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Old 10-16-2009, 11:28 PM   #41 (permalink)
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>>xge910 wrote:

>> the house that i build with a set of tools will be
>>different from the house you build from the same tools !!

>tricky164 wrote:

>what ? it wont have windows in yours ? it wont have doors ?
>it wont have lights ? it wont have bedrooms ? it wont have a
>kitchen ? it wont have floors ? it wont have a celing ? it wont
>have seats in it ? it wont have a roof on it ?.

>what sort of house you building ? a submarine ?

no, i'm sorry to say you do not understand my point.
In your house you may want the bed room to look out
on the garden, and fill with the afternoon sun. In my
house, i want to see the mountins and have the room
warmed with the morning light. neither house is wrong
or right. We both use the same tools, to build what fits
us best

>peace and fellowship to you.
>god bless your house.

live long and prosper and may the force be with you
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:26 AM   #42 (permalink)
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I quit drinking this February. No relapse and no big issues.

I realized after I had quit that one of my closest friends has actually been a successful moderate drinker - restricting himself to no more than two drinks each time he goes out. Only two, never three. I also discovered there were other friends and acquaintances who used to drink heavily but decided to severely restrict their intake of alcohol and have successfully done so for decades without a lot of effort.
  • It helped me realize that there are probably a lot of successful moderate drinkers out there that we don't necessarily know about but are around us just the same.
  • I also thought had I known about it before I quit, it's a route I would have tried first before quitting drinking 100%. Since I treasure and prefer myself 100% sober, there is no way I would risk all of that now. So while moderation might have been a solution for me, that ship has sailed, so it's not an option I'm interested in exploring.

If someone thinks they might have a problem with alcohol, I think this board provides an excellent resource. And, unless it's clear* that they are hitting a hard bottom as a result of their drinking, I would encourage them to try moderation. If it works for them .. fine. Otherwise, similar to any of us who have suffered a relapse, they know where to go for advice and support. For people who find moderation fails after a few attempts, they are probably better off trying to find ways to abstain.

If anyone who has been sober for months, years, or even decades, and starts wondering whether moderation might be for them, I'd give them the same advice I give myself: don't risk it as you can't afford to be wrong.



* "clear" is relative. A drunk could be awaiting trial for his DUI, fired from his job, and recently lost his wife due to his drinking and still claim he has not yet hit his bottom.
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Old 10-17-2009, 02:31 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by me11109 View Post
I think, for an alcoholic, "trying to moderate one's drinking" is an important step towards realizing that one is powerless over alcohol. For many people, it is helpful to let them create a moderation goal for themselves and then see if they can achieve it. If they can, great (and yes, perhaps they aren't alcoholic), but if they can't - and they are willing to be honest with themselves - then this is powerful evidence of alcoholism.
^^^ This... I agree. People have to try and and find out for themselves... who are we to judge?
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Old 10-17-2009, 04:46 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Ive done the moderation route.
for what its was worth.....

i think i had to get a true measure of the dilemma i was in.
i wanted to drink like a man.......what i found was my life became unbearable.

i have an on/off switch.......there is no middle ground.

i believe that makes me a real alcoholic.....because of what happens when i drink..and what happens when i dont drink.

maybe the people that post about moderation are on that ""getting a full measure of the problem""...learning curve.

and would that be right to deny them that vital self discovery?

imo........people that have a lingering notion that they can drink with moderation.... will attempt it.

hopefully i will be of help to them when the [email protected] hits the fan and they realize alcoholism has nothing to do with moderation..
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Old 10-17-2009, 06:38 AM   #45 (permalink)
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I've also tried moderation. 2 beers, 3 beers, 3 beers and a shot. For me I've discovered that it's always a pull towards oblivion. I can do it for a while but not for very long. I WANT to keep on drinking, there's this huge part of me that always wants MORE! Then I'll be back to wanting alcohol out of my system and out of my life because it becomes an obsession which makes me unable to live life how I want to live it.

"Just don't drink so much", I've been told. It just doesn't really makes sense to me. Cuz how can I control it after a few? I loose control after some time with booze. I could have a beer right now and leave it at that! But it would most definetely land me back to the place I was when I wanted to quit. Maybe it would take a week, maybe months. It doesn't matter, alcohol is always a slippery slope for me. I really just want that stuff out of my life and out of my consciousness.

If some people can moderate, that's great for them! For me, moderating would just mean more obsessing about a stuff I really hate!
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Old 10-17-2009, 07:05 AM   #46 (permalink)
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"To those who can do the right about face and drink like a gentlemen our hats are off"

I can't do it plain and simple... i'm sure there are people who can. They are problem drinkers not real red blooded alkies. More power to them
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Old 10-17-2009, 03:04 PM   #47 (permalink)
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well, the trick is to drink one or two and then stop, every single time... I find that after even one, I can't control it... I believe people should experiment and find their own way, but, personally, I find it impossible...
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