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Old 09-24-2009, 07:17 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Sometimes a relapse can be an eye-opener that can help you. Sometimes it's just another in a long line of repeated demonstrations of being an unrecovered alcoholic.

My best efforts always failed. My recovery plan always failed. It wasn't until I became willing to do what had worked for others that I began to recover from this hopeless condition.

No offense, searching, but I look at your join date and see you've been at this for 5 years. Your plans aren't getting you sober. Maybe you should ask around about plans that have proven successful.
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Old 09-24-2009, 07:35 AM   #22 (permalink)
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No offense, searching, but I look at your join date and see you've been at this for 5 years. Your plans aren't getting you sober. Maybe you should ask around about plans that have proven successful.
do what youve always done, youl get what youve always got!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good luck to you!
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Old 09-24-2009, 08:13 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Things were going so well, wonderful, great then bam it hit me, a weeklong bing relapse and I did some terrible things, cost my myself money I needed, may in up in jail and lost some respect from my wife. I feel so alone right now, she wont talk to me, my son is only 4 and still loves me no matter what. I know there will come a time when he wont anymore if this keeps up. I dont know if my wife and I can make thru this one, she hardly talks to me. I feel so alone in this big house. I dont think Ive been this depressed in a very long time. I just dont know, sometimes I think at least she would be better off without me, my son I would hate to leave and I dont mean across state. And things were gooing so well...
I know this sounds so cliche' - but your post reminded me of a line that 'Rock' says in the last Rocky movie which is really motivating to me...it goes something like..."Life aint about how big of a punch you can take, but how many punches you can take and still keep getting up and moving forward..." - or something like that.lol. I love it cuz it reminds ME that when life throws those terrible blows to us - to GET UP and keep moving forward.

I know my words probably dont have any impact on you but I did want to post that and let you know that I'm thinking of you (even though you dont know me...) and praying for you and your situation. :praying

I dont know if you are Christian or not - but the only thing or person that has EVER given me hope in my crummy life of failures is Jesus. I hope you find peace somehow through this.

Get up and keep moving forward.....
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Old 09-27-2009, 05:35 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Just wanted to report, after 2 weeks of killing myself slowy using beer to mask the pain of what I did, the money I lost, Im finally starting to forgive myself and work on the future. Therapy meeting first thing in the morning, taking a resume into a very promising work position then going to try to hit the gym then pick up my son from preschool. Thanks to some awsome friends and a wife that is unbelieveable, therapy and trying to put my strength in God I am slowly starting to forgive myself. I still have a long way to go, the blackness in my heart for what I have done is going to take a while to go away but Im trying... thanks for listening....
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Old 09-27-2009, 05:41 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I'm so glad Searching, that you're feeling better and getting back on track.

Keep posting!
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Old 09-28-2009, 03:00 PM   #26 (permalink)
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searching, hate to put it out there because I do not want to sound mean, but I hope this last run will be a good thing to look back on and stop you in your tracks. No matter what, no matter what, don't pick up!!!

We have all had our struggles, you can do this!!!
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Old 09-28-2009, 03:36 PM   #27 (permalink)
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putting the beer down really is the first step in moving forward and healing Searching...
well done

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Old 09-28-2009, 03:48 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Searching, thanks for such an honest post. One slip, or two, or three, does not mean it's over for you. Keep getting back up on that horse and take control...you CAN do this!!!
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Old 09-28-2009, 04:01 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I don't think there has been a single one of us that hasn't had that happen. The addiction is a "for keeps" player and doesn't let its victims go easily. You have to take your bumps and bruises and "Cowboy up." Don't allow one slip to break the momentum. If you keep working at the problem, a solution does arrive. Hopefully, your wife will see your efforts and in time, forgive. But you have to acknowledge the fact you let her down as well as yourself. Realization is not a castigation, but a tool to improve, so don't continually beat yourself up—that takes valuable time away from self-improvement. It's a tough fight, I can personally attest to that. But we're an army here, and our job is to fight a common enemy, whether is booze or pills, we're fighting what takes away our life, our families. Like the Iroquois example of strength in numbers: a lone arrow is easily snapped in two. Many bundled together are unbreakable. I hope this helps some.

Peace—
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:13 PM   #30 (permalink)
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" Like the Iroquois example of strength in numbers: a lone arrow is easily snapped in two. Many bundled together are unbreakable."

I love this, thanks so much everyone, had a good day today, thats all I can ask for....
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:29 PM   #31 (permalink)
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It's tough, and we can make a million excuses. I've not even started stopping yet and I can beat myself so many times for the mistakes I've made.

You know it all already. It's the curse of the alcoholic to think and think and think. No matter what anybody tells you, you've already thought it.

But you've done it once, you can do it again. And you know what to expect this time. Not much of a consolation but at least you know.

Do something special for the wife. A mixed tape maybe, something which is not worth money but means something to her. Maybe her favourite meal. Getting love back and knowing somebody cares about you is a massive boost.

I hope you make it hunny.
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Old 10-01-2009, 04:13 PM   #32 (permalink)
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thanks for the last few post they were great, dusting myself off and trying this again, still beating myself up some over the past episode but getting there... just a little update, learning a lot about myself after this last failure, all things its taken me a long time to figure out and hopefully will help me in the future and towards a new me. Had a great day today, my wife and I took my son to the local zoo, to the store to get his Halloween costume (batman this year) and out to eat at the local burger joint. rained a little on us but was still an awsome day!
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Old 10-01-2009, 04:26 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Glad to hear things are improving, searching!

When I read what happened to you it felt awful since I can relate to costing myself a significant amount of money in a drunk state of mind, but it sounds like you have a great family to help you through a very rough situation.

One day at a time... keep coming back!
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