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Old 09-24-2009, 05:24 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Creekryder View Post
Well, the battle came suddenly this afternoon. The past three days were no problem at all. Then about a half and hour ago the siege began. Not a slow, gradual desire, but a sudden, out of nowhere blast that took me to my knees. The voice inside told me, "What the hell, you're by yourself, know one will know. Come on, let's get toasted." And for a brief moment, i was surrendering. I entertained that thought and almost walked out the door to drive to the store. The store that just Monday I took my last 12 pack of beer I had stashed in the woods and gave it to the owner (who drinks) and told her I'm quitting. Now I was even coming up with excuses to why I was going to buy more beer from her. That my friends, is insanity. And the urge kept coming on hard and strong. I had to write to shake it. I have all the cards stacked against me at the moment, leaving me vulnerable. I am home alone, not a soul around that believes in sobriety ( I lost them years ago.) whom I can talk with. The only thing I have at this time is SR. I can not slip here, I have to fight it or I will be back where I was last week. At least I don't suffer the physical torment some do with abstinence. But the psychological struggle is intense tonight. I'm afraid the blight of L. Talbot is descending quickly. I need that friend to lock me in the room.

I realize that I am have assumed the role of madman again, I was hoping not to go there again so soon. Indeed, I am insane at the present, poisoned by the liquid I so disparately crave at the moment. If only there were someone sober with whom to sit and talk.

I believe I will fix a cup of tea and see if that helps.

I WILL NOT DRINK...not tonight. I promise you and most importantly, I promise myself. Keep me in your thoughts, I believe it is going to be a stormy night.

Padraic
It wont be easy, did the same thing the past few days = broke promises I made to myself. It'll happen, don't get down on your self man. People make mistakes!
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Old 09-24-2009, 05:48 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Creek,

I'm definitely a newer vintage around here (pun intended, I spose) so i don't pretend to have any sage experience to draw on or wise words to offer, but when I read your werewolf metaphor, kind of felt a common wavelength, and I'm pushing all the peace I can your way, brother.

I had a little struggle last night too, and these kinda helped me with that uncertainty. Hope its not against forum rules or anything. First one is old/standby & sort of obvious, second one you may not have heard but he saws his heart out & that felt right to me. If you wanna play it its not hard, tune CGEGCC and it's pretty obvious.

youtube.com/watch?v=knII3S0MZtY

youtube.com/watch?v=JfAS6nwYc9g

Peace, remember who you are.
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Old 09-24-2009, 05:59 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:06 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Driftwood, thanks for the tunelinks, I had not heard of Bon Iver but enjoyed it. Kinda reminds me a little of Glen Hansard. The C tuning I am familiar with. I use open tunings on my squareneck, though usually I sit with D, as I think it sounds a little bluesier. Was gonna trade that squarenecker for a round, but it kinda fun beating around on it on your lap.

Watch that full moon, brother, it sneaks up and blind-sides you.

Padraic
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:08 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Doin' my best, Yukon, doin' my best.
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:22 PM   #26 (permalink)
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definitely a lot in common between Justin (Bon Iver) and Glen. I loved The Frames, in fact Swell Season is in town in a month and a half and I'm going...can't wait for that. Although...just typing that, realizing there's a great big question mark there: does a live show work out to the same pitch sipping soda? I have no idea, since I've never done it. But I hope so.

I believe you about that moon, pulling for you to best it too.
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:34 PM   #27 (permalink)
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I think the worst is over for tonight. Whewwww! That was a bad one. I actually experienced confusion, despair, disorientation, diminished concentration, and anxiety all rolled up into one convoluted emotion that was pretty damn powerful. But now feel even-keeled and coherent again, at least as much as can be expected from a sodden Irishman. The Beast has gone so I think I'm going to watch a movie then turn in. Thanks to all of you pulling me out of the crazies. I hope I can reciprocate sometime.

Peace—
Padraic
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:37 PM   #28 (permalink)
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that's awesome pad! good for you. you did it.

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Old 09-24-2009, 06:46 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Hey Creek... Guitar player here also!! I guess our avatars give it away.

I play blues style too... Rev. Gary Davis, David Bromberg, Jourma K., kind of stuff, also folk music... Prine, Tony Rice (can't flat pick like him though!!). Well you get the idea.

Stay dry tonight, play that guitar!

Mark
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:48 PM   #30 (permalink)
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woohoo you did it,, awesome, this helps me soooo much because this is the beginning of day 5 for me,, and i was where you were two nights ago,, and everyone here got me through and iknow there will be more like it..... its fantastic to know that we can come here and gain the support from everyone to help us through.......

SR I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
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Old 09-25-2009, 10:30 AM   #31 (permalink)
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congrats

Love to see all the guitar players here, too. I tried learning a few years back, and could never get my fingers moving right. Maybe now that I'm sober and am looking for things to do, I'll pull it back out of the closet and start strumming again ...

Congrats, CreekRyder, on getting through the tough time. Is your name Padraic? That was my dad's name, and my son's (although we call him PJ.)

Here's my contribution to the music (sorry, this is a TV commercial, but it's still cool)

youtube.com/watch?v=2Bb8P7dfjVw
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