acoogle

i sure wish i could figure this sr thing out.im not sure if im doing it right but here i go.i am having trouble tonight i am seven days cold turkey off oxys and morphine taken for two yrs at large doses i felt ok today but tonight i feel horrible. i guess it probably isnt helping that my husband is outside with some of his buddies all oxyed out and im trying so hard for me and my daughter. i feel sometimes that after this is all said and done he and i will end up in divorce.he doesnt seem to be proud of me after all he went four days and caved on the 5th and had to get pills.im not gonna do it i just need some encouragement i really have noone to talk to. someone please let me know that you have been through and its possible and the pain of the wd's get better thanks acoogle

Aysha

I am sry you have to deal with that. It def doesnt help when you dont have support and someone is using around you.
But you have a perfect reason for hanging in there. First of all you seem very determined to do this. Which is awesome. Especially considering your situation. And you have a daughter to look after.
I know its hard when you lack support and it seems your efforts dont mean **** to someone. But all that matters is you and your daughter.
You cant control what your husband does. And I am sry. But obviously he either doesnt have the interest or the will enough to want to change.
I am proud of you for your efforts and I know the rest of the members here are too.
Is there any sober support groups by you?
Meetings or counceling you can go to?
Any sober friends of your own. Family other than your husband?
Take your daughter and do something to distract your mind and to get away from the using atmosphere for a little while if you can.
Play a board game or something with her.
I would want to put up some bounderies if I were you. And stick to them. And having other people who dont even live there using is unacceptable in my book.
There has to be some compromise somewhere.
Whether he is proud of you or not. He is obviously on a different level than you are right now.
Just hang in there and do anything to stay away from using people. And distract yourself as best you can. Stick around here. Stay close. We all can relate in some way.
Just dont let it get to you so that you use.

Anna

Yes, Aysha is right.

You need to do whatever it takes for you to stay sober and to take care of your child. Your husband is on his own journey. Don't worry about whether or not he is proud of you. This is something you are doing for yourself.

Klean24

It does get better. The possibilities of life clean and sober are limitless. Don't set your goals on getting your life back. Set them on having a better life.

Let's do it.

acoogle

Aysha, thanks alot.there are some groups and meetings i can and will go to.my sweet baby daughter is all i got and the reason i quit the devil pills is when my daughter caught being buying them in my driveway from someone i barely knew and after that day i said f--k it no more i will not destroy her or my life any longer and thanks again for your words of encouragement it really helps

Rowan

Welcome to the site I'm glad you found us - many of us understand what you're going through, and how you may be feeling. Hang in there and keep reaching out - you aren't alone.

citychick

I feel for you acoogle. I was in the same situation when I got clean. What I discovered was I could get and stay clean regardless of my husband and his mates.

You'll be an inspiration to him whether he realises it now or not.

All the best my friend.

Aysha

I agree with Citychick. You can lead by example. He may not think anything of your efforts at the moment. But I have no doubt as time goes by he will want some of what you got instead of the other way around.
It may be because he caved that he is acting like he is. He may feel ashamed becasue you are doing ti and he didnt. But he can too if he tries hard enough.
But all that matters is what you do. For your own sobriety.
Maybe a little of it will rub off on him. And most def show your daughter that that isnt any way to live.
Hang in there.

Dee74

I agree with everyone here Angie.

I really hope your husband will come around, have a moment of clarity, and join you....but everyone has their own journey.

Right now, all this is for you...and indirectly for your daughter.

There's always support here at SR when you need it

D

least

I'm just an alchoholic and don't know much about pills. Why don't you copy and paste your first post in this thread over on the Substance Abusers forum. People over there are experts in that field and can give you lots of good advice and experience.

Glad you joined our SR family!

Kez

Acoogle wow you are so strong to resist when all that negativity is around you, you are doing well hold on tight and everyone has given you some great advice.. Keep it up your determination WILL get you there, so dont give up...

CONGRATUATIONS on changing your and your childs life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

acoogle

kez thanks it was the hardest night i had. i went to our room at 10pm and laid there and went back outside smoked a cig kinda showed my butt broke a glass in front of him and his friends and said im tired of all this riff raff in my yard "my husband said oh now you are all high and mighty because you are 7 days clean" and i said yep and im not only seven days clean im clean for the rest of my life sorry you couldnt join me.he said that he is going to leave me because i dont love him and am judging him and im not im trying to help him because he has other addictions such as crack pot etc that i have never touched. since ive been sober off the pills i see him in a diff light now and maybe he leaving wouldnt be the worse thing for my daughter and i.please respond: