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Old 09-28-2009, 05:36 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I dont know if this would work for you. But I took a "medical" leave and went into treatment one time. By saying that I didnt have to tell them anything more than that. For medical reasons only. Thats all they had to know. Legally they cant ask you what for. At least in ym state they cant. ANd as long as I had a Dr note. A general dr note. Didnt state why or anything. I was good.
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:49 PM   #22 (permalink)
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well ive already taken one leave for four days and i was so out of it that my mom had to call me in on friday. i couldnt even walk. plus after this week ive missed (and this is sad to admit) 18 days two of which are considered no call no shows. although i have over 159 hours of pto built up its still pretty damn extreme for ANY job.
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:10 PM   #23 (permalink)
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No calls, and no shows, can sometimes mean immediate termination.

At times when we have made exceptions for the company I am a comptroller/HR manafer for, the employee has to submit to random testing.

If you want to state your case, and your sincereity to remain sober, you might volunteer this on your own.

Good luck with the job...but, more importantly, please save your life, and get sober.
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:15 PM   #24 (permalink)
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thanks for all your advice. im going to study and try to get a few hours of sleep and walk in to wait for the hammer to come down. i guess ill let you know tom what happens.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:42 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Welcome....

I certainly hope this will be your turning point
My AA program is full of people learning
how to live sober....
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Old 09-28-2009, 11:15 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR!

I just wanted to give you a little advice as a former RN. I would HIGHLY recommend you get a very good start on your recovery before you begin your nursing career. Nursing is stressful, to say the least. There are several nurses on this board who can back me up, as well as some who are no longer nurses, like me.

I was a nurse for a little over 12 years. Though my license shows "lapsed" and I can still get it back, I am not ready to jump through the hoops for 4 years it would take to get it back. That's just me. I am in school to get another degree (my 3rd assoc.) in healthcare.

For now, I am waiting tables...yep, one of my last nursing jobs, I was making $40/hr. This is where addiction will take you, in no time. When I begin to interview for jobs in my new field, I will not have much option but to be a bit honest as to what happened when they ask "why did you go from a highly-certified RN to waiting tables". I'm not that worried about it. I'm hoping my grades will hold up (they're in the mid 90's), I have years of good experience, I've been clean over 2-1/2 years, and HP will take care of the rest.

I hope you continue to read and post. Whether or not you lose your job, there is a great amount of support here and you WILL survive, no matter which way it turns out. I wish you the best!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 09-29-2009, 01:58 AM   #27 (permalink)
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In my personal experience employers are very open and willing to help. Don't sell them short just because they are not alcoholics and don't "understand". Your not the first nor will you be the last they have seen. In my case telling my my boss was a relief. Not only do I not have to lie anymore but now I have people at work who care enough to ask how I'm doing and I can talk openly with them about it. For me honesty has turned out to be better then all my lies put together.....imagine that.

Plenty of advice here already about getting help. Good luck to you today.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:04 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I wanted to give you an update. I entered my bosses office knowing i was in for it. They gave me two choices. Well actually first they asked me why i was gone for four days..apparently two of which they considered no call no shows. The big boss was there (who was not just factual but down right bitchy). There was NO WAY i was telling them that i have a drinking problem at that point. I told them i went off the deep end after all my depression issues. Which I think actually made it worse. It made it seem like I didn't call just because. Really I didn't call because I was almost dead from alcohol poisoning. They gave me two options: Resign with no mark on my record or take a final written notice and if I mess up at all for the rest of my employment I will be terminated. I chose the second choice. Had to sign a written agreement that I knew I had been given several chances and that it was up to me to prove that I was the emplyee they hired basically. I was fine with that. What I was not fine with was the attitude towards the fact that my issues had to do with mental health and not physical health. Key phrases included "we are not going to help you anymore" and "you are in nursing school it wouldnt be wise to **** off the entire health system". im not mad that i was punished I deserved it. But my thought shortly after was I bet if i had cancer they wouldnt say ****. maybe thats my attitude talking and not reality. I dunno yet. I havent let the whole thing set in. I can say that im ashamed. It was the most embarassing moment of my life. Ive never been yelled at or written up at a job before in my 29 years. I spent the whole night very very angry at work and my boss didnt even say goodbye when she left. cant say that i blame her. i smoked a bunch of cigarettes and only got a little more angry at myself, society, heredity, and my past for predisposing me to these issues. Im going to work my ass off for 6months to prove im the same person they hired and then move on. they said that they would not judge me if i pulled my act together but i know i will always be tainted in their eyes. dunno if anyone else agrees but i cant see them suddenly waking up one day and saying "gee remember when she missed 18 days of work...that was silly. shes so much better now." Makes me want to take a shot to be totally honest. im going to bed before i say anything else. thanks again for all your advice and i will stay on this site for support and insight. blessed be.

