94 Days Sober... The Reward
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
94 Days Sober... The Reward
I am doing very well in my new job which i started 6 weeks ago. I am respected by everyone and achieving good results consistantly and being recognised by managers etc for this. It feels good to be actually doing well in my job and being congratulated rather than always trying to avoid management etc and just thinking of them all as "wankers".
I had work today at 9AM and this didn't faze me at all, in fact quite the opposite, I actually enjoyed being there and I woke up feeling fresh, awake alert and positive and 5PM came round so quickly I could hardly believe it.
It is funny because I spent a few moments thinking how I would have been so P*ssed off that I had to be in work Saturday morning previously when i was drinking as Friday night was my Binge night, I would have been seething that i had to go in to work on a Saturday morning and I would have been in a foul mood all day and likely pissed off my manager and would have been continuously clock watching to get the hell out of there and get wasted!!
I have been driving in my new car for 4 weeks which is great to be back driving to and from work etc and to have my independance after losing my license for 2 years through drink driving. I don't have any worry of drink driving again and having my license taken away again for at least 3years and maybe prison. Feels great to not have that worry.
I don't have to worry about being caught in possession of drugs that I don't even remember buying because I was so wasted. I don't have to worry about all that crazy stuff anymore like not remembering what I said to someone who i work with when i saw them out and i was wasted.
I have my self respect back, people call me the dark-horse as I am fairly quiet and well-mannered and seem like "such a nice boy (haha)". If only they knew what I was like when i was drinking!!! haha, always makes me smile to myself!
I had a brief moment in the car driving home from work where i could literally taste a cold can of K cider 8.4% but I soon quashed that thought and "played the tape through" and I would have not acted upon those thoughts as they are only very,very brief and they soon pass when i talk it through with my mother when i got back home.
What these past 94 days have proven to me is that I am able to achieve anything that i set my mind to as long as I remain sober. I am going to be applying to go back to university next year and I know I will achieve very highly as long as I remain sober. Sure i have to make sacrifices; for example spending Saturday night playing xbox/guitar and writing here on SR but I know that it is undoubtably worth it and that all I would truly want to do anyway is just get absolutely smashed on my own once I had got the feeling again and I wouldn't want to/be able to stop once i started. NO THANKS!!
Sobriety really is about looking at the bigger picture; sure i could go out and for two-three hours feel buzzing/drunk as the booze and drugs hit but what then? Back to a life of unemployment, no self-respect, alcohol addiction and living for the next drunk. I have been there and I made the decision that i never wanted to return and I would have never believed it possible to be where i am now a few months ago when I first seriously tried getting sober.
Sure i still have insecurities about myself and occassionally crave some of the madness and insanity of being "on the sesh", but on the whole undoubtably sobriety and all it brings, beats chemical addiction and alcoholism hands down every-time; and It's sooo much less stressfull!!!! haha.
Peace and love xxx
I had work today at 9AM and this didn't faze me at all, in fact quite the opposite, I actually enjoyed being there and I woke up feeling fresh, awake alert and positive and 5PM came round so quickly I could hardly believe it.
It is funny because I spent a few moments thinking how I would have been so P*ssed off that I had to be in work Saturday morning previously when i was drinking as Friday night was my Binge night, I would have been seething that i had to go in to work on a Saturday morning and I would have been in a foul mood all day and likely pissed off my manager and would have been continuously clock watching to get the hell out of there and get wasted!!
I have been driving in my new car for 4 weeks which is great to be back driving to and from work etc and to have my independance after losing my license for 2 years through drink driving. I don't have any worry of drink driving again and having my license taken away again for at least 3years and maybe prison. Feels great to not have that worry.
I don't have to worry about being caught in possession of drugs that I don't even remember buying because I was so wasted. I don't have to worry about all that crazy stuff anymore like not remembering what I said to someone who i work with when i saw them out and i was wasted.
I have my self respect back, people call me the dark-horse as I am fairly quiet and well-mannered and seem like "such a nice boy (haha)". If only they knew what I was like when i was drinking!!! haha, always makes me smile to myself!
I had a brief moment in the car driving home from work where i could literally taste a cold can of K cider 8.4% but I soon quashed that thought and "played the tape through" and I would have not acted upon those thoughts as they are only very,very brief and they soon pass when i talk it through with my mother when i got back home.
What these past 94 days have proven to me is that I am able to achieve anything that i set my mind to as long as I remain sober. I am going to be applying to go back to university next year and I know I will achieve very highly as long as I remain sober. Sure i have to make sacrifices; for example spending Saturday night playing xbox/guitar and writing here on SR but I know that it is undoubtably worth it and that all I would truly want to do anyway is just get absolutely smashed on my own once I had got the feeling again and I wouldn't want to/be able to stop once i started. NO THANKS!!
Sobriety really is about looking at the bigger picture; sure i could go out and for two-three hours feel buzzing/drunk as the booze and drugs hit but what then? Back to a life of unemployment, no self-respect, alcohol addiction and living for the next drunk. I have been there and I made the decision that i never wanted to return and I would have never believed it possible to be where i am now a few months ago when I first seriously tried getting sober.
Sure i still have insecurities about myself and occassionally crave some of the madness and insanity of being "on the sesh", but on the whole undoubtably sobriety and all it brings, beats chemical addiction and alcoholism hands down every-time; and It's sooo much less stressfull!!!! haha.
Peace and love xxx
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Awesome post! I tried to put a word to what you are experiencing / describing and the best I could come up with was "positive life momentum". You can't put your finger on exactly what is happening to you, but it just feels right. Well done! Your way of writing about it is really inspiring. Thanks.
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