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Old 10-15-2009, 01:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Alcoholics in the Friends & Family Section & Vice Versa?


Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to get a consensus on this topic from both sides if possible. I tend to use the "New Posts" button whenever I come here & when I do all of the latest Friends & Family subjects come up as well as the Alcohol/Substance abuse section.

I do find myself going over to the other side on occasion if the topic is interesting & have sometimes found myself wanting to post on a subject but stopped myself as I didn't want to offend anyone or have them think I was invading their space as it were (feels a little different even going there ;-).

On occasion I have seen some people post here in response from the F & F section and I personally have found their insight valuable being that they have experienced a completely different side of alcoholism.

Curious as to what F & F and the Substance Abuse sections (inc. alcohol) think of this topic. Please share your ESH.

P.S. I have also thought it might be good to have the sections separate in the search request so that I could view all of the topics related to my addiction (sometimes there are multiple pages of mixed results that stop showing up as I go from page to page (too many results). Hopefully that makes sense lol. I could just go from section to section etc.

Thanks for reading & sharing your thoughts & all of the best in your recovery regardless of which side addiction has touched your life

Take Care,

NB
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Old 10-15-2009, 03:28 AM   #2 (permalink)
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(((((NB)))))

I am a sober alcoholic with over 28 years in recovery, and I am also a co-dependent with over 25 years in recovery, a 'double winner'. I post in F&F and I post in other forums also.

To my knowledge, as long as posts are not derogatory toward other posters on a topic all are welcome ......................... the more ES&H the better.

There are several of us that post in the F&F who started our recovery as an alkie and/or addict.

Hope that helps.

J M H O

Love and hugs,
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Old 10-15-2009, 03:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hmmm i sometimes read some of the F&F stuff but not often...i think me posting there would be as appropriate as me going to an Al-anon meeting...simply because i was the trouble in people's lives, no-one has ever been a trouble in mine.

I also know both sides are as sick as the other, the alchie/addict and the non-alchie/addict that stays with the former but have no experience to share with the latter so i don't:-)
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Old 10-15-2009, 06:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laurie6781 View Post
There are several of us that post in the F&F who started our recovery as an alkie and/or addict.
Me included!
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Old 10-15-2009, 06:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I post there occasionally. I posted a lot when I first got home from treatment.... I had lots of worries, confusion, etc.... re family issues... I don't regret a single post. Also, there are times when the input of an alcoholic in recovery is very welcome and can help the ESH being shared.

I appreciate very much the insight a family member or spouse can bring to any discussion... well, almost any ....

I am ACoA... my father started recovery when I went to college... I don't spend much time there because I don't need to, but I've gained some valuable self knowledge from understanding our common issues....

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Old 10-15-2009, 07:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I do on occasion. Sometime I read things that hurt to read and I do NOT post a reply. On the other hand sometime I see that a family member is suffering and I will have something to share that I feel is beneficial, so yes, then I will post, as long as it is constructive.

I've also found that F&F folks can also be supportive on our side as well. So it's nice that in some ways we can still support each other from our different sides of the fence.
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Old 10-15-2009, 07:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Yeah, just one thing, and you mentioned it so it's probably not an issue, but there have been posters that dropped in-probably both sides, probably myself included-and took an attack position.

Not good. I post in both, having been raised in an alcoholic household, having relationship(s) with alcoholics and addicts, and being a recovering alcoholic myself.

So I can offer some insight, I am probably a little harder on the alcoholics/addicts than the codependents, admittedly. Probably should be a little softer.
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Old 10-15-2009, 11:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I post in both, having been raised in an alcoholic household, having relationship(s) with alcoholics and addicts, and being a recovering alcoholic myself.
Ditto... recovering addict/alcoholic here, with many past relationships with both. I post where I feel my experience and perspectives are relevant and possibly helpful.
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Old 10-15-2009, 11:22 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm a double winner.

My immediate focus is more on my AH, whose drinking history is much different than mine, more progressed. I quit without any third party help, other than some books. He is in rehab now, which I never experienced. I appreciate the perspective of those whose drinking history more closely resembles his than mine, so I like reading this forum.

I also post on this forum since I have 6 years of sobriety after 30 years of alcohol abuse, and would like to provide some hope to those beginning their journey into sobriety. I am very interested in hearing other's perspective. Goodness knows I don't have all the answers, or even know all the questions.

John, I enjoy your posts in both forums.
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Old 10-15-2009, 11:44 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I tend to think of SR as similar to and use it much like my face to face meetings. (I'm on the Anon side of the world.) At my Al Anon meetings, there are people who come in as "double winners" which means they have worked a program of recovery for their own addiction or alcoholism, and now they are coming in to learn a different program of recovery for friends and family. They usually get a sponsor and work the 12 steps again, with a focus on healing relationships etc from the family member point of view.

In my face to face meetings, it's suggested that you don't identify yourself as a member of another 12 step group and to leave any agenda outside. If you're at an Al Anon meeting, it means you're there to learn about our program. If we as Anon's want to learn more about what goes on with A's? We go to open AA or open NA meetings where we can listen.

SR is different from face to face meetings in that anyone can go anywhere to read and post (except the Men's and Women's lounge. Opposite sex? Stay out!) It gets dicey here when an A comes into the Family and Friends section (or vice versa) to offer advice, perspective or their own pearls of wisdom. Sometimes it's great and it's just what the OP (original poster) needed to hear. Other times it can be spiteful or hurtful. Each alcoholic situation is different. We try to keep things on point - each person should share his/her own experience, strength and hope as it applies to a particular topic. If that's the way it's working, then everyone benefits.

I hope that made sense.
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