Can anyone recommend or suggest the right time to get a temporary sponsor?
I was pretty whacked still when I got out of detox, I was absolutely going nuts!!!! One side of my head was screaming at me to go get a 12 pack while the other side was praying a mile a minute to some one, any one in the ether that could help me to stay sober long enough to get to a meeting and get a sponsor!!!
Well obviously there was someone or something in the ether that granted me enough power to get to a meeting that first night after I got out of detox. The demons were still screaming in my head for a drink while I sat through that meeting. I heard a whole lot of blah bla blah while the demons screamed.... but they were a bit quieter as the meeting went on and there was this one guy that seemed to have his act together and I decided that no matter how loud those little beast in my head told me to be afraid, I was going to ask him to be my sponsor!!!
Well the meeting ended, he was talking to some old guy at the head table, the demons were HOWLING in my head "Do not waste your time, the guy is a jerk!", "He is not going to be able to help you!", "he is going to blow you off!". I stood there quietly and they both noticed me standing there and instead of ignoring me they both introduced them selfs and shook my hand!!!!
Wow!! The demons were wrong, thier hand shake alone let me know that I stood a chance! I asked him to be my sponsor! He said "No"!!!! Oh how the demons laughed!!! Then he said "But I will be your temporary sponsor!"
Dead silence!!!! The demons shut up!!! They were wrong! We sat and talked of r some time after that meeting.
When to get a temporary sponsor? How loud are the demons speaking? Just my personal opinion, but as soon as you find some one that has what you want ask.
Just to prepare you, you may get a real "No". Trust me there will be a reason for a no, it could be they have not done the steps them selfs and feel they would not be able to give you all you need. They may have a lot of other sponsee's and do not want to short change you.
If you ask and they do say no, just ask if they know any one else that could be your temporary sponsor.
One thing to always keep in mind, you can change sponsors any time you want, but always bear in mind why you may be switching sponsors. Is it because they are not giving you what you need because of time or personality..... or is it because they can look you in the eye and tell that you are BSing them?
I switched sponsors because my temporary sponsor just did not have the time due to his job and travel to take me through the steps, he was and still is a great guy and a tremendous help and I know I can call him any time if I need to and he will be there for me.
The sponsor I got was just the right man for me. He could tell when I was BSing him and in a nice way look at me with his head cocked to the side and an odd look in his eyes!! LOL
A sponsor is not your boss, nor does your sponsor give you orders!
Read the pamphlet Carol suggested, the primary purpose of a sponsor is to help you take the steps by sharing thier Experience, Strength, and Hope with you in regards to the steps.
A sponsor can also be your go to person with questions and probelms, they may become a close friend, they may not, but they will love you no matter what.
My sponsor and are are friends, not really close friends, but I trust him with anything.