Blogs


Notices

Yet another new start

Old 09-28-2009, 08:08 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 90
Yet another new start

I was so sure I wasn't really an alcoholic. Yes I knew that alcohol was a problem that needed addressing, it was seriously affecting the quality of my life. It was all about control. I had tried to stop before but without real success so I took advice from a post I read on here. Stop for 30 days, see how it feels. 30 days...seemed like an easy challenge. I managed 34, I looked ten years younger, I had energy, I was getting things done. I was back in control. I decided I could safely dabble with a bottle of wine.

That was just five weeks ago. I'm back to drinking every night, only now I'm drinking two bottles of wine instead of one. I'm making stupid phone calls, sending stupid emails. I've put on nearly a stone and today I feel depressed and have no energy.

I think I am an alcoholic.

There I've said it. I want to delete it because it can't possibly be true. This is day one again. I've been reading this board for over a year and find it inspirational. Perhaps I've always known I would eventually make this post. My thanks to all who post on here.
Dunsuppin is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 08:19 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Meow
 
PurpleCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,584
Welcome Dunsuppin - good luck!
PurpleCat is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 08:25 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 53,277
Hi and Welcome,

I was totally shocked when I realized I was an alcoholic. I couldn't believe I had allowed that to happen, but I did.

I think what you're finding is that addiction is a progressive disease and it will get worse if you don't stop it. I am glad you have decided to seek support here and that you've made the decision to live a sober life.
Anna is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 08:45 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Well, I'm on my way
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: El Paso, Texas
Posts: 276
Blog Entries: 1
It's hard to admit or accept. I'm no doctor or expert, but I would say you are an alcoholic. It was terrifying to say to myself and rather presumptuous to say to someone else. You've already seen it in yourself. Read some threads. You will see how many of us have similar stories. We can't handle alcohol, never will be able to. Hey, there are more important things in life.

You've found a good place.
mariechi is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 08:51 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
SHARING THE LOAD
 
Firehazard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Red face

Good to hear from you again. Don't keep coming back!! JUst

stay
I would suggest getting ahold of a

AA big book and read the chapter "the docotors opinion" you can read it on line.

it worked for me
Firehazard is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 09:02 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Rockstar
 
Sikkisirus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 634
Welcome to SR Dunsuppin, great screen name by the way
Sikkisirus is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 09:46 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Follow Directions!
 
Tazman53's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I think I am an alcoholic.

There I've said it. I want to delete it because it can't possibly be true. This is day one again. I've been reading this board for over a year and find it inspirational. Perhaps I've always known I would eventually make this post. My thanks to all who post on here.
Welcome back to SR Dunsuppin, it may seem very hard to beleive right now, but simply admitting to a problem followed by ACTIONs to resolve it is the beginning of a wonderful way of life.

You listed some immediate benfits:

I looked ten years younger, I had energy, I was getting things done. I was back in control.
I found what you had in AA, I found my control with the reliance upon a Power greater then myself and taking and applying 12 steps into all areas of my life.
Tazman53 is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 11:00 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 40,461
Hi Dunsuppin! I was just like you - I so wanted to avoid having to call myself an alcoholic. For over 20 yrs. I tried to manage it & control how and when I drank - anything but give it up entirely! I could not imagine my life without my 'friend' to soothe my nerves. In the end, it did the opposite - I was never calm, happy, or excited - just numb to everything. The lovely feeling of euphoria was long gone & it wasn't coming back. I knew that, and yet - still I pursued the original high and happy feeling. It cost me dearly.

Thankfully, you are ready to admit you must call a halt to your drinking. It's great to have you join us - this place has been a huge comfort to me & I'm no longer alone.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 11:26 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
KenL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Blog Entries: 26
Questioning whether or not you're an alcoholic implies that you don't know what an alcoholic is or what the symptoms of alcoholism are. There are several tests that you can use to determine if you are a likely alcoholic. I had to read a lot of stuff to learn what alcoholism is and how it works. I have no problem admitting that I am an alcoholic now that I know more about alcoholism. According to the book Beyond the Influence, alcoholism is a genetically linked neurological disease. It is progressive. I know there are those who don't believe the disease aspect of alcoholism. They believe that it is behavioral. I have no problem with that. We all come to an understanding of it in one way or another.

