Originally Posted by xenodamus
Thank you for the replies and support. One of my biggest problems is that most of the time my desire to stop drinking leaves with the hangover. Does anyone else experience that? I wish I could recreate this feeling I have right now everytime I tell myself I don't have a problem.
Can you be an alcoholic and only drink on the weekends? I can put it down for a month at a time...no problem. But then I start thinking and telling myself I can drink normally if I decide to. Wrong. The wierd thing is that I can go to a restaurant and have a beer or two...or even mixed drinks...and I'm fine. The problem starts when I reach the point of buzzing. If I ever catch a buzz...it's over. I'll sneak drinks and do whatever is necessary to keep it going....and will continue to do so for days at a time if possible.
If I didn't have to work I would stay drunk 24 hours a day....7 days a week.
^------Saying that out loud makes it hard to reason that I don't have a problem.
Absolutely can you be an alcoholic and only drink on weekends! I was exactly like you. For years I'd tell myself that it was over with the drinking cos I felt so horrible hungover. Then I would feel all good again and I'd go back out. I did this over and over and over, and my drinking only got worse. In the end I was drinking alone to relieve hangovers, hiding it, lying about it. Then I'd tell myself that this insanity had to stop and I was "dry" for almost 3 months. Doing it alone didn't work for me, so I started again and ended in that visious cycle in no time. Now I'm in AA, and that has definetely made it much easier for me to stay stopped. It has given my life another meaning than to drink all the time! It's worth it I can tell you. It's hard at first, and the thoughts will tell you that you were exaggerating and you can drink once in a while etc, but just know that it's your disease talking and not the real, sensible "you". You will feel so much better in a few months staying sober and you'll be able to think clearly and live your life without these insane ups and downs.
I could also have a beer or two and leave it at that, but I would always end up blacking out, binge'ing again. Moderation just isn't an option for the most of us.
Give sobriety a shot and I recommend AA, it cannot hurt you and who knows if it doesn't make you feel much better, eh?
Good luck, mate!!