Nothing

Hello, So I fell off the wagon yesterday--it was a blackout drunk and I only remember bits and pieces. I'm really really lucky I'm not sitting in jail right now. I tried to hide it from my wife by driving a block from my house and sobering up in my car....well I must have fallen asleep because I remember a fire truck and police cars. In the end they let me drive a block home. How scary! Alcohol is a really scary drug!

I went to an outpatient program and was doing so well.......I need continued support to stay away from Alcohol.

least

Glad you're taking steps to ensure your sobriety. AA has helped many people get and stay sober. It's also good to make new sober friends and to be around people who understand what you're going thru.

Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support here.

Nothing

Thank you for the warm welcome :-)

ANGELINA243

Yes, indeed how scary and dangerous it can be. I can relate. I was a blackout drinker too. Glad to hear you are considering going to a meeting--it certainly couldn't hurt...just to see what its all about. I can assure you that situations like this--the blackout phases--and all the craziness that comes with it will only get worse the longer you drink. Glad to see that you are reaching out for help. You are not alone.

Wolfchild

Charmie

hello nothing and welcome to sr.there is plenty of support here.i was a blackout drinker too,,amongst other things! i went to AA as i also could not at all quit on my own,i had no power to do this,as far as will power with alcohol was concerned it was zilch.i have a few very good friends in AA a great sponsor and a good support network here on sr.i went to AA at the beginign of the year,got a sponsor and got on the 12 step recovery programme.my life has changed beyond recognition.i was a hopeless helpless drunk and so spriitually sick my head was permanently in the gutter.not so now,things are great and they can be for you too.honesty,open mindedness and willingness,,thats what you need,can you do that? i wish you well.

Nothing

I'm trying to be completely honest, but then my stinkin thinkin kicks in and I over rationalize. When I was in outpatient I didnt like the idea of the whole god thing in AA. After talking to some people who have gone they said to try different meetings if you dont like one, but dont give up....and I dont intend to.

NewMe11109

Yes, keep trying many different meetings and formats until you find one that you feel really comfortable in. Try to focus on all the things you like that you hear at the meeting (vs. getting caught up in all the reasons why you don't like it). You have already made progress accepting that you have a problem. Don't give up -- we are here for you.

gravity

It's too bad you weren't at my meeting yesterday. We read from the Big Book chapter "We Agnostics" and everyone shared a bit about their approaches to spiritualism. Only a couple of people identified themselves as Christians.

Yeah, I know the prayers, some of the Big Book, and some of the meeting shares can make it seem like a Christian based program but it really is all-inclusive.

By the way, it took me three months of going to meetings (twice a week) before I finally felt at home in AA. Give it your best shot!

Best wishes.

mirage

Glad you're here, Nothing! Wishing the best for you and your recovery! :ghug3

scoob

They don't bite. I went to my first meeting on Friday and I was sick with nerves.

I'm going back on Tuesday. Just knowing you're in a room of people who aren't judging you but there for you is very comforting and empowering.

EvilBunny

This actually made me feel better about myself. I've woke up in my car in a random parking lot with a firefighter tapping on the window many times. Alcohol really is a lot scarier than most people think.

Charmie

im glad you are going to keep going nothing,in the end i was willing to believe in little green men from mars to get sober,in other words i was willing to go to any lengths.it took me 7 months to find out which groups i wanted to attend regularly.now im in a group that has a real strong recovery message.its great.pm me any time you like,im still fairly new,i only got sober just under 9 months ago,but,i got straight to work with a great sponsor that gave me directions straight out of the big book.i am comfortable now with my conception of God.but i had to do the steps to get there.

CarolD

I too was a blackout drinker....with abstinance...they stopped immediately.

Welcome to our recovery community...

Hevyn

Welcome to the family, Nothing. It's hard to give up something you've clung to as an escape in the past. Something that was once fun & relaxing has now turned sour, & even dangerous. No one wants to have to admit it's not possible to manage it ever again. I almost died trying to figure out the magic formula so I could keep poisoning myself with it, and continue to have "fun".

As Gravity said, AA may seem Christian-based, but it was meant to be all-inclusive. I've been to about 10 court-ordered meetings, and no one mentioned God in any of them. I'm considering going to meetings again - this time I'll try to share and not just sit there and cry. I do know many who have been helped hugely by going regularly.

Hoping to hear more from you - this can be done, and it seems like you are ready for a new life.

yeahgr8

Well it is a God of your understanding, not necessarily a guy with a white beard throwing down lightening bolts:-)

Lots of athiests and agnostics in the program, you are not alone...get to a meeting and raise your concern either before or after in someones ear, they will point you to the right person! Or wait until you are so ****** that you would believe in the tooth fairy if you had a shot at staying sober...some do...

Good to see you posting!

Nothing

Thanks for all the encouragement everyone! The meeting I went to was called agnostics & atheists. I met several people I relate to. I will be returning.

This particular meeting is only every Sunday. I'm going to attend an "eye-opener" meeting tomorrow morning before work. Hope I like it as much as the meeting today--this one is right by my office. It would be really cool to get in the routine of meetings before work.

Charmie

its great you have this enthusiasm nothing,put as much work into getting sober as you did boozing,thats what was suggested to me,its just part of my life now,and its a pleasure compaired with the alternative.

Pinkcuda

That about sums it up. The key word is "helped"! Too many people come to AA thinking that AA is going to do it for them and sitting in meetings is all it takes.

Tosh

I came into AA an aeithist, and I suppose I'm more agnostic/god believing now, but I can't accept any 'organised religion'. I don't confuse spiritualism with religion! The Roman philosopher, Seneca, said that being spiritual was mostly about being good.

He also said most philosophy is an aspiration to live by.

Therefore I try to be good, and I aspire to live by the principles of the programme of AA, and I don't need religion; though I do have a HP.

I hope some of this makes sense; there's no hard and fast rules in AA; but it's a fantastic programme, a brilliant fellowship, and I am enjoying the new life I've been given.