sober they would understand exactly what you are talking about.

Have you considered going to an AA meeting? I can assure you that you will be more then welcome. Why do this alone?

joey1391

wow still up meself,twitchy is a perfect word for this feeling sober since july 3 09.i have tried everything to stop the cravings. its hard some times stay strong

Wolfchild

The Hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!
People who are committed to helping others stay clean
and sober are always willing to be contacted at anytime.

Sharing here is great, but wouldn't it be nice to hear
a caring & loving voice share their recovery with you?

Speedbird286

I am just like you are when I go to stop drinking. Last night I really wanted to make day1 happen, but by 1000pm, I slipped and screwed that all up. Woke up at 11am not feeling great, and tired. Was mad at myself. I'm going to give it a go again tonight, and see how it goes. Congrats on making 42 days! That's a real accomplishment. The most I made was 19 about a year or so ago, so, good for you! I'll be around later if you're around. Good luck!