Perhaps you think that you're not as bad as others and so you think you are not an alcoholic. Those other people though are just further progressed than you are. There are others who are looking at your post and saying to themselves, "I'm not as bad as that person."
KenL is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 11:52 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Awaiting Email Confirmation
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Alcoholic or problem drinker, whichever, whatever, welcome back.

Can we focus on addressing the problem, and not the title?

Keep coming back, drinking is the problem.

Start over, and remember WHY you don't want to drink.
tommyk is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 11:58 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 40,461
I think it's the stigma attached to the word "alcoholic" that makes us hesitant to use it. It implies weakness, irresponsibility - other negative things. At least that's the perception most people I know have of it. Once I became more educated on the subject of alcoholism I wasn't afraid to acknowledge that's what I had.

You're right, though Tommy - they are just words & they shouldn't have anything to do with our desire to get well.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 12:45 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 02:42 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 185,893
Blog Entries: 1
Hi dunsuppin

Welcome to SR. I was totally shocked to realise I'd become an alcoholic too...that was always something I'd swore I'd never be - and, looking back, much of my problem was in trying to accept I had a problem...I kept drinking to try and prove I could 'control' it.

Once I accepted the facts, life got a lot easier
Hope it will for you too,

Keep posting!
D

Last edited by Dee74; 09-28-2009 at 03:33 PM. Reason: fixing typo
Dee74 is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 02:46 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
stone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Welcome Dunn, admitting the problem is the first step to recovering from it.
stone is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 02:50 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Looking For Myself...Sober
 
Aysha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,210
Blog Entries: 26

I know it can be pretty hard to accept that the first time. And sometimes you still try and find other things that it may be besides that Big 'A' word.
But its nothing to be ashamed of. Now you know how to treat your problems.
I am sure you already know that this board is full of info and great people with endless support to give.
I hope you stick around.
Aysha is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 04:02 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
it's all happening
 
pennylane2009's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 122
I read somewhere here, today, in someone's signature line this phrase:

"A pickle can't go back to being a cucumber."

Love it. I can easily say I'm a pickle. Alcoholic, not so easy.

I'm a pickle.
pennylane2009 is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 04:29 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Cause no harm
 
Creekryder's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
Blog Entries: 21
Dunn,
Hey, I am a total raving, drink-a-dozen beers-a-night, schnapps-guzzling, slurred-speaking, blurry-eyed Irish alcoholic! When I say it, it gives me strength because I don't have to hide it from myself. I admit the problem, now I have to find the solution. Plain and simple. Don't ever be ashamed of admitting the truth to yourself. (I am in no way implying you are an alcoholic, I merely am stating that we must be truthful to ourselves, no matter what it is.)
Creekryder is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 04:37 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,741
Hmm...
Chooseing to abstain from alcohol was the wisest
move I ever made. I simply felt positive and healthy.

You noticed that too during your 34 days
I'm glad you are making a fresh start...
CarolD is offline  
Old 09-29-2009, 09:30 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 90
Thanks very much to everyone who replied to my post, I appreciated all the points made. I was at a really low ebb yesterday. Woke up today with no hang over and a much clearer head. I did find an online copy of the book and I read the first few chapters. I printed off the pages about resentment and I spent some time thinking and writing about being angry inside. It helped a lot and I'm sure it will help some more later. Alcohol is ruining my life, I guess I don't need a label to admit that. It's great to be welcomed to the board and I will be reading as usual.
Dunsuppin is offline  
Old 09-29-2009, 09:46 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
chrisinaustin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 158
Welcome... the simplest of realizations can put you in a better place today than you were yesterday.
chrisinaustin is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:31 AM.