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Old 10-08-2009, 09:16 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Just a quick one, and these are just personal thoughts I'm typing quickly: In terms of your soul being you -- your soul is the true you, your foundation. The ego is then laid on top of it. It's your ego that wants and needs. It's the ego that likes or doesn't like things. The ego tries to lay a historically-based framework of understanding over everything it experiences, where the soul just accepts and is. It's the soul you're not just seeing but connecting with when you are in the presence of a newborn baby. The soul, your soul, is what connects you to the rest of creation, the universe, the divine -- the divine not necessarily being a person with robes, but something that when we open out hearts and souls we experience all the time but just can't put our finger on it. Then our egos tell us this must be horse**** simply because we can't literally put our finger on it.
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Old 10-08-2009, 09:20 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Hi there Saphie

Alot of insightful stuff posted on this thread!

As for those crazy thoughts you've got.... well, I guess you are not alone! No! Rephrase.... YOU DEFINITELY ARE NOT ALONE!!!! I think we all go through, or have gone through a myriad of thoughts similar, if not exactly, like yours! Take comfort in knowing we all have delusional thoughts of grandeur and the possibility one day we can possibly drink like normies out there. I'm not saying everyone.... but at some point, probably all of us had.

You have a great openness and expressing yourself here amongst us is a GOOD thing! You've certainly got me thinking!

As for God.... for me personally..... I believe in Him. I seek a relationship with Him and in turn get one! We all get out of God, spirtuality, etc... what we put into it and try to develop. That's my opinion and am NOT looking to offend or dissuade any others personal feelings/thoughts on this whatsoever. Just settin' the record straight on that!

Again, thank you for posting! Have a great day!
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Old 10-08-2009, 09:39 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Hi Saphie. Lots of good info here. I might just add try a few more AA meetings, and if you are in a big enough town, different ones. Every meeting has a different personality and if you look, you'll likely find one that suits you.

One of my best friends in AA is a hardcore theist, but that has not stopped him from finding a higher power and staying sober. He got his 6 year chip a month or so ago.
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Old 10-08-2009, 09:44 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
I'm sorry if I made my thinking too deep and complex.
In AA we say to keep it simple and that is what I try to do, ever notice how much happier most young kids seem to be then adults? They keep it simple.

I have a sponsee that was all eat up with trying to "Understand" who or what his HP was. Well he shares today that he finally just decided to give his HP a chance to help him instead of trying to "Understand" who or what his HP was. Bingo!!! As he puts it, he finally got his concept of his HP.

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I do have to say Taz that linking creation by god to evolution is talking religion
Yep! and that is why I also said "so let me just say this and drop it right there!" That is simply what I beleive, doesn't mean that a single other person in the world has to feel that way or not, what I beleive only matters to me, now if I was ramming it down some one elses throat saying "My way or the highway" then me being a jerk feeling that way is my problem.

Funny thing, but I can honestly say I could care less about what another persons personal beliefs are, all I do is simply respect their right to beleive the way they do.

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I take spiritual to mean having reverence for all things, especially my body and mind.
Well said Zen.

chrisinaustin well explained.
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Old 10-08-2009, 09:52 AM   #25 (permalink)
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You don't like discussing politics? I think it was George Bush that drove me to drink!



kind of joking
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Old 10-08-2009, 10:10 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Wow - I'm sorry I caused such a stir with my own confusion. That was not my intention. I know everybody has different beliefs, different Gods, different ways and I would never take the liberty of critizising any of them. You all have given me different inside looks to what has worked for your sobriety and I have realised that part of my recovery is finding what works for me. I'd like to say trial and error, but I can't afford the error.
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Old 10-08-2009, 10:15 AM   #27 (permalink)
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YOU NEVER created a stir! Please let that be over and done with in your mind! You've reached out and shared and the rest is outta your hands. You've been truly beneficial with this thread for surely many and seeing different points of view. No worries, friend! All is good! Take a deep breathe and relax!
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Old 10-08-2009, 01:58 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I'm with nickishine. You didn't start anything! Keep posting.
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Old 10-08-2009, 02:34 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Hi Saphie

I've never been associated with any particular programme, but I agree with Anna - there's more to staying sober than just not drinking...no matter what approach you use you need to find some worth in living soberly and in a sober you...

