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pennylane2009 09-25-2009 12:13 PM

Dealing with anxiety?
So, I can pretty much deal with stress, I know all the tips and stuff that I should do (not that I always do it) but I am at a loss when it comes to dealing with anxiety.

I made a big mistake at work this week -- sent out a public email to folks three days earlier than it should have gone out -- and it was supposed to be a secret until Monday. My stomach is in knots today, and I feel ramped up. I honestly don't know how to make this feeling go away, other than wait. In the past, if something like this came up, I'd drink it away until I was numb. I'd be planning on "relaxing" later with wine or beer. But now? No clue.

Any advice?

Anna 09-25-2009 12:21 PM


Anxiety is hard to deal with. And, if allowed, my mind will wander back through the day and pinpoint everything that happened that wasn't right. I have tried to learn to not judge myself and to not expect perfection. Everyone makes mistakes and I sure do too. I also try to turn off the thought patterns that happen to me, usually late in the evening when I'm tired, and focus my head on something pleasant. It's hard and it doesn't always work, but it helps.

tommyk 09-25-2009 12:47 PM

Anxiety stems from trying to CONTROL the future, through worry, or the past, by trying to change what already happened.

Can you really control either the future or the past?

Accept what will come, accept what has already come to pass.

I know this subject really, really, well. Anxiety put me in the hospital until I figured out exactly what anxiety really is - my own control issues.

Keep coming back. ;)

pennylane2009 09-25-2009 12:58 PM

Thanks, Tommy. I think for me, anxiety stems from fear. I fear I'll lose my job because of this, or I fear I'll embarrass myself, or something fear related. And having to talk about my mistakes with other people make me feel kind of vomitous, too.

I am already starting to feel calmer, though. Made fun of myself with someone on the phone, and had a good laugh. Maybe I need a couple more of those.

tallcactus 09-25-2009 01:15 PM

Anxiety, worry, fear, they R all false truths.
Listen 2 some music, do what U love 2 do. This feeling will pass, stay busy and strong.

ZeroNowhere 09-26-2009 03:00 PM

I firmly believe in Yoga and breathing excercises to control my anxiety. Until last week I was on anti anxiety meds for this, but have had to drop them, as my doctor doesn't want me on anything besides what he's treating me with.

I take nice deep breaths in through my nose from the stomach, put your hand on your tummy and you'll feel it rise and fall. I count 10 seconds in, and I exhale, 10 seconds out mentally counting.

Visually thinking of being in a serene scene has also helped. I guess that would be meditating, but I don't put a whole lot into it. I just sit down, dab some lavender oil (great stuff for anxiety!) on my wrist or somewhere easy to sniff, and visualize my own personal place of serenity. For me it's a white sanded, clear blue water, empty beach. Only I am there. This helps a lot.

And of course bubble baths or showers with lavender scented bath or body wash. The smell of lavender is very comforting. And this is a little weird, but I also find the scent of fabric softener comforting as well, so sometimes I dab that on my wrist and sniff at it till I've calmed myself down.

I also like a nice cup of chamomile tea, or the tension tamer tea. Chamomile is my favorite. If I'm particularly stressed I brew a nice strong cup of that and sip it and feel pretty good after wards.

Breathing though is the most important one for me.

Aysha 09-26-2009 03:09 PM

I agree, Anxiety is a tough thing to deal with. Especially if you start to obsess.
I have to just go somewhere quiet and just calm my mind. Listen to my surroundings. Be in the moment. And if that doesnt help. Then do somehting that may ease my mind on the situation. Like finding out what the result of my action will be if I can. Get the waiting over with. And humor is always a great way to ease that discomfort.
Like Tommy said. Acceptance is huge. Some things you just cant contol. So no use in trying to or worrying about it until that time comes. I know easier said than done.
I find a nice hot bubble bath is really relaxing too.
I hope you feel better soon.

WantToHeal 09-26-2009 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by pennylane2009 (Post 2379552)
I'd be planning on "relaxing" later with wine or beer. But now? No clue.

Any advice?

Yep, this was me as well. Some suggestions for you: a good meal, exercise, getting out into nature, hot shower or bath, going to a meeting, quality time with a loved one, doing something nice for somebody else, deep breathing...or some/all of the above!

Of course, I'm on meds too. But I'm finding that it takes a more well-rounded approach to truly be calm and happy.

Be well!

Dee74 09-26-2009 04:46 PM

Stress is still a big one for me PL.

I try to keep active, I try to get enough rest, I make sure I always have a funny movie on hand...

In that case of you doing something wrong at work, I know that's not gonna go away.
But drinkings not gonna help you either - I remember many times being stressed and drinking and ending up more stressed and depressed...not to mention drunk for several days and then hungover and sick for several more.

Try to keep a sense of perspective. You made a mistake - but it's not worth harming yourself over - which is what we do when we drink.

I hope you feel better today :)

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