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Old 09-29-2009, 08:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Mood swings when not drinking


I hope I am posting this in the right area, I'm not really sure.
My husband has a drinking problem, something we are dealing with. My question is he gets these awful mood swings even when he hasn;t had anything to drink. What I'm wondering is could these mood swings be related to the drinking? are he is just unusually moody? I guess I'm thinking about the concept of a dry drunk, not that he goes that long with out drinking, sometimes a few days sometimes a night, but how long could the mood swings linger, even if he was to quit entirely? and yes I know everyone is different, I'm just trying to get other opinions here. I could be totally off blaming it on the alcohol which is why I am posting. Thanks for your help.
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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When I was drinking I had a similar pattern to your husband in that I would sometimes go a few days without and sometimes only a day.
I was also moody most of the time whether I was drinking or not.
Now that I no longer drink I have found that most of the moodiness has gone away and in that area I guess I would classify myself as normal. I still get mad or sad when there is something truly worthy of making me feel those emotions.
This is just my experience but you may not see any improvement in that area unless he tries to quit completely.
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
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thank you for your response. everyone gets mad and sad, that is expected, but when he is in a bad mood we have to walk on eggshells around him. , when he is in a good mood you can say anything. on one of his good days, i told him that and he said he didn't know if the moodiness would ever change. now i can't stop thinking about that comment. that's why i'm asking. it so easily seems like your on your own in these situations, and i'm very introverted to begin with, so to ask anyone about these things is very hard for me (but easier on the computer, more anonymous i guess) thank you and yes, I know i'm rambling...
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Violet,

Have you considered seeking support for yourself? Early sobriety is a difficult time for an alcoholic and family members. You might want to check out an AlAnon meeting, and we have two forums on this board for Friends and Families.
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:31 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I was actually on their website earlier. i'm not sure how i would be able to get the meetings though. they are after my sons bedtime and i don't have a sitter. but i might try one of the farther meetings...
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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LOL I had to laugh, if I had a load on I was happy as a clam around other folks. In the last few years of my drinking I started getting pretty irratable about noon or 12:30PM every day before I got off work at 1 when I could pop that first top in my truck for the ride home and 6-7 more along the way. If I had to work late I became a real SOB!!!!

For me it was the lack of booze that made me moody!!!

When I first got out of detox I had a very short fuse, but the further I got away from that last drink and the more I worked my program the more even tempered I became. Folks at work commented at how mellow I had become, especially at the end of the day, if I have to work late it is no big deal any longer.

For me it was the booze.... maybe the lack there of that made me moody, I have changed a lot due to not drinking and applying the steps daily to my life.

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My husband has a drinking problem, something we are dealing with.
Hon this is a probelm only he can deal with, as Anna suggested, you need to recover your self, I would suggest Alanon & the friends and family forum here.
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi Violet -- a present for your pondering a single quote:

"Our liquor was but a symptom"

It kinda says it all.
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Old 09-29-2009, 10:12 AM   #8 (permalink)
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i have actually wondered a lot if he had some form of bipolar depression or whatever with the mood swings and he himself calls it self medicating sometimes. i know the drinking is for him alone to deal with. i am just trying to deal with my end of it- how to handle my life around his drinking, etc... and i also know that the drinking is from something else, we have talked about it, trying to figure out why... in all actuality the reason i said that was kind of to avoid discussing the drinking and what both of us need to do in our own ways. i try to be realistic about this stuff (while still living in denial) and he still drinks, a lot more then i think he should... but i get worried about his moods, when he goes out and comes home i am worried what mood he will be in. probably 90% of the time he has had at least one beer, but sometimes nothing at all. i just wonder if that real irritability to alcohol related.
and no i feel like i;m being defensive... guess i need to figure out how to get to an al-anon meeting huh...
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Old 09-29-2009, 10:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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When my AB was hospitalized the first time I asked the hospital psychiatrist (HP) bluntly if he thought it was BP (rich history of that in my family) and the HP said there was no way to know until he had detoxed and stabilized. Eventually that was part of the diagnosis, but it will take your husband sobering up and seeing a qualified physician (in no particular order) to make that diagnosis.

The HP also told me that about a decade ago his own AB had similar struggles and that Al-Anon helped him (HP) personally. My mother told me that it was a great resource for her in dealing with my AB's struggles. If you feel that would be beneficial you should give it a shot.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:16 AM   #10 (permalink)
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102 days sober

week 1-8, I was VERY moody and emotional. I normally was a very mellow person who did not get emotional.

week 8-present, I am not as moody and emotional; However, I am much more self-assured that my feelings are valid and react more than I ever did before. I don't jump down people's throats or anything, but I do speak up about what I want and how I feel more often than I ever would've before.

Don't know if this helps, but it's what I have gone through.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:19 AM   #11 (permalink)
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thank you bjork, it helps a lot. always helps to know what others have gone through (and to have some idea how long it can last.)
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:20 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hi Violet

these are the two forums Anna mentioned before. Do check them out if you haven't already

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

welcome to SR
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