For me it was a lot of service work - I spent a lot of years self absorbed - it was really good for me to reach outside myself and help others...

I can't tell you how you can find that worth for yourself Saphie...except to say...it's not in a bottle....

keep looking for it

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Old 10-09-2009, 02:39 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Saphie I really do not feel there has been any sort of stir in this thread, if any thing I think we have seen a lot of folks share some great stuff and there has been very little if any disrespect shown for the beleifs of others.

If you are simply willing and you keep seeking you will find something that works for you.

Be patient, be kind and forgiving of your self, it will all work out if you work at it.
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Old 10-09-2009, 04:41 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Yea Saphie, I agree with Taz... You mentioned the struggle you were having with the higher power thing... People responded, some share the same struggle you have, some don't.... either because they don't believe and others, because they do. I, personally, was very impressed with the civility shown in the responses... I think SR is a very special place with people who have a common goal... sobriety, maybe their paths are different... and that's just OK.

Keep posting!

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Old 10-09-2009, 04:50 AM   #32 (permalink)
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You've all been great. It would be an understatement if I was to say I'm not very argumentative. That's why I probably crawled under my desk when I read all the different opinions following my thread. I needed to hear and read all that. I still don't know which way to follow, but I realize now that that is perfectly normal and my full recovery can not be completed in week 1 step 1 week 2 step 2 etc. It will take the rest of my life and facing/accepting that fact alone in 15 days sober is pretty good going I think. Of course tomorrow I might be totally confused again and post another thread, but as for today I feel proud to be sober. You keep my strength going.
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Old 10-09-2009, 04:58 AM   #33 (permalink)
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You should be proud Saphie...15 days is great. I like to keep things simple and remember that even at times when I felt as if I was beyond human aid I was not...feelings are not facts. Each one of us has the power to change our lives...it takes time and determination. Stay strong and climb out from under your desk!! LOL
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Old 10-09-2009, 05:45 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Saphie you are doing great, stay in the day, keep it simple, keep workiing at it, you will find something if you keep an open mind.

You know Saphie I spent many a year thinking I had control, I was the one in charge, heck I recall driving around a parking lot making deals with God if he would just get me a parking space........... well I would go around to the next row and there it was!!! An empty parking spot!!! Of course instead of thanking God I would say in my head "Never mind God, I Found one without you!"

How foolish I was, I spent my whole life asking God for help when the chips were down and when he pulled my butt out of the fire I was in did I give him the least bit of credit? Heck no, in no time at all I would be bragging about how I had got myself out of this jam or that!

After reaching the point in my drinking where I had to drink just to function every day or bad things would start to happen to me, I finally admitted that I alone could not stop or stay stopped drinking, I needed help!

I finally have learned that I alone can not stay sober, but WE can!

I never again will ask others or God for help and then when I get it take all the credit myself.

BTW I use the word God because it is just easier then saying "A higher Power of my understanding" God and a lot of other folks help me stay sober, do not get me wrong, in the end it is all up to me to accept the help & guidance of others and to make the right decisions, but I do not make them alone, but I do take full responsibilty for all of my actions.
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Old 10-12-2009, 05:19 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Everyone's already said the good stuff - so I'll just agree that it is definitely normal for your feelings to be all over the place in the beginning. It's different for all of us, but for me it took a few months to calm down and stop being so emotional & confused. I had to learn to live again in a new way, and I went through many phases on my journey. It all gets easier and better as we go along, so don't be discouraged, my friend.
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Old 10-12-2009, 06:30 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Very good thread, Saphie. Lots of good advice. Taz and Chris...thanks.....you put in words what I needed to.

Saphie, early sobriety is tough. It's a choice to use. The longer you are thinking about making that choice a sober one....the longer you start to 'get' sobriety. And then, it gets easier.

You don't have to believe in God or AA...but you do have to believe in you.
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