| meeshoo | 10-19-2009 11:27 AM |
New here
Hey, everyone. Today is day one for me- I've gone as long as a few weeks a bunch of times in the past 5 or so years but I need to do this permanently. I know about the risks of withdrawal but for some reason I haven't felt the physical effects the times that I have stopped minus being thirsty. I don't know why that is.
Brief background on me-
My dad is an alcoholic (was 20+ years sober before a relapse and 5+ years sober since then) and for that reason I was always afraid to drink. I didn't drink in college, no wild parties when I turned 21. Some of my friends would try to convince me to drink but I held strong. But over the next few years, I would have a drink now and then- if I went out on a date, wine over a friend's house, etc. It made me feel more "normal". Then it became that I couldn't wait until the weekend so I could drink (still out with friends). Then I got the great idea that hey, I could buy liquor and drink it at home. I could feel relaxed before my date. Now I drink every night. Rum is my drink of choice.
My friends and family have never approached me about having a problem- I don't know if that's because they don't know or just don't want to talk about it. I've managed to still go to work and do well in my job amongst other things that make me seem ok to outsiders. I used to work out 5 or 6 times a week but the past 8 months I'm lucky if I do it twice a week. I'd rather go straight home from work and drink. I feel tired, bloated, fat, lazy, and like I'm wasting my life away.
I have a large almost full bottle of rum that I need to dump out when I get home from work.
Thanks for reading this- I'm glad I found this place. | 