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Trying this again....

Old 10-06-2009, 11:22 PM
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A new dawn and new chapter
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Trying this again....

I've been drinking again. That drive and passion I had for a few months where I hardly thought twice about drinking seem to of have gone up in smoke. And now it only seems when I'm sitting around hungover do I think about trying to get back on the wagon again. But come a day, two, or three later that gets thrown right out the window and all my mind seems to be wrapped around is getting drunk again. And that vicious cycle of wishing I was sober when I was drunk and dreaming of being drunk when I'm sober starts up all over again.

What worries me is like i don't care anymore. I mean I do care and dont want to get all messed up again. I got a good job after spending almost a year on unemployment which I've already got into a little trouble after having some to hungover to work days and I just KNOW if this keeps up I very well can lose my job. but it's like I don't care anymore when I still do if that makes any sence. I don't know what else to put here, just god save me from myself.....
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Old 10-06-2009, 11:48 PM
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Aloha Bard,

Your last sentence is a good place to start. God did save us from ourselves, 2000 years ago when Jesus came to pay the ultimate price. Addiction is not just that, there are things on the inside that need to be cleaned out and dealt with, and no one does it quite like God. Donít beat yourself, just do this one more time, donít give up, and donít give in! Just look up and ask God for the help you need, He will meet you right where you are. You can do this, one day at a time, and if you have to do this 10 minutes at a time, then that is what you do. Have a thankful heart, when you are clean for an hour; be thankful for that hour, then two, then three, and so on. Before you know it a week, a month, then a year. This will pass, you will win this battle, just say no to the alcohol, and yes to God!
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Old 10-07-2009, 04:15 AM
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Old 10-07-2009, 05:12 AM
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Bard what did you do before to stay sober? Did you quit doing it?

If you changed nothing then nothing really changed.
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Old 10-07-2009, 05:57 AM
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Get back up on the wagon and start all over again. And this time, try something you haven't tried before to stay sober, whether it's AA or another program or counseling or whatever, just do something different from what you were doing to stay sober. It CAN be done. Don't give up!
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Old 10-07-2009, 07:13 AM
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I agree with the above. And, find something to care about, a hobby, a cause, a pet??? Family??? Find a reason to want joy and sobriety in your life. :praying
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Old 10-07-2009, 07:32 AM
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Bard,

Yours was one of the first posts I saw when I joined up at this site. Maybe you're like me, Bard, one of those hopeless alcoholics.

For me, there was only two alternatives. I could go on, living as I was, trying to get sober and failing, trying to manage my crumbling life as best I could, or to ssek spiritual help.

I didn't want any spiritual solution. I didn't believe in it, and was vehemently opposed to the idea. But I saw that it worked in others, and I knew what I was doing wasn't working.

I became open to the idea that I didn't have to believe in it or agree with it. I just had to take the actions that would bring about that spiritual awakening.
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Old 10-07-2009, 07:38 AM
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I'm glad to see you here and trying again is a good idea.
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Old 10-07-2009, 07:59 AM
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It's time to change!
 
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My prayers and understanding are going out to you right now!!! :praying
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Old 10-07-2009, 08:28 AM
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Bard, good to see you here again, there's always hope in recovery if you keep reaching out.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, my program of recovery only works if I take action and stay focused on sobriety. How about putting together a plan?
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Old 10-07-2009, 12:45 PM
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Hey Bard - lots of good ideas here

Like I said to elsewhere - reach out - get a support network, whatever that is, and do this.
I know you can

D
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Old 10-07-2009, 02:03 PM
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i know what it's like to not care, sucks no one can really make you care
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