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Old 10-03-2009, 09:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I am lost But hope This will help...


I am on a site like this for the first time. I am 30 years old I am a wife and a mother of 6. My husband is a addict. I have become ill after the birth of my 7 month old daughter and now I am trying to deal with my husbands addictions. As of a week ago he is living with my parents, I had to do it. So I am now on my own and so lost and confused. I pray this will help.

I have been sitting here crying all night, reading the stories and posts here. I feel so alone yet there are so many out there.

Well I am saying hello, and thank everyone on this site for having this for me and others.



:praying
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome!

There's lots of support, that's true. It's kinda slow right now though.

Keep doing what's best for you, ma'am... it's gotta be rough living with an alcoholic. I live alone, but I can only imagine...

They have forums for family members of alcoholics in here... might want to check them out. They could relate more, I suppose.

Take care,
TB
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Has your husband made any comments about wanting to get help? If not, is he aware of what's at stake if he continues down the path of addiction...loss of family, jobs, life?

I'm kind of curious as to why he is living with your parents? Do they allow him to continue with his addictive behaviors? If they do, then I would recommend that he be asked to leave that house. I know that may seem like a mean thing to do, but addiction is a destructive force and it usually requires some sort of "slap in the face" to get the addict to face reality just long enough to realize they need help. Have you considered an intervention?

As for you, I would like to say congratulations on taking your first step on feeling better. There is a lot of care and support in these forums, and I'm sure there are also quite a few people in a similar situation. I think that when you meet someone who is in a similar situation, and connect a bit with them, that it will make a tremendous difference in how you feel. Just knowing that someone understands is such a good feeling.

Take care of yourself!

-Kyle
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi ttsp!

You're not alone - many of our members face similiar situations.
Please keep reading and posting

You may want to check out our Family and Friends forums too
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

Welcome to SR
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 10-04-2009, 04:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of help here, especially in the Friends and Family of Alcoholics and Substance Abusers forums. The people on those forums have lots of experience going thru what you're going thru. Check out those forums. In the meantime, read our stories and post your questions. We're glad you're here!
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Old 10-04-2009, 05:20 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome!

I hope you find some peace in your life.
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Old 10-04-2009, 05:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR. Am sending good wishes and prayers to you
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Old 10-04-2009, 07:59 PM   #10 (permalink)
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More of my story

I want to thank everyone for responding. My Husband is a drug addict. He seems to always substitute one addiction for another. Shortly after we met he was on coke which I thought he had under control (i know now that there is no such thing) Then he started smoking crack bad. This was about 4 years ago. I left him and went to live by my parents it only took a few days and he had stopped. he really did. Then he started taking prescription meds which I then again thought ok it isnt that bad. Well over the past year or more it slowly got worse and worse. since he was layed of 7 months ago (2 weeks b4 i had 6th baby) Things went down hill quick. He was starting to chew them, then sniff. And alot. he started stealing from me. Wasnt paying the bills. He had me thinking i had to give him them or let him or he was in pain, or he couldnt move, or he couldnt help with kids... da da da da. Always a excuse.

The worst started happening in the past month or so. I had heart failure twice since march. I have also been hospitalized alot for health problems other then that and have recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. So I was receiving scripts from my Dr. well I tried giving him some so he wouldnt keep using the bill money. But he was stealing tons more. I get perks and fetynal patches. He would go threw my script of pills in days and I wouldnt have anything for the rest on the month. Then I noticed when I would change my patch he would get it out the garbage and suck the stuff out. Then beyond Taking all my scripts he was still stealing my things and running up tabs and spending all bill $.

I had enough two weeks ago when I finally realized how bad it was... I found out all that, then i told him I was no longer giving him anything or any money that I loved him and he needed help. I was scared to death he was going to kill himself after finding out how much stuff he was taking. well he got mad and Stole something very very special to my oldest son. And that was it for me! I had the police here twice in two days (which i never did)

I was so extremely hurt and mad and disgusted I told him he couldnt come back till he was better. He crossed the line. well he stayed by his mom for a couple days but was still buying and blaming me for EVERYTHING. But then all of a sudden he changed, he admitted everything. He called everywhere and anywhere to get help. he seems to be doing the right things. He went to stay with my parents to stay clean. he hasnt taken anything but tremadol i guess in about 4 days and has appt with methadone clinic Tuesday. he went to all his dr and told them the truth.

He seems to be keeping me out of the recovery tho... He is so distant from me. when i see him to drop kids he cant even look up at me. He wont hug me or anything. we talk on the phone and he tells me he loves me so much but when he cant be around me or our house cuz he feels he wants to use and he is so scared that he will use anything. I knew there was a very big risk involved here but it hurts so bad to be getting pushed away but then not. u know what I mean?

Sorry I have so rambled on but I am so lost and confused.
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Old 10-04-2009, 08:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ttsp View Post
He seems to be keeping me out of the recovery tho... He is so distant from me. when i see him to drop kids he cant even look up at me. He wont hug me or anything. we talk on the phone and he tells me he loves me so much but when he cant be around me or our house cuz he feels he wants to use and he is so scared that he will use anything. I knew there was a very big risk involved here but it hurts so bad to be getting pushed away but then not. u know what I mean?

Sorry I have so rambled on but I am so lost and confused.
I can only speculate, but if he is trying to get off the opiates, being in the house for him might be the equivalent of a recovering alcoholic coming home to a bar every night where the booze is there for the taking. You did say you still have those narcotics in the house, correct?

Thing is, it is his recovery.
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Old 10-04-2009, 08:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks sailor john. I get what u are saying. I just hope he will feel he can come back home one day. I love him I want to be with him. As far as my meds yes they are in the house, and more then anything do I wish I did not have to hurt they way I do. I have told him I will keep nothing here in this house.

I let him know to take as much time as he needs to get better, but I hope he wont stay away forever. I hope I will not always be that thing that makes him want to use.

I am suppose to go over by him tomorrow morning to talk. and I am terrified! I dont know Y. I feel uncomfortable or something. I think he is doing so well and I tell him all the time how proud I am but. I just dont know what to do or how to act ao what I can say or cant. I dont want to upset him...
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