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Old 10-05-2009, 07:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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How to cope


I am struggling at quitting because I don't know how to cope with anger, frustration, the general stuff that goes on in life without drinking a bunch. How do you get to that point
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Old 10-05-2009, 07:37 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Mcribb the way I found to deal with all of them was obviously not drinking no matter what, but more importantly taking the steps with my sponsor & applying them daily to all areas of my life. In the steps and in the rooms I have found a solution to life which has resulted in my obsession for alcohol to be lifted.

Now here is the odd thing, only one of those 12 steps involves alcohol, the rest involve finding a solution for life and then living life! When I was drinking that was my solution for life, drinking, take away my booze and I was miserable because I had no real long lasting solution for life.

The steps and the fellowship of AA are what gave me a solution to life which does not in any way involve me escaping life in any manner, instead I work and walk through problems in life and the thought of a drink is but an occasional that is leaves my head as quickly as it enters.
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Old 10-05-2009, 07:38 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Things that help me are taking a deep breath, meditating, praying and writing my feelings down on paper.

It is hard. How long has it been since you stopped drinking?
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Old 10-05-2009, 07:53 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi, welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support and help here.

It's good to remember that alcohol increases feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety, etc... the supposed cure is a big part of the problem!

A little physical exercise really helps take the edge off. Take a walk, get up and do some stretching, nice, deep breaths. Sometimes I've looked in the mirror and really let somebody have it, but good. Blows off a little steam.

Just a couple of things to add to the other really good stuff here.

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Old 10-05-2009, 07:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I quit for awhile but then the daily grind, constant bullcrap at work, daily problems, just everything piles up and I end up drunk. I need help dealing with everyday life. When I do go sober I never feel good and I am just miserable, then I drink and feel good, but of course dumb stuff happens. I don't drink and drive, thankfully I have enough sense that I just sit at friends house and drink.
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Old 10-05-2009, 08:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
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McRibb, I think it takes time and lots of practice.

Each time you get through a difficult issue without drinking, it gets easier and you get better at it.

For me, I found exercise (mainly long walks) really helped me. And, music also played a big role, and still does.
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Old 10-05-2009, 08:31 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Mcribb,

I took AA's 12 Steps with a sponsor who had recovered from alcoholism. As the result of that, I had a profound alteration in my reaction to life. Because of that change, I know peace and serenity despite life's ups and downs, not to mention a removal of the drink problem.
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Old 10-05-2009, 09:37 AM   #8 (permalink)
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hello mccribb.i am with tazman and keith on this one.i used booze for 20 years to relieve me of "life" and its problems and woes.my life was a mess,one disaster after another.completely unmanagable.i was always running.i couldnt stay stopped for any length of time on my own,,i do remember one time about 8 yrs ago,i had just moved to be nearer my mum in scotland.i had a nasty incident and swore off,it was a horrible 2 weeks of my life.i was irritable,discontent and unhappy,angry,blah blah.so of course i gave in and there insued another 8 years of drunkeness.at the begining of the year i went to AA.i did what was suggested at the meetings where i am and went to lots of meetings and called at least 3 folk every day from the fellowship,within a month i had picked up again,bewildered,depressed at a complete loss i knew something had to change,i am powerless over alcohol and unless i completely changed i was forever doomed to picking up that first one and off we go again! so,i got a sponsor and i got to work on the steps immedietly,i came to believe,i cleared the wreckage of my past and i found a new freedom and a new happiness,there are lots of promises in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous,and when i first started out i thought it would be impossible for these things to be in my life,by the time i got to the 9th step things were happening in my life that i never imagined could or would!.there is a solution and a design for living.and not just white knuckling it but seeing life for what it really is,its a whole new world out there for me now,and thats the truth.you can have this too.all it takes is open mindedness,honesty and a bit of hard work,but hll anything is better than active alcoholism,or the head we are left with even after we put the booze down.are you willing to go to any lengths to get a happy life?
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Old 10-05-2009, 09:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
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The irony is that when I was the most gun ho about quitting I didn't want to go to AA, but I am going today.
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:25 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I got to the point where I was tired of being "bullied" by my thoughts and frustrations. I was a victim of my own insecurities & fears. I had no practice in dealing with people who offended me or hurt me - thanks to alcohol abuse & always getting numb when trouble started. We never learn to cope if we drink to forget the bad stuff - it doesn't go away and doesn't get dealt with - it waits to come back and haunt us another day. I decided to stand up and face my problems, & I could only put up a good fight if I was sober.

