I can't do this anymore
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,174
Hi Amelie
Congratulations on ~ 8 years of sobriety, fantastic!
I was odd reading this thread, I was thinking "why are all these people who I don't see in newcomers suddenly posting on this thread, then I realised it was from over a decade ago. Duh.
I would invest in a Sodastream or similar home water carbonate. The fizzy water will mimic the cola to some extent and you can add fruit juice or a cordial sometimes for flavour. It will pay for itself pretty quickly too if you drink a lot of soda/fizzy drinks.
Congratulations on ~ 8 years of sobriety, fantastic!
I was odd reading this thread, I was thinking "why are all these people who I don't see in newcomers suddenly posting on this thread, then I realised it was from over a decade ago. Duh.
I would invest in a Sodastream or similar home water carbonate. The fizzy water will mimic the cola to some extent and you can add fruit juice or a cordial sometimes for flavour. It will pay for itself pretty quickly too if you drink a lot of soda/fizzy drinks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,152
Originally Posted by Amelie 
I dont think it helps living with someone who likes to drink and who cant understand my issues with it. He says why cant you just control yourself - i tried to explain my problem he doesnt get it. Thinks that I have not set my boundaries. I dont mean to get really drunk - i dont think i have any realisation once i have had a drink of when to stop till it has gone. I dont really do anything bad either. The only problems he sees with it as I tend to drink his share.
We often counsel others to avoid environments that are dangerous to recovery, specifically places where people are drinking. That was not a problem for me. I knew I had to avoid them. But getting divorced seems rather draconian, although I would have eventually if I had to. Sobriety was that important.
So if you want to stay in your relationship, you can talk to your partner about what you need, or you must learn to disregard is lack of understanding about alcoholism. I understand it's not unusual that some relationships fail naturally when one partner quits drinking. It's not hard to understand the dynamics of that, although it's not a given.
About your continual drinking, even when you promise to quit, you need to learn an important thing. Drinking is not a problem that can be solved with thoughts or promises. Those processes become vital after the first step is taken. But you must change your behavior first, and granted this is a tough one for every recovering alcoholic. We must all muscle our way through this part, and the obsessions and cravings can be Hellish. It would be nice if it were otherwise, but you have to do it.
The good news is that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but you won't see it at first. The Hell may start to subside in a few days or sometimes it's longer, and a much worse alcoholic than I helped me in the beginning. He said, "Eventually, wild cravings become just thoughts in your head." And it happens faster than you might think. Never pick up another drink, and it turns out you can live your life just fine without alcohol. But take a drink, and it's back to square one, back in that misery. Many fail because they start to feel so normal that they think they can drink again. But it doesn't work that way. Alcoholism is a life sentence, and the only way of feeling normal is by not drinking... forever!
It never felt like a sacrifice to me. I was just so happy to be out of that Hellish nightmare that I was, and still am, nothing but grateful.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by Amelie
Hi everyone
i finally stopped drinking in early 2012 I really can’t remember the exact date and left my heavily drinking ex husband At a similar time so just have been feb 2012
i Still have drinking dreams but wake up happy that this is no longer my reality. I am very grateful and relieved I haven’t drank since then. I still have good and bad days but this is no longer amplified by alcohol.
i get bit frustrated when people seem surprised that I have given up alcohol due to my history of problems but I guess they didn’t seem my emotional turmoil and just thought I was a “normal” drinker.
This site really helped me when I was in trouble
thought this might help someone Amelie
i finally stopped drinking in early 2012 I really can’t remember the exact date and left my heavily drinking ex husband At a similar time so just have been feb 2012
i Still have drinking dreams but wake up happy that this is no longer my reality. I am very grateful and relieved I haven’t drank since then. I still have good and bad days but this is no longer amplified by alcohol.
i get bit frustrated when people seem surprised that I have given up alcohol due to my history of problems but I guess they didn’t seem my emotional turmoil and just thought I was a “normal” drinker.
This site really helped me when I was in trouble
thought this might help someone Amelie
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,152
Originally Posted by Amelie
Hi everyone
i finally stopped drinking in early 2012 I really can’t remember the exact date and left my heavily drinking ex husband
i finally stopped drinking in early 2012 I really can’t remember the exact date and left my heavily drinking ex husband
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
