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Old 10-04-2009, 08:36 AM   #1 (permalink)

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how do i stop hating my mother?
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Old 10-04-2009, 08:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I think you may need to give a little more detail. I am going through the same thing. I have not talked to my mom in two years. Too much repetitive bad behavior on her part that I am just not willing to over look any more.

You also may want to try the Friends and Family area on here.

Maybe also this area here in the site for children of alcoholic/addicted parents.

Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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Old 10-04-2009, 09:12 AM   #3 (permalink)

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ditto what vegibean said,can we have more details? i disliked my mother intensly at times over the years and used resentmets against her as an excuse to drink,i still have a dysfunctional relationship with her but its getting better as i get better.
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Old 10-04-2009, 09:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
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ditto for me as charmie has said!
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Old 10-04-2009, 09:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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It's possible you never will.

It is a choice, I guess, and I do not know your story, so I apologize if I am simplifying....a choice to forgive transgressions, and to clear ourselves of that burden.

Forgiveness is probably the least followed virtue, because it asks for a staggering amount of objectivity, and humility. Essentially, it allows oneself to feel the shame and burden of being wronged and humiliated without any recourse.

It can also feel like you are denying Justice its rightful due.

But, it is a choice. A hard one, but still a choice.
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Old 10-04-2009, 09:34 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR.....

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Old 10-04-2009, 02:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi ivehadenough

Welcome to SR.

I don't think anyone can answer you fully here from what you've posted - but I know for me my relationship with my parents is still a work in progress...

For me, forgiving them means acknowledging they're human beings like the rest of means I'm ready to step out of all that and move on.

It doesn't mean I accept that the things that happened to me were right or just...and it doesn't mean I allow toxic people close to me in my life.

Please do check out the links Vegi suggested


Last edited by Dee74; 10-04-2009 at 06:19 PM. Reason: clarity
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Old 10-04-2009, 02:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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There are a lot of forums here, you may want to look around and find a forum that appears to address your needs.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
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Old 10-04-2009, 03:33 PM   #9 (permalink)
Disposable Hero
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i don't know. Welcome to the Sober Recovery community.
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is an ongoing process of awareness, surrender, and growth
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Old 10-04-2009, 06:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
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For me, what ever the circumstance, forgiving another person, meant freedom from hate for me. Including the person who molested me as a child. It took a few times, I had to forgive over and over until I finally let the hate go...and it was only then I felt free from the situation. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean that I like what happened, but I am no longer a prisoner to the person who hurt me so bad.

Every Saint has a past and every Sinner has a future!
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Old 10-04-2009, 06:28 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi and Welcome,

Yes, I agree with others that forgiving is something you do for yourself. And, for me with regards to my mother, it is something I have had to do over and over. But, I never did reconcile with my mother before she died and I do not regret that at all. She was toxic to me.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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