Charmie's right - life can't be lived just white-knuckling it, and that's how it seems when we first quit. It's a matter of getting past that phase - and many times I failed to do it and went right back to drinking in desperation. I'd think, "If this is how I'm always going to feel, I may as well drink". When drinking finally threatened my life after my last binge I knew I didn't have a choice - I wasn't ready to pack it in - I wanted to see how my story would end, without the booze running the show. So I tried again, more motivated this last time, and it's worked so far. I credit SR with setting me straight and pulling me through the rough times.

Mcribb, don't give up on yourself. You can do this. I was a die hard alkie for over 25 yrs. & I'm off it - you can have a whole new life too.
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Old 10-05-2009, 10:49 AM   #11 (permalink)
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mccribb,thats is truly great news,sounds like you are ready to surrender my friend.let us know how you get on.be open minded and listen for similarities not differences.
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Old 10-05-2009, 11:21 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Is there anything I need to take to my AA meeting. I assume I can go if it is closed, that just means it is alchoholics there.
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Old 10-05-2009, 11:47 AM   #13 (permalink)
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just yourself,,i would recommend you go to a closed meeting,yes there will be just alcoholics,but its up to you,see about getting the Big Book,you have heard of that right?
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Old 10-05-2009, 11:49 AM   #14 (permalink)
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yeah i have heard of it i better get one
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Old 10-05-2009, 11:58 AM   #15 (permalink)
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It's good to see you back willing to work on the solution, Mcribb. Keep that willingness, follow it up with action, and you'll go places you had never dreamed possible. I hope you keep us posted on your progress.
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Old 10-05-2009, 12:10 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mcribb View Post
Is there anything I need to take to my AA meeting.
Bring your body, and an open mind if possible. Your heart and soul will follow.

I can't add anything here Mcribb, just wanted to say that I'm glad to see you back here and I hope your experience with AA is a positive one. For the last 4+ years I've lived a rich life in the program of AA, and wouldn't want it any other way. But that's just my experience, I encourage you to discover what'll work for you.
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:15 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Welcome back McRibb

I'm glad to hear you're trying something new - life without booze is hard in the beginning - that's why we need all the support we can get

good decision
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Old 10-05-2009, 02:52 PM   #18 (permalink)
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The same dilema you have..........i had..

When you purchase that book.."alcoholics anonymous"....i suggest reading the doctors opinion.......you may ..like me.......see yourself..

The solution i found was the same as the solution keith and charmie found..
the suggested program of action in the book...in the form of 12 steps..

Plenty here will gladly answer any queries you have with rgards to that program of action.

i have been relieved of the obssesion to drink.....
i turned up at AA....suicidal......not because i was drinking..
because i couldnt cope with feeling like you do when i wasnt...

stick around ...id be real interested on how you get on.
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Old 10-05-2009, 06:45 PM   #19 (permalink)
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i went to the meeting, it was pretty helpful, going to try to do 90. The stories were good. I am just glad that I do believe in God so the prayer part wasn't awkward for me at all. It was better than church. The most refreshing thing was the people cussing. I thought it was going to be really clean but once they started cussing it relaxed me.
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Old 10-05-2009, 06:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
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LOL Cussing is always an ice breaker. LOL
I am sry. But I found that funny. Only because I have a nasty mouth sometimes and dont relize it. So I know what you mean.

Anger can be a very tough thing to get past. It is a very strong and toxic emotion. One that really takes alot of patience and work to learn how to deal with.
I had some serious rage issues. I still do at times. But I have learned how to control it for the most part. Well maybe not control but let it go.
First I need to stop dead and just breathe. Dont move, dont act, dont say anything until I stop and breathe. LOL
Then I have to just sit and breathe for awhile then think of why I am angry. Is it really relevant or am I just having a bad time.
Is it something I can do anything about? Is there a civil solution. Can it be taken care of at that moment. I eman theres alot of things to consider when you angry.
I use to get all crazy raging mad over nothing alot of times. Just cause I was having a bad day.
And just because of not stopping long enouhg to just think it out calmly. I have said and done some pretty awful things.
It has taken so many tries, so much work and alot of mistakes for me to eget a little hold on my anger issues.
But you gotta be patient. And stop long enouhg to just think about it all and then react in a calm way.
I know I just rambled and probably didnt help much. But I know how you feel.
I am glad to see you back. I am glad your trying to do something different and are willing to make efforts to change.
Hang in there and just take thinga as they come and try not to overwhelm yourself with things you cant control or do antying about right now.
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