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Old 09-27-2009, 09:13 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aysha View Post
I think you can get some great advice from alot of people at different stages. Just because they may not follow it themselves, I think some have good things to share and contribute.
I was a chronic relapser. I also do not know my clean date. Not exactly. I know a time frame. And thats just because I dont really count days. I didnt bother to notice the last use cause I relapsed so many times. What was the use? This time seems to be sticking and I have made some huge changes that I havent done before.

I myself have not touched anything except caffeine and tobacco.
I can say and will always say that I have screwed up so many times. But yes. I do always keep trying no matter what. EVen though I have been at it over 2 yrs now. I dont think anyone gets right away. And maybe it takes longer for others. But I would really hope any person would keep coming back no matter how many times they fall. If they didnt. That means they gave up.
Yeah totally people should keep coming back, it is good that people keep coming back into meetings and hopefully they will keep coming back until they get it:-) But IMO they should listen, don't go giving out advice when they know **** all about what it is like to get sober and stay sober...ok to say to a bunch of sober people cos it is something to talk about at the coffee after but not to someone who has walked in the door for the first time. I just came back from lunch with my sponsor probably 95%/5% talking in his favour...i know where my beliefs, thoughts, ideas sent me...i want to here how the **** he has stayed sober for 24 years and emulate his success...not what i think?!

Glad you doing something different this time that is working for you, and it's important to remember for us all that what we did in the past doesn't mean we have to keep doing it:-)
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Old 09-27-2009, 09:21 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Yea..Your right. People who start preaching what they think. And especially if its something that obviously is not working for them. Probably could use a listen or two.
I know I have been in that boat plenty times. Hell..I might be still. LOL
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Old 09-27-2009, 09:24 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Aysha i've done it, was doing it last year when i stopped drinking for 5 months...thought i had the solution for everyone...turns out i didn't lol I do now though;-)
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Old 09-27-2009, 09:30 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Yes, I have. The first time I attempted getting sober years ago I did. Bad, bad, bad!!! It was all shame and guilt and was too hard for me to face because I didn't want to be a "failure". So of course that just led me to the "f-its" and I was off again.

What I got from it though is that if I don't want to feel that shame and guilt, then I don't pick up. I HATE being a liar, I think that was what my failure was at that time. My true self morals got kicked away.

I love being true to myself no matter how difficult my situation today, but I know that in order to keep my side of the street clean it is absolutely necessary.

In ending, because I truly value honesty and truth, it makes it that much easier for me to stay the path today.

Thanks for that post Aysha.
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Old 09-27-2009, 10:38 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Here's my little mental gymnastic routine.
I have never lied about my sober time, ever. I drank at 3 months (got blackout drunk, very bad) and changed my sobriety date, was open about it. I then put 6 months together, then had a glass of wine. Somehow it stopped there but it scared the sh!t out of me. Changed my sobriety date, was very open about it. As I come up to what WOULD have been a year had I not drank at 6 months and I worry about non-program, non-family people who know I am in recovery asking how long I have. I worry that in their eyes any work I had done on myself in those original 6 months was totally negated by that glass of wine. My drinking impacted my academic program and I am sometimes freaked out at the idea that someone there will ask me about my time. It has crossed my mind that I should lie about it if that happens.
But because this is considered a very confidential matter at school, no one has even come close to questioning me about anything touching recovery... which makes me think all this worrying I'm doing has a lot more to do with how _I_ feel about that slip than what they _would_ feel about it, if they knew about it.
In talking about this with my sponsor, she has told me that she too has a should-have-been sobriety date that she had to give up due to use of another drug (many decades ago this happened, she has nearly 30 years sober). We plan to have dinner in honor of my should-have-been date, let it go, and refocus on the here and now
But to wind up, I'd rather have someone's opinion of me lowered by having less time than knowing that they thought highly of a liar. I couldn't face myself in the mirror.
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