4 months.
 

OK, so here i sit. It's 1:00 A.M.and i'm pretty restless. Backed off my meetings after i did my 90 in 90. I actually did more like 120+ in 90. I started to feel kinda burned out so after i reached my goal i decided to hit 1 a week, Saturday night where i'm treasurer. I'm gonna start working with the local workforce center about work. I think the meds are working. I haven't felt this level in years. As much time as i spend sitting around the house i don't seem to be sitting in my head nearly as much. I'm not feeling as hopeless and full of dread as i used to. I wouldn't say i feel spectacular, but it's the best i've felt in recent memory. The future stills scares me, but i haven't been dwelling on it as much. I hit my knees in the morning when i get up and at night when i go to bed. Things just seems smoother when i do this consistently. My mind still tries to tell me i don't need meetings, or people, or prayer, or God, that i'm unique and different than others but i know that voice lies and doesn't want me to succeed........at anything. The meetings with my psychologist are going very well. I can talk to him about things i can't or won't in meetings. I really like the guy. When i met him the 1st time i thought i had walked into a sitcom. When i think of a shrink this is exactly what i pictured in my head. Little old Jewish guy from the east coast. I'm having a really hard time staying with a sponsor. I have a really hard time getting close to people. My 1st sponsor i let go because i thought i found a better 1 in my 4th step workshop. He is 1 of the facilitators. Haven't called him in weeks and to be honest i'm a little pissed he hasn't called me either. I'm gonna look for one that is more local to me and i can relate to better. My desire to drink/use is still pretty much a non issue. I have no desire but my head uses this against me by telling me if i have no desire i don't need meetings. It's an argument of contradictions. Always a good time in my head. Oh yah, i hit 4 months yesterday. :praying

Yeah I am pretty restless tonight or this morning also :lmao

Back when I first got into the program in 2002 I did 298 meeting is 90 days my goal was 300 and I got depressed. Than someone said, "hey you might have just counted wrong or forgot to add one in a couple times on my check list."

Yep the way my head can go at times.

:day1

Way to go on 4 months that is cool!

Congratulations Tim - that's a great milestone :)
:scoregood
D

4 months for the Resident Grateful Guy... that is a great milestone. Congrats.

And a great positive post--they seem to be coming in bunches these days.
:cheer

-TB

Congrats on four months SomeCallMeTim :scoregood

:c011:

4 months is wonderful! I think the part of sobriety that many people don't 'get'....is that it isn't spectacular, and it is hard work. It is also so worth it...as you have learned.

I don't do AA, so have nothing to base this on....but maybe going from a ton of meetings to just one a week could be causing some problems for you? I don't know, but to go from a ton of support to very little would drive me nuts.

A huge congrats on your sober time!

Congrats Tim on four months sober!:c029:

:funjump:

Congrats on 4 months!

I'll be at 4 months in a week:)

:c011:

grats on 4 months :)

:a122: