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Old 09-28-2009, 05:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Grateful I found this site...




Hi, DonneIslanding here. Long time drinker, first time poster.

I'm almost 26 and have been drinking heavily on and off for the past 8 years (basically since I went to college). There are periods where I don't drink very often, but when I pick up the bottle again it's often to the point where I'm prone to make some very big mistakes.

I've realized for a while now that I have a problem with drinking. There's a lengthy history of alcoholism and mental health issues in my family, but I want this account to be about my issues and me getting the support I need.

I guess some would label me as a "highly functional alcoholic". I did well throughout college despite ruining quite a few relationships/friendships and graduated with high marks. I've done well enough at work to really earn the trust of my employer and contribute to the firm, and really don't want to screw my future up due to my drinking.

My work requires me to work remotely and travel pretty frequently. It has some perks, but about a year ago I got a bit strung out due to my non-stop "partying" while living alone in a large Midwestern city and realized I needed a change of environment. So I went cold turkey and relocated to the burbs in the Mid-South (I know, I know, euphemism for "Deep South") to live with two friends from college, one of whom is a coworker. Things went nice and sober for about a month or so but the coworker relocated back to his home state. I now live with a friend who's also very busy and don't see family in person very often and when I'm not on the road traveling for work there are days where I don't see many people.

Anyways, not too long after the move I reverted to my typical ways of drinking too much. I would stop for a few days or even a couple of weeks, but eventually resort to the easy way out.

I found this site last Sunday and began reading with great interest. Things were good and I didn't even have the desire to have a drink from Monday until Thursday as I'd rather read these forums. Then the weekend hit and I threw back quite a few with the wrong type of "friend" and eventually went on a 24 hour nonstop drinking binge (from Saturday evening to last night). Woke up this morning determined to feel hungover for the last time and decided to transform from a "Guest" to a poster.

Also I should say that due to my location, work situation (often on the road) and secular nature, I doubt traditional AA would work for me. I plan on mostly posting here, the Secular forums, and the Mental Health forum as I feel that those are most likely to provide the type of support I need.

I'm going to give this a shot and if I'm still struggling by the time my lease is up in a few months, I'm going to move back in with some supporting family and give the "in person" approach a shot.

Man it feels good to get that off my chest...

Thanks in advance!
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi..There is alot of of alternatives to 12 step. It doesnt matter what path you take. As long as you get there. Right?
I assume you have already seen our secular section. There is a sticky at the top of it that has a list of secular programs.

Heres the link..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cular-web.html

So I hope to see you around some.
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi..There is alot of of alternatives to 12 step. It doesnt matter what path you take. As long as you get there. Right?
I assume you have already seen our secular section. There is a sticky at the top of it that has a list of secular programs.
Thank you for posting that link. I've seen the secular section but didn't see that post with links of secular programs.

My plan was to post there first but wanted to introduce myself properly and get a chance to hear from as many worldviews as possible before doing so.

I hope to be around quite frequently!
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

You may want to read the stickies at the top of this forum.
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you decided to post.

I think reading around the forums is a good idea and you'll find lots of support. Early sobriety for me, involved making a lot of changes in my life. I'm not an AA person either, but I do work on recovery every day. It's a wonderful journey and I am glad that you are joining us.
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hey Done -- Welcome. As Aysha said, there are different ways if approaching the problem. I tried quite a few, in the end it was AA that much to my surprise (in light of how long I avoided it) worked and continues to work -- for me. One thing to keep in mind that there is nothing inherently "non-secular" about it -- there are as many atheists and business travelers working it as there are Christians and homebodies. It allowed me to not just quit drinking, but to reconnect to life in a way I never had before (so "connect", I guess) which is really all spirituality is in the end, and why, yes -- it is a spiritual program.

Chris
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR DonneIslanding
As others have said and as you've obviously seen, you'll find a lot of support here.

I think whatever support structure you decide on, as long as you work it to the hilt and stay committed, you'll be ok

Nice screenname too!

D
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey Done -- Welcome. As Aysha said, there are different ways if approaching the problem. I tried quite a few, in the end it was AA that much to my surprise (in light of how long I avoided it) worked and continues to work -- for me. One thing to keep in mind that there is nothing inherently "non-secular" about it -- there are as many atheists and business travelers working it as there are Christians and homebodies. It allowed me to not just quit drinking, but to reconnect to life in a way I never had before (so "connect", I guess) which is really all spirituality is in the end, and why, yes -- it is a spiritual program.

Chris
I appreciate your suggestion and insight. A big reason why I am apprehensive to attend AA is due to the location issue.

I often find myself struggling to communicate verbally with the locals in my new area. I also have not made many new friends (secular or otherwise) period; everyone appears to be very devout towards their particular faith and I haven't met many fellow skeptics.

It may very well be that AA is ultimately the way, but I thought it was important for me to first admit that I have a problem and connect to a 24/7 support system. I'd rather spend my nights typing rambling posts about ways to defend my sobriety than sitting around with a bottle.
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:31 PM   #9 (permalink)
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It's great you found your way here. SR helped save my life. What a relief it was to me to know I wasn't alone. No one in my life had the same problems I did. At 26 I was just beginning my journey of alcohol abuse. I could still manage it then, only drank on weekends. I never would have believed I'd end up drinking round the clock.

You never have to go through hell like many of us have. If only I had acknowledged my problem early on, my life would be so different today. I'm not currently involved with AA, but may go to meetings in the future for extra support & reinforcement. At the few meetings I attended in the past, religion/God/Jesus were never mentioned. (When they speak of a "higher power" it can mean whatever you personally want it to mean - from what I understand.) We are glad you're here and hope to hear updates on how you're doing.
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hail and well met! I'm finishing up my first week of sobriety, and believe me, reading other people's stories and the wisdom and experience in the replies is a tremendous help. And posting and exploring ... wow.

Read, read, read. Many of us have gone from highly functional to functional to almost blew it to gotta get hold of this to crash and burn. It can take years, but why waste those years and why risk it? You sound like a determined "get it done" type of person. Whatever method you find that works for you, get it done. A bit preachy? Hope not. Don't mean to be.

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Old 09-28-2009, 06:53 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Read, read, read. Many of us have gone from highly functional to functional to almost blew it to gotta get hold of this to crash and burn. It can take years, but why waste those years and why risk it? You sound like a determined "get it done" type of person. Whatever method you find that works for you, get it done. A bit preachy? Hope not. Don't mean to be
Not preachy at all and I take it as a compliment!

I've already seen a lot of great stuff on these forums and hope to contribute as well over time.
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR DonneIslanding glad to have you
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Old 09-29-2009, 05:11 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Old 09-29-2009, 05:26 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by DonneIslanding View Post
I'd rather spend my nights typing rambling posts about ways to defend my sobriety than sitting around with a bottle.
Agreed.
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Old 09-29-2009, 06:26 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR DonneIslanding. AA saved my life, but there are many ways to stay sober, heck the founders of AA sought out other ways of staying sober up until thier last breath, they were well aware that AA was not the answer for every alcoholic out there, they just wanted to help others to find sobriety what ever way worked for them.

There are some fine folks with good solid sobriety here that did not use AA.

You know if you want to make some sober friends you can relate to and not have religion pushed down your throat you may want to check out some AA meetings.

I am from Fredericksburg Va. which has a church on every corner it seems, I have been to several thousand meetings in my area and I can count on my fingers how many times I have heard Jesus said. In all of those meetings I have never even been invited to attend church with some one.

I know people of every faith in AA and people of no faith (Like me), along with athiest & agnostics.

I am just bringing this up in case you have heard it said that AA folks are Bible thumpers.... I have never seen a Bible in a meeting either.

Any how, find a program and WORK IT!!!! Sobriety no matter the program involves ACTION on our part for the program to work.
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Old 09-29-2009, 07:48 AM   #17 (permalink)
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HI DI ... Welcome. This site is great in so many ways. Visit often!
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Old 10-02-2009, 07:41 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Welcome, DI...

We got a lot in common... hmm.

-TB
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Old 10-02-2009, 08:04 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonneIslanding View Post


I plan on mostly posting here,

Thanks in advance!
Hi DonnelIslanding

this is where ive had most of my support from, i wouldve fallen off the wagon if i didnt have these guys here, so keep coming back and congratuations on making this decision.....
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