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Old 09-23-2009, 07:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Had a terrible relapse....


Things were going so well, wonderful, great then bam it hit me, a weeklong bing relapse and I did some terrible things, cost my myself money I needed, may in up in jail and lost some respect from my wife. I feel so alone right now, she wont talk to me, my son is only 4 and still loves me no matter what. I know there will come a time when he wont anymore if this keeps up. I dont know if my wife and I can make thru this one, she hardly talks to me. I feel so alone in this big house. I dont think Ive been this depressed in a very long time. I just dont know, sometimes I think at least she would be better off without me, my son I would hate to leave and I dont mean across state. And things were gooing so well...
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Old 09-23-2009, 07:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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searching: sorry to hear you slipped.. but.. you know it ain't the end.. get back up and carry on! ODAAT!
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Old 09-23-2009, 07:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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get back up my brutha. if they were going well they can again.

and after being married for 25 years women can have a very long memory but they do eventually forgive. at least mine has and i've done some really dumb things.
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Old 09-23-2009, 07:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Recovery is a process. I've relapsed so many times. But I'm getting better at quitting you know? Rather than saying, "Its Tuesday and I drank, mine as well drink the rest of the week right through the weekend," it is now, "I messed up Tuesday night, got to get back to staying sober Wednesday, go to the gym, etc." It is different for everybody, but I think that it is like anything else in life, the better you get at it, the better the results.
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Old 09-23-2009, 07:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Things were going so well, wonderful, great then bam it hit me, a weeklong bing relapse and I did some terrible things, cost my myself money I needed, may in up in jail and lost some respect from my wife. I feel so alone right now, she wont talk to me, my son is only 4 and still loves me no matter what. I know there will come a time when he wont anymore if this keeps up. I dont know if my wife and I can make thru this one, she hardly talks to me. I feel so alone in this big house. I dont think Ive been this depressed in a very long time. I just dont know, sometimes I think at least she would be better off without me, my son I would hate to leave and I dont mean across state. And things were gooing so well...
Nice logo. I def did the wrong things the past few days, just gave up sitting around doing opiates but traded it, for going to bars and casinos, drinking doing cocaine...
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Old 09-23-2009, 08:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
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its not just I slipped, we had sold my prized jeep made a great profit on another vehicle was going to use the money to pay off my bankrupcty, instead I got drunk won more money but somewhere between the table and room at the hotel, it all disappeard. cops think is was someone that prays on people like that, all drunk with a wad of money in the pocket. now its all gone, have to start all over, I feel like such a dumb ass, Im so depressed....
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Old 09-23-2009, 08:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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its not just I slipped, we had sold my prized jeep made a great profit on another vehicle was going to use the money to pay off my bankrupcty, instead I got drunk won more money but somewhere between the table and room at the hotel, it all disappeard. cops think is was someone that prays on people like that, all drunk with a wad of money in the pocket. now its all gone, have to start all over, I feel like such a dumb ass, Im so depressed....
Dude I am so sorry to hear that, that just sucks. I'm sitting here right now fighting the urge to blast gaggers and go to the liquor store. But I can't I'm in deep ****, must sleep.
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Old 09-23-2009, 08:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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That is horrible. But it is just another reprecussion of drinking.
I know how it is to get ahead and then mess it all up just to find yourself deeper than you were before.
But the great thing is that you can stop digging antime you want.
I know you cant get that time or money back. But you can learn from it and just pick yourself back up and know that drinking will most likely result in some sort of loss.
It is never hopeless.
I use to wish it would all just go away. That I could go back and not screw up. Back at square one for the millionth time.
But you can make it better by not drinking again and just start again.
Are you working any program or have any kind of support system in place?
You will feel better after a little while. Just dont keep yourself down by beating yourself up.
And find a network of recovering people to help you. Whatever way you can.
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Old 09-23-2009, 08:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Searching,

I'm sorry - I've been there. The important thing to do is - stop digging.
Don't drink on this...reach out, and get some help - whatever help is close at hand.

