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Old 10-10-2009, 11:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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4 months.


OK, so here i sit. It's 1:00 A.M.and i'm pretty restless. Backed off my meetings after i did my 90 in 90. I actually did more like 120+ in 90. I started to feel kinda burned out so after i reached my goal i decided to hit 1 a week, Saturday night where i'm treasurer. I'm gonna start working with the local workforce center about work. I think the meds are working. I haven't felt this level in years. As much time as i spend sitting around the house i don't seem to be sitting in my head nearly as much. I'm not feeling as hopeless and full of dread as i used to. I wouldn't say i feel spectacular, but it's the best i've felt in recent memory. The future stills scares me, but i haven't been dwelling on it as much. I hit my knees in the morning when i get up and at night when i go to bed. Things just seems smoother when i do this consistently. My mind still tries to tell me i don't need meetings, or people, or prayer, or God, that i'm unique and different than others but i know that voice lies and doesn't want me to succeed........at anything. The meetings with my psychologist are going very well. I can talk to him about things i can't or won't in meetings. I really like the guy. When i met him the 1st time i thought i had walked into a sitcom. When i think of a shrink this is exactly what i pictured in my head. Little old Jewish guy from the east coast. I'm having a really hard time staying with a sponsor. I have a really hard time getting close to people. My 1st sponsor i let go because i thought i found a better 1 in my 4th step workshop. He is 1 of the facilitators. Haven't called him in weeks and to be honest i'm a little pissed he hasn't called me either. I'm gonna look for one that is more local to me and i can relate to better. My desire to drink/use is still pretty much a non issue. I have no desire but my head uses this against me by telling me if i have no desire i don't need meetings. It's an argument of contradictions. Always a good time in my head. Oh yah, i hit 4 months yesterday. :praying
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Old 10-10-2009, 11:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
JUST DO IT!!
 
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Yeah I am pretty restless tonight or this morning also

Back when I first got into the program in 2002 I did 298 meeting is 90 days my goal was 300 and I got depressed. Than someone said, "hey you might have just counted wrong or forgot to add one in a couple times on my check list."

Yep the way my head can go at times.

:day1

Way to go on 4 months that is cool!
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Old 10-10-2009, 11:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Congratulations Tim - that's a great milestone

D
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Old 10-11-2009, 12:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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4 months for the Resident Grateful Guy... that is a great milestone. Congrats.

And a great positive post--they seem to be coming in bunches these days.


-TB
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Old 10-11-2009, 02:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Congrats on four months SomeCallMeTim
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Old 10-11-2009, 06:50 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 10-11-2009, 06:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
6/20/08
 

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4 months is wonderful! I think the part of sobriety that many people don't 'get'....is that it isn't spectacular, and it is hard work. It is also so worth it...as you have learned.

I don't do AA, so have nothing to base this on....but maybe going from a ton of meetings to just one a week could be causing some problems for you? I don't know, but to go from a ton of support to very little would drive me nuts.

A huge congrats on your sober time!
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Old 10-11-2009, 11:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Congrats Tim on four months sober!
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Old 10-11-2009, 08:11 PM   #9 (permalink)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Old 10-12-2009, 06:48 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Congrats on 4 months!

I'll be at 4 months in a week
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Old 10-12-2009, 07:19 AM   #11 (permalink)
FREAKING AWESOME!
 
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Old 10-12-2009, 08:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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grats on 4 months
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Old 10-12-2009, 08:11 AM   #13 (permalink)
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