Selfdestructive
 

Hello!
I'm a newcomer to this site, unfortunately not to alcoholism. My first sobriety date was 03/19/07 after detox and short rehab. This year life got real tough (I know it does that). Anyway I'm back to half a bottle a day and no not beer. Why is it so difficult the second time around? I really don't understand, I liked being sober, clear minded and feeling fine waking up every day. I tried meetings, but it's too far to travel for me. I know one thing: I can't do it alone and need support, which I don't get at home. So I'm really happy I found this site. Thanks for listening.

Welcome to SR Saphie... I don't have any experience with the second time around, but I know someone will be along soon.

If you are still interested in meetings, there is an AA meeting right there in Berlinsville, 2 miles from you on Sundays at 6:30. If you reach out I bet you'll find some help.

If you are not ready for meetings yet or even if you are, this is a great place for help. Welcome!!

Mark

Thanks - that means a lot and I will look into the meeting in Berlinsville. Right now I just want to make it home without stopping to buy more. It drives me crazy. I'm much stronger than that.

Hi Saphie,

Yes - you ARE much stronger than that. You have the choice to go straight home or stop at the gas station, liquor store, grocery store, etc. I'm confident that you will make the right choice today. If you are going to stop somewhere, maybe stop at a bookstore instead and get something to read?

Go home and post more on SR. Read some of the other posts here. Write or call a friend you haven't spoke with in a while. Do some activities around the house - laundry, vacuum, wash dishes, cook yourself a good meal or start reading a book. I'm not a fan of sitting and watching TV - too little mental and physical stimulation for me.

Interaction with sober people will keep you on track towards your goal of staying sober. C'mon back and post some more later.

You are doing the right thing be reaching out! Just drive right by those state stores and when you get home, come back to SR... It's always open.

When was your last drink?

Mark

Hi Saphie
Welcome to SR.

For me it was always much harder to get back on track after a relapse cos I basically felt disgusted in myself, my self esteem was shot and, at some base level, I didn't think I was worthy of anything, much less saving.

I realise now that ingesting massive quantities of a depressant didn't help :)
Trying to resist the next drink is the #1 priority.

If you've been drinking for a while, I recommend seeing a doctor before you detox.

No-ones ever doomed to remain an alcoholic - even when we relapse after a period of sobriety.

Reaching out - like you've done here - is a great start.

Keep posting. :)
D

Saphie... maybe make a deal with yourself that you'll surround yourself with some AA people until you get a grip on your sobriety.

When your way isn't working anymore be receptive to some other thinking.

Keep coming back. ;)

I couldnt tell you why it is harder the next round. I think for me it was because I was just slowly giving up. But thank goodness I didnt go too far with that thought.
Keep focusing on how great it was when you were sober before.
Remember those feelings of sobriety when you think you want to drink.
I am glad that you dont want to do it alone. It does make it tougher if we do.
I am sry you dont have that support at home. But there are lots of ways you can find it with people just like yourself.
Hang in there. And hope to see more of you.

Saphie, I think it was harder for me each time I tried to stop. The disease took on a life of its own. But, know that you can do this. There is always something inspiring here to read and lots of support too, so keep posting.

Hi Saphie,

How about some ice cream or something. I've found a little sugar helps. There's so much of it in alcohol. And hot tea.

Hold on

It was harder for me for many of the reasons already posted and I knew what detoxing was going to be like. I never want to do that again. I hope you made it past those stores. Check in and let us know how you are doing.

:wave:
Glad you are here with us Welcome!

Hi Saphie,, i sooo identify, i couldnt figure out why i couldnt get started (well it wasnt my second time, it was probably my hundreth time) I to had sober months and loved be clear minded and feeling great when i woke up,, i dont understand why its so hard to stay there... but it is... and the longer we have the alcohol problem for i think the harder it gets for us to stop... i always new the disease was progressive but it hit me more when i came to this site by listening to everyone.. now i realized that the brink that i was on, was the next declining level in the sickness and i could tell it was about to get a whole lot worse, but thankfully to these good people, i was able to snap myself out of that decline and now i am 5 days sober and I pray that i stay this way.........

good luck to you......

Welcome to SR Saphie, there are actually quite a few meetings fairly close to you, if you do not feel you can handle the ride home alone I would see about getting or giving rides to and from meetings.

I and most folks I know in AA love giving people rides to and from meetings, it is kind of like an extra mini meeting to and from a meeting. Save gas, stay sober, and make sober friends, hard to beat that!

I have found that it does get harder after a relapse or two... But, one thing I try to remember is that the relapses themselves are much worse each time.

My first relapse lasted quite a while before I found myself in dire straits again. My second lasted about a month. My third about a week....

In my most recent relapse, I remember drinking the first drink, and then I remember waking up a week later. So it got really bad in the space of one drink.

I try to remember THAT part of drinking whenever that urge to go have a beer crops up.

-Goat