Don't waste another minute. Start rebuilding.
I found once I stopped drinking, eventually everything else fell into place.

and lean on us
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Old 09-23-2009, 08:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
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OK, so you screwed up, the wife knows about it and there's ice in the air at home. OK, now what do you do? Maybe it's time to really get serious about tossing in the towel and asking for help in turning things around, and establish a network to help you stay on track once you are. Doing something about your problem will prove more to your wife than a thousand I Love Yous ever could. Hey, but the I Love Yous help too, so spend a few of those, you only have so many till they're all gone, unless you replenish the supply with action.
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Old 09-23-2009, 09:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Things were going so well, wonderful, great then bam it hit me, a weeklong bing relapse and I did some terrible things, cost my myself money I needed, may in up in jail and lost some respect from my wife. I feel so alone right now...And things were gooing so well...
My experience, and I didn't think this up, it was pointed out to me, that we alcoholics typically don't have problems handling crises-why would we, we're so used to creating them-it's when things are going well that we decide to crash and burn. You may or may not find it useful to acknowledge that nothing 'hit you', for whatever reason, you decided to give it another try.

Not being mean here, better you than me discovering that we're still alcoholics.

What's your recovery plan?
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Old 09-23-2009, 10:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
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These things happen.
Learn from it and ride out the storm.
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Old 09-23-2009, 10:58 PM   #13 (permalink)
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recovery plan so far, gone to a few aa meetings, have a therapist Im seeing, membership at the Y so I can get back to working out and lots of praying... thats the plan so far anyway...
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Old 09-23-2009, 11:03 PM   #14 (permalink)
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recovery plan so far, gone to a few aa meetings, have a therapist Im seeing, membership at the Y so I can get back to working out and lots of praying... thats the plan so far anyway...
Great call, take care of your physical and spiritual well being. It takes a commitment that basically doesn't allow partying.
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Old 09-24-2009, 02:12 AM   #15 (permalink)
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like the others said,,,, stand up dust yourself off, keep going and stick to your plan........

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Old 09-24-2009, 03:26 AM   #16 (permalink)
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searching what happened happened, move forward.

I have found that for me recovery means ACTION, not inaction.

For many years my method of not drinking involved no action on my part at all, it was all inaction, I simply did not take the action of buying or drinking booze, that was it, I took no ACTION, I changed nothing and nothing changed about me! I remained the exact same person that drank, as a result not having my booze and being the exact same person I was when I was drinking, I got really bored, I became discontent, irratable, anxious, and depressed.

What actions were you taking before your relapse?

Did you stop doing those actions?

Do you feel you need to take more action?

Going to a therapist, praying, & going to AA meetings is a good start, at least it was for me.

The Program of AA is an ACTION program, going to meeting are a very small part of that action.

I know I was going to at least one meeting a day for about 2 months, I had a temporary sponsor, and a good network of folks I called daily and I came VERY close to relapsing, the only thing that saved my butt that day was prayer and speaking to another AA member.

I did not get it, I was going to tons of meetings, I was talking to people in AA every day, yet I was mentally right back where I had been!

Well in talking with my sponsor and other old timers in AA I found out what was missing!!

I needed to take MORE ACTION!!!! I needed to take the steps with my sponsor!

Well I took the steps with my sponsor and I apply them daily to all areas of my life, the obsession to drink was lifted and I have found a new freedom, a new life, I have changed into a man that I actually like.

I still take ACTIONS on a daily basis and there is not a single thing in the world that could happen to me today that I do not have a solution for. That solution I have today does not even faintly involve the idea of a drink amking a single thing better.
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Old 09-24-2009, 04:09 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Others have posted some great advice, so i'll just bump up the support and say you CAN pull yourself out of this. You don't have to go running into walls. Sure its tough but it CAN be done and IS done. Look at the guys n gals on here
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Old 09-24-2009, 05:05 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Hi Searching,

I`m really sorry for what happened. I think it`s a sign to you, that things get worse as our addiction continues. It sure was the case for me.

I hope that you can get past this and focus on your recovery.
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:22 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Thank you for sharing. It is stories like this, and believe me there are many stories of terrible relapses told here, that have helped keep me sober.
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:31 AM   #20 (permalink)
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"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough. "

Your own advice seems to be the best
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