Last edited by newstart2; 09-29-2009 at 11:19 PM.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:10 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Hi newstart

The fact is it's down to you to deal with your alcoholism now if you want to keep your job.
Whats your plan?

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Old 09-29-2009, 11:19 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Would insurance cover rehab program...? Bottom line get
as real as you can right now about doing whatever it takes to get
clean.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:35 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Ive been to two AA meetings in the last year. Although I know they work for some people they are down right depressing to me. I already know alcohol has destroyed my life--it killed my dad and now its eating away at me. I have an appt this week to see the EAP to find out other options although ive found that AA seems to be the first and only option some people hand out. Are there other options? ive heard some people just stop. They get sick of all the drama and negativity and they just cant handle it anymore. Also Smart recovery and moderation management...although the latter ive heard is not a good idea for me at this point. any alternate options?
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:47 PM   #32 (permalink)
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This resources link is by no means exhaustive but they're a start - I bet you could find as many again through Google

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

Keep reading here @ SR - I bet you'll get some ideas that way too

good luck
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:57 PM   #33 (permalink)
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How badly do you want to get sober? If alcohol is destroying (your words) your life, than what does it matter how the solution to the problem makes you feel? If you're drowning in the ocean and you're on your last breath, and a boat arrives with a lifering, you don't get picky about the boat.

Lots of people just stop. Then they just start again.
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Old 09-30-2009, 04:39 AM   #34 (permalink)
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But my thought shortly after was I bet if i had cancer they wouldnt say ****.
Alcohol addiction is a type of cancer. It eats away at you until it finally kills you. although you are right people look at it differently - we have to learn to accept that. You made your choice by not telling them. I think reinstating your good work history is a very good idea, but your sobriety is just as important if not more. Go and show them....... You said they already made up their mind about you. Prove them different. We are all on your side.
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:10 AM   #35 (permalink)
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newstart2 I spent many years lying, not just to cover up for problems due to my drinking and my drinking itself, but almost everything in life.

There were times when I would tell a lie even when the truth would have been easier to tell!

Where did this all lead? Well it led me to a VERY complicated life, I told so many different lies that I had a very hard time keeping my lies straight, as a result I was caught lying all the time, I wove such a tangled web of deciet that I tangled myself up in it.

When it came to my drinking and a lot of other things I lied to myself and beleived most of my lies to myself.

In order for me to get and stay sober I had to become brutally honest with myself and honestly honest with all others UNLESS it would hurt them for no reason.

I have found it is never to late to tell the truth and suprisingly when I have told the truth after telling a lie things came out for the better.

The Americans with disabilities act does protect alcoholics and addicts if they are seeking treatment from being fired as long as they get and stay clean and sober. I would strongly suggest that you speak openly and honestly with you HR folks about what is REALLy up.

The truth has set me free, today I do not need to remember what I told some one yesterday because I know I told them the truth and if I tell the truth today it will not contradict what I said yesterday. Telling the truth all the time has made my life far easier.

BTW I personally know a RN that has been sober using AA for some time now, AA saved not only her life, but her job as well. There are a lot of folks in AA in the medical profession, doctors, nurses, therapist, pharmacist, etc. You ARE NOT ALONE!
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Old 09-30-2009, 08:56 AM   #36 (permalink)
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You may not realize this right now., but, you are very lucky they gave you the second option.

With the information you shared with them, I believe they acted the best they could. Could they have been more compassionate, I don't know.

I do know when someone doesn't show up for work, and doesn't call, it leaves alot of people in the lurch. You have to cover and reschedule for a shift/schedule on the cuff, other people have to change their plans, reschedule their lives because of your actions. Having been in that position, to say someone was bitchy and didn't say goodbye, well,
that is just part of the fall out from our drinking.

Try to let that anger go, or channel it into something positive for your recovery.

Show them what you can do with your actions...
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Old 09-30-2009, 09:28 AM   #37 (permalink)
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I thought about it all day and you are right. I am very lucky to have been given a second chance. I am still a little bitter about the wording involved but they did offer me options which is more than alot of emplyers would have done. Its time to clean house, make it right, and if they never see me in a better light again then thats the consequences of my actions. I still have a job and thats whats most important.
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Old 09-30-2009, 09:45 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Now...that sounds like someone working on their recovery!!!
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