The empty room
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
The empty room
Just a few short weeks ago, I was in the ballroom of life, getting drunk as usual and watching the people laugh, cling glasses together and dance the night away. Then the party ended and I stuck around, finally finding myself alone in the room with my drink. Now my drink is finished and I stand alone in the room. That's ok. It's time to leave this room of unfulfilled dreams and enter the rooms where others are getting healthy and finding new ways to live. Why do the doors to the AA meetings seem 20 feet tall?
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
I just wrote this lengthy response to you and it vanished 
In short.... those doors are the scarriest to get through for some reason. I think it's because we know that "they know" exactly why we're there. I don't know..... I do know that once through to the otherside it can be amazing! A whole new world and relationships await you!
Step through the fear and you'll be amazed, friend! So glad the glass is half full today (with h20, juice, coffee or tea)!!!
and xxxxx!
In short.... those doors are the scarriest to get through for some reason. I think it's because we know that "they know" exactly why we're there. I don't know..... I do know that once through to the otherside it can be amazing! A whole new world and relationships await you!
Step through the fear and you'll be amazed, friend! So glad the glass is half full today (with h20, juice, coffee or tea)!!!
and xxxxx!
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I look around at the gatherings before and after an AA meeting and I see a party with out a drink
Celebrating life, free of chains from alcohol and drugs, no more self imposed pain.
It's a great life sober if, you choose to live that way !!
Celebrating life, free of chains from alcohol and drugs, no more self imposed pain.
It's a great life sober if, you choose to live that way !!
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Oh Firestorm, 
they really aren't that heavy or tall, they will fly open to welcome you and you will feel a real sense of belonging. I remember thinking I am finally home, no one judging me or not understanding what I was feeling, it really was a sigh of relief that I was no longer alone.
they really aren't that heavy or tall, they will fly open to welcome you and you will feel a real sense of belonging. I remember thinking I am finally home, no one judging me or not understanding what I was feeling, it really was a sigh of relief that I was no longer alone.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Why do the doors to the AA meetings seem 20 feet tall?
Think about that that first day of school.............. scared to death!!! Of what? The unknown! But was it all that bad? Heck no.
Think about that that first day of a new job!!!!
Look I can promise you that you will not be forced to do ANYTHING!!!! There are no rules in AA except rule # 62 which states "You can not take yourself to seriously!"
Who knows, you may find some leads on a new job there. You will be amazed to find people from EVERY walk of life there, from the homeless to doctors, lawyers and even an occasional minister.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by firestorm090 
I was in the ballroom of life, getting drunk as usual and watching the people laugh, cling glasses together and dance the night away.
Why do the doors to the AA meetings seem 20 feet tall?
I romanticized the drinking myself a lot early on... Sometimes, but much less frequently, I still finding myself doing it... Pictures in magazines, people happy around the table sipping wine, or enjoying a martini, or newscasts that interview the average joe with a pint in his hand at the local sports bar....
Thankfully it doesn't elicit that deep physical response it used to. The farther away I get away from all that, the less I think about it.... A neon sign is just that now, thank God.
Hmm... I just quit trying to reconcile all that... For me, the antidote was in the cheesy slogans... one day at a time, don't drink and go to meetings, utilize don't analyze... And eventually, well, I just don't see it all with the glamour I used to attach to it...
The doors are 20 feet tall so they can let every one in... they really aren't so hard to open.
Hang in there...
Mark
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Originally Posted by firestorm090
Just a few short weeks ago, I was in the dungeon ballroom of life, getting drunk and stupid as usual and watching the people laugh act like idiots, cling glasses together and dance and fall over the night away. Then the party ended and I stuck around, finally finding myself alone in the room with my drink. Now my drink is finished and I stand alone in the room. You are not alone. That's ok. It's time to leave this room of unfulfilled dreams and enter the rooms where others are getting healthy and finding new ways to live. Why do the doors to the AA meetings seem 20 feet tall?
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
For me, the doors to ANY room where groups of people meet feel that tall. The alcohol just made it EASY for me to walk through and mingle. It's hard for me now, without that drink in my hand and that buzz in my brain, to approach a group of people ANYWHERE. Sharing this is very difficult for me right now; I'm starting to cry. So thanks for sharing firestorm. I hope I'm not the only one who feels like this.
so glad to have you back with us 
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by firestorm090
Just a few short weeks ago, I was in the ballroom of life, getting drunk as usual and watching the people laugh, cling glasses together and dance the night away. Then the party ended and I stuck around, finally finding myself alone in the room with my drink. Now my drink is finished and I stand alone in the room. That's ok. It's time to leave this room of unfulfilled dreams and enter the rooms where others are getting healthy and finding new ways to live. Why do the doors to the AA meetings seem 20 feet tall?
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I just met this like 4 or 5 meeting a week kind of guy up here D. He was talking about how much he loves (not loved) bars, and hanging out with all of his fellow football fans at such in such bar every sunday. He know the ins and out of a bunch of the different meetings around here, and has found his favorite ones to go to week in and week out. When he talks about them, they sound like they fulfill that exact same sense of belonging that the bars used to give him. Anyway, seriously man, it will click one day. One day, you will know all the guys at your favorite meeting, and you will go early and stay late, and shoot the sh!t and have coffee and cookies and BELONG. Sometimes it takes a really, really long time D, but it will happen for you. And really, whats the alternative? You already know you can't live a happy, meaningful and productive life of joy while drinking, so this is your chance right?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Thanks Oz,
You're right, my friend and I appreciate your support and guidance.
I sure have a thick skull, seems like it's encased in two to three inches of concrete at times, but every now and then something sinks through.
You're right, my friend and I appreciate your support and guidance.
I sure have a thick skull, seems like it's encased in two to three inches of concrete at times, but every now and then something sinks through.
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