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Old 09-30-2009, 11:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Feeling Dumb


Hey Guys,
I joined here a few weeks ago looking for some answers, and you guys were very welcoming- thanks for that! I managed to stay strong for about 5 days but then rationalized a few beers and then some more. I've been feeling dumb and kind of ashamed to log back in and say that since you guys were all so cool. I guess I got another strong sense today that my rationalizing isn't really as sensible as I'm thinking it is- financial issues, personal life problems all seem to be eased with a few beers. But having read the excerpts from Under the Influence that were posted, I think I'm kind of afraid of what I'm not aware of inside me. Though a feeling I was left with after reading that stuff was hopelessness, as if I'm powerless to stop. I know that's not the intention of the book, but there didn't seem to be any thoughts of how to reverse the physiological affects that build up over time. Are you just screwed when this thing starts or can you repair your body? Can your cells stop needing alcohol after they start needing it?
Anyway, thanks for your thoughts in general.
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Old 09-30-2009, 12:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Glad you're back GB. Many people don't "get it" the first time. Or the second, third, etc. for that matter. But you're back looking for recovery and there's always hope.

Yes the body can be repaired and the effects can be reversed, depending on the extent and that's something you should see a doctor about. Sobriety and recovery are possible, please try to find a plan that works for you and make the commitment to work it.
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Old 09-30-2009, 12:09 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome back GB, like Astro said many don't get it the first couple times, but there are many who do. However many times it takes us, we need to really want it and be willing to go to any length to get and stay sober. Keep posting, nice to see you.
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Old 09-30-2009, 12:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi GB...I, too, am new. Just registerd the other day, before I sat down to some cold ones. I haven't posted anything yet because of how dumb I feel I'll sound, so I hear ya. I don't think I'm ready to really quit, but I'll continue to read here until I am. It's amazing how people's experiences (like yours) help me to realize I'm not the only one. Keep postin.
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Old 09-30-2009, 12:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
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mirage, welcome to SR. I hope you'll continue to read and consider whether recovery is for you or not. One of the most important things I learned in early recovery was to listen for the similarities rather than the differences. I may be unique, but I'm not alone in my disease.
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Old 09-30-2009, 12:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for the thoughts, guys, I appreciate the efforts. I've definitely felt a lot of comfort and hope in hearing similar tales- there's a lot to be said for not feeling alone in your plight and that there are so many positive outcomes.
Thanks....
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Old 09-30-2009, 12:57 PM   #7 (permalink)
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i could share what i have learned by working a 12 Step program of recovery, but wouldn't it be of greater value to find out for yourself? Why not try working a spiritual 12 Step program of recovery and come to your own conclusions about things? i would suggest that you go to 90 meetings for 90 days and begin asking for help.
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Old 09-30-2009, 01:52 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome back GB.

Yeah, some of us just don't get it the first (second, third,...) go-round.
And just have to keep trying, keep coming back...


-TB, not quite a positive outcome yet
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Old 09-30-2009, 02:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Golf ball - and hi to you to Mirage

This place is for people like you - and like I was when I first came here - who can't seem to get it yet, but who really want to.

I think almost everyone here can identify with that

I reckon you're both in the right place
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Old 09-30-2009, 02:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hi Golf Ball and Mirage!

I'm a newbie too. I am no expert, no doc, no nuthin' but another newbie.

I think the body repairs damage. I think every day will not be a fight. But I've come to believe that the system's sensitivity to alcohol will not go away. One drink will always be one too many for me.

Anyway, just my thoughts. Not an expert.
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Old 09-30-2009, 04:07 PM   #11 (permalink)
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GolfBall,

I'm glad you came back. Please believe that there is hope, there is always hope.

I know it can be discouraging and overwhelming when you are beginning recovery, but you can do it.
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Old 09-30-2009, 04:20 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Sobriety can be had. A program of recovery can be helpful, whether it be AA, LifeRing, Women for Sobriety, or even just counseling from an addiction specialist. Many people here are staying sober just with SR and learning about addiction. There are many ways to get and stay sober. Keep looking and trying til you find yours. It IS possible.

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Old 09-30-2009, 04:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfBall View Post
I guess I got another strong sense today that my rationalizing isn't really as sensible as I'm thinking it is
Hopefully in the not too distant future, you'll agree with me remarking that your quote above is the understatement of the century. My thought processes when I was drinking were insane, describing myself, would call them delusional rather than not sensible.


Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfBall View Post
Though a feeling I was left with after reading that stuff was hopelessness, as if I'm powerless to stop. I know that's not the intention of the book, but there didn't seem to be any thoughts of how to reverse the physiological affects that build up over time.
For me, as an alcoholic, yes, if I take a drink today, all attempts at control will be utterly futile. While my body has healed, I still have that sensitivity to alcohol, that will never change. I know, like all alcoholics, I have the potential for a relapse, but I have no idea if I have another recovery left, I live my life based on that firm belief. Glad you made it back.
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Old 10-01-2009, 02:48 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Hi GolfBall & Mirage - I'm so glad you've both joined us. I am living proof that it all can be turned around and you can learn to live again in a new way. After 25 yrs. on the rollercoaster I'm no longer a slave. When I found SR I was still drinking & continued to for a few months - yet every day when I came here I'd gain more strength and courage. I wasn't alone anymore, and for me that made all the difference.
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Old 10-01-2009, 05:27 AM   #15 (permalink)
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What is normal drinking. Getting a little high on a few glasses and then walking away from it. I could never do that and felt "alien". I know I am helpless with alcohol and that I cannot take one drink without taking thousands. That makes me an alcoholic but am I "alien". Not here I'm not. Here I am normal.
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